A Little Fate
by Crayola's Kisses
Summary: It is often a wonder how our lives are weaved. Will unrequited love still remain as such 'til the end? Or will it turn otherwise?
1. Contents & Acknowledgments

**Contents and Acknowledgements**

**Summary:** It is often a wonder how our lives are weaved. Will unrequited love still remain as such 'til the end? Or will it turn otherwise? After being separated yet and yet again, will Sasuke and Naruto make it through the long journey, together?

**Warning:** Rated MA for explicit mature themes. For those who aren't mature (yet) please do close your browser and stay far, far away as you possibly can. For the mature people, you are already mature! Need I remind you that I rated the story as MA? (Though on the drop down list, it was only up to M and no MA.)

**Viewer Discretion is strongly advised.**

**A/N:** I want you to read it in 3/4 width format. Do I have to notify you people that this is fitted in alternate universe? (Yep, in my make believe world. /rollsover)

**Chapters:**

One – _False Perceptions_

Two - _Sweet Dreams_

Three – _Fork in the Road_

Four – _Rotten Indulgence_

Five – _Carpe Diem_

Six – _Afterglow Embers_

Seven_ – Chocolate Crumble_

Eight_ – Relearn Love_

**Disclaimer:**I am not promoting anything and I do not own anything. I just merely used my imagination and the internet then, viola!

The _Naruto_ characters belong to Maasashi Kishimoto. Jerī & Allen Walker of the _D-Gray Man_ series belong to Katsura Hoshino. Renzō Shima of the _Blue Exorcist_ series belongs to Kazue Kato. The _Cardcaptor Sakura_ characters belong to Clamp. Kurenai Mori of the _Flame of Recca_ series belongs to Nobuyuki Anzai. Eric Lyndon of the _W.I.T.C.H. _series belongs to Elisabetta Gnone, Francesco Artibani, Bruno Enna, Teresa Radice, Paola Mulazzi, Alessandro Ferrari, Augusto Macchetto. Takumi Ichinose of the _Nana_ series belongs to Ai Yazawa.

The following songs: _Auld Lang Syne_ belongs to (Whomever? Ancestors?) everyone. _Easy to Love You_ belongs to Theory of a Deadman. _Rockstar_ belongs to Nickelback. _Haven't Met You Yet_ belongs to Michael Búble. _Marry Me_ belongs to Train. _Missing Me_ belongs to RJ Helton. _One by One_ & _Hope has a Place_ belong to Enya. _Behind Blue Eyes _belongs to The Who. _Skinny Love (Cover)_ belongs to Birdy. _You Give Me Something_ belongs to James Morrisson. _Wicked Games (Cover)_ belongs to Coeur de Pirate. _Young, Wild & Free_ belongs to Wiz Khalifa & Snoop Dogg &Bruno Mars.

The movie _Matrix_ and _Love in the Afternoon_ belongs to its respective directors, producer, writers, and distributor.

If there is a place such as _O'Delifod_, then it is merely a coincidence. I made the name out of _O_: orange/only, _Deli_: delicious, _Fod_: food.

If there is such a company as _Arkhitekton_, then it is merely a coincidence. I took the name form the etymology of architecture. So, yeah, probably there are lots of companies with the same name in the real world.

The _GSX-R_ series motorbike belongs to the Suzuki Motor Corporation.

As for the blonde Julie, there are too many blonde Julie in the world. And I thought of the name at the end so if you are blonde and your name is Julie then it is merely coincidence. I thought of the name Julie because I have a charming friend named Julie. However, she's too young to do anything in semblance with the character in the story. Also, I just came up with standard names for the porters: Stern, Hopkins and George. Then I played with the other names I made up, like Mr. Rutheford. And the following places: Bellford, Framptonshire and Trentmont Hall.

If you want to see the origami animals, look it up under Origami Roman on Flickr. That was how I envisioned the origami in the story to be.

And suicide is a very serious matter. Please do not take the notion lightly or better yet, put it out of your list of considerations. I know okay. I have people in my life who had considered it and thankfully they were unsuccessful. Yes, life can be very vexing and shitty. But for all our sake's you only have one life. O-N-E life. Do not hurry towards death 'cause we're going to get there, eventually.

As for the pipe, I used VaporGenie. Now people, there are a lot of stuff that you could smoke it for, not just dope. Okay? (WTF, I rated this MA. Mature people? I'm not promoting or condoning such stuff anyways. The only thing that I have smoked my entire life was one cigarette. Not even the whole thing.)

As for the broccoli juice, it's Tipco and the clothed lunch box, just think about furoshiki.

And _Ondori_ means rooster. _Okaeri_ (Do I really have to tell?) means welcome back/home.

**A/N:**If I missed something or there are mistakes, please inform me. I am neither a police officer nor a cook nor have I ridden a bike nor have I ran away and came back. I also haven't been on a ship. I've been on a boat, twice to go to the beach. Seriously, I live a pretty sheltered boring life.

I don't know how to end the chapters (especially III) or how to stitch the words well enough! Sorry, English ain't my first language or my strength… And I keep on editing and proofing it, over and over again. (I'm hopeless… I want to re-write the whole thing…)


	2. I

**False Perceptions**** (More Than Meets the "I")**

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne?

…

"Naruto," Sasuke Uchiha beckoned the leaving blond. Upon hearing his name, Naruto Namikaze halted a few feet away from the balcony doors and faced his childhood friend, questioning, "Hmm?"

"Can I have this dance?" Sasuke asked with the soft wind of the night lapping at the trails of his tailcoat. Seeing nothing wrong with the request, Naruto agreed. He backed a little and tilted his head as he listened to the melody playing behind him inside the atrium.

…_I remember all the summer nights, staring at you._

"But it's acoustic," he told, his index finger resting on his cheek as he walked back towards the handsome male. Sasuke's hand reached out towards his arm. "Never mind that. Just dance with me."

Naruto's brows furrowed a little, wondering at the tone of plea he heard. He stared into two midnight pools and saw flickers of anxiety. As he couldn't understand where or what was Sasuke antsy about, he decided to turn the mood light. "Shouldn't you be dancing with one of the horde of people looking for you?" he teased.

Sasuke gave an involuntary and barely noticeable shudder at the mention of the fanatic admirers he had acquired tonight, though very unwanted. "Have you seen how they all wanted to latch onto me?"

Naruto gave a chuckle as he remembered just how hurried Sasuke walked towards him with his trail of frenzied men and women behind. The scenario reminded him of a prey moving out of the predator's grasp. It was all very exciting and ridiculously funny except when it got to the part that they got too overbearing and frustratingly annoying. "You don't think it's better than the bullies who were after you during primary?" he joked.

"Of course not," Sasuke negated on cue before claiming, "I would take a horde of bullies any day." Naruto lightly tapped Sasuke's cheek, goading, "Oh really? I distinctly remember a scrawny beaten up kid who didn't know how to fight."

"Ch, a blond knight came and defended me anyhow." Naruto glowed at the term 'knight' and remembered boasting it to Sasuke then. "Are you saying I'm your shield?"

"Shield?" Sasuke scoffed as he flicked the younger man's nose. "What part of you looks like a barrier?" Naruto rubbed his harassed nose as he glared up at the midnight blue haired architect. "At least show some respect to your protector and mentor," he reproved.

"Mentor?" Sasuke asked, his tone taken aback and mocking. "All you taught me was how to make a fist and to run the other away," he reminded, enclosing Naruto's right hand into his left and encircling his other arm around Naruto's waist before leading their bodies into a slow dance of turns.

…_Should I be moving in? We can be together then._

"But it kept them at bay for a while didn't it? And you got less bruises," Naruto pointed out and earned a grunt of appreciation in return.

…_You gotta know I can never let you go._

After a short stretch of silence, Naruto glanced up and asked, "When did you learn how to use a gun?" As far as he knew, Sasuke hadn't been in any line of work that needed to learn how to handle a gun. Sasuke was an architect and he owns a growing company Downtown.

"Hmm…," the architect droned as he twirled the other man twice. "During college, after I got rescued from my kidnappers. Itachi said it was a good reason to learn and a good time, too."

"Oh," Naruto said, caught surprised and unaware by that event. "I didn't know." Sasuke's mouth moved into the pocket of his right cheek as if contemplating and regarding him. "You probably heard rumours of it when you entered university. It was during my fresher year, so you were still in gap year," he told.

Naruto had heard of many kidnappings and all sorts of university related crimes when he started as a fresher. Though many in numbers, he would have certainly remembered if he heard Sasuke was in one. At his deepening frown, Sasuke spoke. "Something about a rake and a raven art student, it happened around last semester."

Naruto's eyes widened as he remembered one of his upperclassmen telling him of a kidnapping that happened just before the previous school year finished. "Damn it, Sasuke! You picked the wrong lover and you were hospitalized for two weeks! Just what were you thinking?"

Instead of hardening at the reproaching tone, Naruto saw Sasuke's eyes softened. As to why it turned so, he couldn't fathom. Did Sasuke still held feelings for the damnable rake, his lover six years ago?

"I'm not perfect, Naruto."

"But still," Naruto argued. "You were supposed to be the better out of the two of us." Sasuke's lips thinned into a line as Naruto saw uncertainty cloud those midnight eyes. "Are you saying I'm not good enough of a person just because I made mistakes?" Sasuke asked.

"No! But…" Naruto sighed as he bowed his head, staring at the marbled floor. "I wasn't there to save you and..." His ears tinted lightly as he continued, "I'm supposed to be your knight."

Sasuke held Naruto's head back gently, forcing their eyes to match. "You wouldn't be able to protect me even then. We lost touch of each other, besides you weren't even enrolled in college yet."

Unable to hold the intense softness he saw in those midnight eyes, Naruto burrowed his face onto Sasuke's neck as he shifted his hands, embracing the architect. "But still, I wished I could have." Sasuke didn't say anything. Instead, he swayed them slightly and slowly from side to side.

…_It's easy to love you, so easy to love you._

**#**

"What?" Naruto slowly opened his eyes, trying to focus on his surroundings.

"Sweetie, what are still doing in bed?" the blonde voluptuous female asked. "Come on, get up. We planned to go swimming today." She shook his shoulders vigorously, chasing his sleepiness instantly away.

He groaned and pulled her towards his chest. "Can't we sleep in today?" he pleaded sweetly with one eye open.

She caressed his cheek before tracing his jaw with pecks and licks. "Are you sure you want to sleep today?" she asked as she slightly moved away, twinkles of mischief dancing in her brown eyes. He deftly pulled her underneath him, his hands trailing along her creamy thighs. "Not if you persuade me enough," he answered cheekily.

Chuckling, she kissed him fully on the lips. "Then I shall begin."

**#**

"I'll need a credit card that's go no limit and a big black jet with a bedroom in it~!" Naruto warbled as he followed the double solid road markings. "Gonna join the mile high club at thirty-seven thousand fe **-**~"A white slender hand clamped on his mouth, effectively shutting him up. But he didn't let that deter him and he continued to sing, though muffled. "Bwhin twher dwoh twht **-**~"

"Shh! Stop. Fuck Naruto, it's the dead of night. People are sleeping."

Naruto huffed as soon as the hand unclamped from him. "But I want to sing," he whined at the handsome man garbed in ripped jeans and fitted top.

"Then wait until we get home and stop walking at the middle of the damn road. Seriously it's **-**"

_Hooo-nk_, came from the oncoming saloon car, its speed more than thirty miles per hour. The alcohol in Naruto's blood quickly dissipated as he heard the loud irritating sound. Simultaneously, his gut churned bitterly as he saw the fast oncoming vehicle. He quickly pulled his companion out of imminent danger and towards him, causing them to topple harshly onto the paved road.

"What the fuck people? Sort your damn problem on the sidewalk!" The angry driver gave another loud honk as he drove away.

"**- **dangerous. You see what I mean?"

"Sasuke, are you alright?" Naruto asked, his heart thumping wildly against his chest and his arms still wrapped around the architect. Sasuke inched away and checked the blond man underneath him for injuries.

"Sasuke, you're not even listening to me. Damn it! Stop checking me, I'm fine." Naruto waved the annoying hand away and moved Sasuke to the side so he could get up. Suddenly, he felt his arm being pulled to the right and winced at the vice-like grip.

"Let's go home," Sasuke said curtly, dragging Naruto towards the sidewalk.

Naruto sighed, knowing full well that Sasuke was pissed off at him. Well, he couldn't fault him. He just almost killed him because of his idiocy. His heart thumped hard, again, as he thought about what could have happened to his companion. He had seen a lot of dead bodies before as it was inevitable as he was a police officer before. He definitely didn't want to see Sasuke die, not like that anyhow. Itachi would have skinned him alive and Kakashi would have chopped his brains to bits. He bet both of their dead parents right now were screaming at him for his idiocy. In his defence, he didn't plan it to happen or want it to happen. It gave him a good scare which, he was sure, would be haunting him the following nights or for the rest of his life. They, or more accurately he, shouldn't have gone drinking tonight or better just stayed inside the apartment. But Sasuke had a gig in a nearby pub with one of his friends, Renzō Shima.

From what Naruto had pieced together, the two had gotten to know each other when Sasuke had taken music therapy six years ago. Renzō was part of Ex-wire, a small band that was visiting the centre from time to time. Sasuke and the Ex-wire easily got into good terms as music became their common medium. However, Renzō's fraternal twin band mates had signed up for the military and were deployed earlier this year. It would take another year before he could see the two and the band regrouped. So to pass the time and get by, Renzō performed small gigs across the country, inviting his acquaintances and friends to join him.

And what fun it was, especially seeing Sasuke sing on stage. The moment he crooned 'I'm not surprised, not everything lasts. I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track', a lot of catcalls and sighing filled the pub. Naruto even clapped loudly, earning him a number of baleful glares. By the time the duo finished six songs, Naruto had gotten five phone numbers, a squeeze on his arm and a lipstick stained white hanky. Not only that, he also had downed three mugs of beer, two shots of vodka, and a glass of whiskey. But Sasuke finished the tall glass of long island for him, though Naruto had protested and proclaimed that he wasn't drunk, just wee tipsy.

Now, if he hadn't drunk any alcohol, he wouldn't have been walking on the middle of the road and Sasuke wouldn't have been nearly run through. Naruto's spine gave an unconscious tremor as a vision of a bloody hit and run crossed his mind. He shook his head and decided to turn his thoughts away from it. "Sasuke, can I sing now?"

"No," came the swift terse reply.

"It's not fair," Naruto muttered. "You're not fair. Even though my voice doesn't sound good as yours, it still sounds fine. Won't you hear me sing one more time?" He didn't mind if he sounded like a whiny brat. The songs were flowing and buzzing through him and they were pestering him to be let out. Well, the songs weren't pestering him but he was just fired up. And the show he had watched made him want to burst into a song. _Damn it_, he wanted to sing!

Sasuke turned his head to him, his eyes and brows giving Naruto an incredulous look. "Fine, I know I'm tone deaf! There happy now?" Naruto admitted after three seconds under the intense unbelieving gaze.

"Glad you're not living in delusions," Sasuke said with a smug smile plastered on his face. Naruto flustered at the teasing. To deliberately irritate his companion he sang the first song that came to his mind. "Maaaa-rry me~!" he sang in a near ear-splitting falsetto tone. All the frogs in the world would have winced at him as all the goats would have plunged their heads into the ground. "If I ever get the nerve to say 'Hello' in this café, say you will~," he drawled the last three words as he twirled around Sasuke, their arms still linked. "Mm-hmm, say you will, mm-hmm~."

"Yes, I'll marry you so stop singing."

Naruto paid no heed at the joke and command and sang the chorus once more, grinning towards Sasuke. "Maaaa-rry me, today and every day, maaaa-rry me~." He almost croaked on the last word.

Sasuke stilled Naruto by cupping his cheeks. "I already agreed to marry you, so you can stop singing now."

Naruto chuckled at him before belting merrily onto his face. "Promise me you'll always be happy by my side. I promise to sing to you when all the music dies~!"

"I don't want you singing." Sasuke covered his tormented ears. "Will you stop your horrid singing if I marry you this instance? I'll gladly do it, Naruto."

Naruto laughed loudly at Sasuke's good humour and draped an arm on Sasuke's shoulders, taking one hand off the ear. "You know what, Sasuke?"

"What?"

"If you were a girl, I would be kissing you right now. You would probably be my girl-friend too. Ah," Naruto sighed lightly. "But that would mean we wouldn't be able to sleep or take a bath together when we were kids. We would have missed a lot of fun."

**#**

"Nngah!" Naruto shouted once he felt cold water drenching his face. "Pswah," he spluttered the water before glancing around for the perpetrator. A few feet away, a blonde was laughing her ass off on the sand. At the sight of Naruto straightening up from the red and green frog patterned beach towel, she took flight.

"Come back here," he ordered as he ran after her.

"Come and get me!" she shouted, laughing still. It wasn't long before he finally caught up and trapped her under him. She held his tanned cheek carefully. "Does it hurt?"

"Hmm?" He caught her hand and kissed her fingertips. "No. I'm not one of those who get tanned painfully."

"So it would seem."

"Now, for payback for what you did…" He cupped her head and kissed her thoroughly as his hands roamed on her belly, skimming the tight muscles. She gave a heated moan.

"HEY! Get a room! There are children around here!" a voice shouted, effectively ruining the moment.

She groaned as he muttered, "I don't think the kids these days are naïve anyways. Heck, my neighbour's four-year old son already knows what '69' stands for." She gave a laugh as she pushed him aside. "Come on, we better shower and change. It's already three."

"Can't we skip it?"

"No, so hurry up." He followed begrudgingly, kicking the sand as he walked. "I'll give you a reward if you're a good boy," she added. That jolted his spirits and he followed happily. How lucky he was when he met this charming woman nearly a week ago, he thought then wondered how long they'll last.

**#**

"Here." A large bowl of popcorn was shoved into Naruto's vision. "Thanks," Naruto said before noticing the man retreating away. "Where are you going?"

"I need to move around and take a bath. We've been watching films since eight this morning and guess what? It's seven in the night already."

"But the next one is one of the greatest sci-fi films ever!" Naruto argued, trying to persuade the other to stay and watch.

"Whatever, my butt can't take it anymore."

"Don't be such a baby, Sasuke. Come back here! The film is starting."

"I swear I'm going to dream about monster, robots, guns, old power hungry dictators, slugs, time capsules, viral cells, aliens, the earth collapsing and mankind killing **-**" Naruto didn't hear the rest of his tirade as he stopped paying any attention and was concentrating very seriously on the screen. He barely even sensed Sasuke came back and sat beside him, towelling his damp hair.

"So who are those flying men?"

"The man wearing a suit is Agent Smith," Naruto explained quickly, his eyes clearly fired up at the fight scene on the screen. "Neo is the other guy. He's also the main character."

"There's two Neo?"

"Not exactly, the other one's dreaming."

After a few moments of watching the two characters fly around and shove each other against the concrete, Sasuke interrupted Naruto's film, again. "Naruto, you do know I love you, right?"

"Yeah," Naruto answered flatly with his vision still solely on the screen, totally unfazed with the out of nowhere question. "Now stop asking questions and watch the **-** WAHH! Neo got shot! He got shot!" Clearly not getting the thrill of the film, Sasuke took the empty glass bowl on the coffee table and asked, "Do you want more popcorn?" Naruto was not even sparing him a glance when he answered, "Yeah, thanks."

**#**

"Sweetie, we're here. It's time to wake up!" She nudged him on the side as she unbuckled his seat belt. Naruto lifted a hand to his face to wake himself. They were in front of O'Delifod, his newly opened restaurant. He had just opened it three months ago and it was getting good reviews.

Upon stepping inside, a loud burst of 'Happy Birthday' greeted them. Naruto instantly received a shower of thumps on his back and a string of well wished handshakes.

"Jerī !" he greeted his previous co-worker. "How have you been? I heard you moved to the west. What are you doing here?"

"To celebrate, of course! You have quite a nice place here, Naruto."

"Thank you, man! Have you visited Chōji yet?" At the mention of their old boss, Jerī inquired, "Isn't he going to attend?"

"He will. But he said they'll be late. There's a big party right there, some businessman going away, I think. Did you know he's going to be married this winter?"

"To who?"

"Tenten! Do you remember her?"

"Is he serious? Didn't she almost dice him once?" They both laughed at the recollection. "Well, she must have whipped him hard." They laughed harder at the realization.

"I like your dreadlocks by the way. It suits you," Naruto commented between his bouts of laugh. "Ah, it gives an air of attitude doesn't it?" Jerī remarked as he lifted one clump. Naruto agreed whole-heartedly and congratulated him for having courage to take on the patterned hairstyle. "I'll leave you now, Naruto. I want to try what's in your menu," Jerī said before he blew a kiss towards him. Naruto cheerfully laughed at the man's trademark greeting. Not long after, he felt a hand clasp on his arm.

"How does it feel to be twenty-six?"

"Old," Naruto immediately answered as he turned and hugged his long-time friend, Sergeant Shikamaru Nara.

Shikamaru laughed at his response. "Don't like being tiny? I know I don't." Naruto gave him a dirty look, his face slightly upturned at the police officer. He was only five- five in height and the other male was two inches taller. It was just two inches but it was a world of difference between men.

After two hours of merriment and amidst the loud chatter, Naruto found himself within the group of his employees. As one of them was chattering about his comical reviews of the newly opened amusement park, he heard a familiar voice call out his name. "Naruto."

Upon hearing that sickeningly familiar voice, Naruto's laugh instantly died down and his breathing suddenly skipped simultaneously as his heart squeezed painfully. He quickly glanced around the sea of faces to find its owner. The owner of the voice that even in his dreams he heard. The only man his mind was completely obsessed with. The only man he sees whenever he closed his eyes. Oh, how he yearned for him, to see him, to touch him, to hear him; it was almost very painful. And it was almost three years since his eyes had lain upon him, the owner of that wonderful voice.

'_Where is he_?' Naruto wondered as he glanced around once more. He could have sworn he heard Sasuke! But where was he? He turned around again. Was it his imagination?

"Boss, are you okay?" one of his employees asked. Naruto gave a small reassuring smile. "Yeah, I'm just looking for old friends. Do go on with the story." He glanced around one more time, desperately searching for that familiar face.

However, instead of finding a familiar face, he caught a familiar looking shirt at the corner of his eye. It was a V-necked black jersey with a centre design of a white peace logo and wreath of laurel around. He also had one of that in his closet.

His eyes trailed upwards to the man's face. The man had a ghastly shade of paleness. He had his thick long curly dark-blue hair untied, framing the sides of his face and contrasting against his prominent cheek bones and drawn expression. His sunken black eyes were staring right back to Naruto. He looked completely aware that he was under scrutiny and didn't voice an objection.

As Naruto continued his observation, his eyes roamed downwards. He noticed a faint bluish tinge on the right side of his neck. Naruto frowned at the discovery but didn't say anything and continued downwards. The man's collarbone appeared to be very pronounced and the shirt he was wearing, now on second glance, was too large for his lanky frame and his arms practically looked like they were taken from a skeleton mannequin. As a whole, the man's appearance screamed the very definition of a severely malnourished being.

'What happened to you?' Naruto wanted to ask as he stared on those sunken eyes. The man looked lost and out of place. _Is he here to gate crash?_

But before Naruto could approach and ask the man himself, a soft hand slinked on his arm and turned his head away. "Naruto, sweetie, happy birthday!" the blonde greeted before kissing him on the lips and entwining their hands together. "Let's go and blow out your cake."

Naruto smiled sweetly at her. "Okay, lead the way," he answered before looking back at the emaciated man. But he found the previous spot empty and the man nowhere.

**#**

"Good-bye!" Naruto shouted as he stepped out of Chōji's restaurant and into the partly well-lighted alley. It was already midnight and the street was almost empty.

"What took you so long?"

"Sorry," Naruto apologized as he moved towards one of the black lamp posts that illuminated a white and green GSX-R motorbike and an annoyed biker. "There was a big farewell party and the attendees were quite stubborn not to end it," he explained before stopping as he stepped into the circle of yellow-orange light. He smiled brightly at the rider before saying, "Thank you for waiting for me again tonight, Sasuke."

"Not like I have anything else to do here."

"Are you tired from fetching me at night?" Naruto inquired. Tonight was the eighth time Sasuke fetched him and he knew it was truly troublesome.

"Don't be stupid. It's not safe to commute at night."

Naruto rolled his eyes at the response. That had been Sasuke's argument ever since his second night shift. "I'm nearly twenty-three Sasuke! Why do you keep on babying me? And I have commuted lots of time at night before."

"We're not going to discuss this again. Come on, Naruto." Naruto obediently walked towards him as seeing there was actually no point in arguing with Sasuke. It was his decision from the very start. "Or you can let me drive your bike? That way your sleep won't get interrupted and I'm not commuting," Naruto suggested slyly. The white and green bike was just stunningly lovely and he had been dreaming of riding it with the wind slapping onto him.

"Absolutely not. Naruto, you don't even have any driving license. And this is my bike." To emphasize his point and possessiveness, Sasuke zipped his jacket, slipped on his helmet and got on his bike.

"Geez. Why are you so stingy with your bike?" Naruto grumbled as he stomped his foot. Sasuke rolled his eyes at the very childish gesture. "'Cause it's mine. Now, get on and let's go home," he said as he handed Naruto the other white flip-up helmet.

Naruto slipped on his helmet and clambered behind Sasuke, placing one hand around the slim waist and the other gripping the side handle bar. "I'm ready. Let's go home, Sasuke," he informed using the Bluetooth radio built inside the helmet. Sasuke flipped his helmet shut and started his bike and drove away towards home.

**#**

"Huh?" Naruto moved the glass away from his mouth as he stared at the potted red rose standing in the middle of his lounge. He hadn't noticed it when they arrived hours earlier. Then again, they hadn't even bothered to turn on the lights and went straight up to his bedroom.

He placed his glass down on the side table and moved towards the partly opened flower. It was long stemmed and still with thorns and leaves. On its soil were two beautifully made three dimensional origami figures of an orange fox and of a red toad.

Naruto pressed his nose against the thick layers of petals, sniffing the scent of sweet honey from it. He could only stare and wonder who had left him this exquisite ensemble as a gift. He carefully took out the two paper animals, afraid it would get disfigured between his fingers, before pouring the remaining water onto the plant.

'_Did she make this for me?_' he wondered, toying with the fox and toad on his palm. After moving the potted plant to one of the east windows and the origami into one of the drawers, he happily went to his bathroom to shower. As he was taking his clothes off, he noticed a few articles on his hamper that didn't belong to him or to his female companion. Moreover, the two articles were lengthy and smaller than his shoulder width. He grabbed the long sleeved white shirt and grey coat before standing up and searching his house for other items that didn't belong to him or missing.

His first stop was his fridge. Any sane robber would definitely look inside the fridge, he reasoned with himself. He had guessed right on the spot as he continued staring into the empty space that was supposed to have a plate of his pork cutlet sandwich. He even blinked just to make sure that it was missing. He even went to great pains to pinch his cheek to make even surer that it was missing.

"It's gone," he lamented. "So, in exchange for my missing sandwich, I find clothes on my hamper and **-**," The potted blossom suddenly flashed in his mind. "**-** a flower in my lounge."

This time, Naruto was sure of something. His female companion definitely didn't give him that because one, she had been with him the entire day and two, the flower wasn't there when they left. Moreover, she didn't have a spare key to the house or knew his house code.

So who was it? Only Kakashi had a key to his house and knew his security code but he hadn't use it at all and still insist on ringing the door bell and waiting for Naruto to open the door whenever he visited. Did Kakashi finally use his key and code?

"This is so unfair," Naruto wailed softly, still lamenting over his sandwich. He had been planning to eat it later. But now, he had nothing, just clothes, paper figures and a rose.

**#**

"Oh!" Naruto exclaimed as he tore the wrapped packet. "Wow!" He ran a finger against the coloured cover. "My comics," he breathed. Inside the bordered sheet was a drawing of two boys dressed in festive summer kimonos back to back with their respective festive masks on their faces. And in the middle of them was the word 'Fate?' written vertically.

As he carefully turned the thin A5 leaf of paper to the next page, he saw a written message dedicated to him. It read: Congratulations to your first ever comics, Naruto! – Sasuke, your cartoonist.

Below the message was a post-script. 'I made a digital copy, in case you get this original destroyed.'

Naruto chuckled. Sasuke didn't have to do that much. The story had been a spur of the moment. He had that habit or sometimes it came in dreams. However last Sunday, he pestered Sasuke to draw him his latest imagination. It was a very ordinary story, nothing significant about it. Just two kids getting lost and bumping into at a festival and a promise to meet the following year. However, Yasu, the kid with the cat mask, had gotten sick thus, leaving the other kid, Sora, waiting and wondering all night. Though the promise was only for the following year, both kids went back in the hopes of finding each other.

Sora had gotten first at the bon fire. In spite of that, his stomach grumbled and he left his post. Yasu, on the other hand, was running towards the bon fire. He was allowed limited time to visit the festival as he had just recovered from a fever a few days earlier. After nearly an hour, his older brother came and took him home. Thus, when Sora went back, he didn't see Yasu. However, fate had been kind and the man tending the bon fire relayed a message for him from Yasu.

"I'll come back again."

At the following festival, the duo finally met again. And as the Lady of Fate watched above, it turned out the two kids were schoolmates all along.

When Naruto finished reading the twenty-six pages, he immediately went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. He knew what he was going to cook for supper tonight: Sasuke's favourites. It would be his thanks for the wonderful, thoughtful and absolutely heart-warming keepsake.

**#**

_Riiii-ing._ The doorbell screeched for the fifth time, lasting for ten agonizing seconds. Sometimes, Naruto wanted to strip off the bloody thing because, obviously, the people who used it didn't know how to use it properly.

He stomped to his front door and irritatingly opened his door as he shouted at his uncivilized visitor. "What is wrong with **– **Itachi?" He was surprised to see the thirty-one year old expectant father standing at his doorway. _'Isn't he supposed to be with his pregnant wife?'_ was his first thought. He could clearly see all the stressed lines on Itachi Uchiha's face which was almost considered abnormal from his normal calm demeanour. Itachi completely looked the part of the expectant father anxiously waiting as his wife screamed at the top of her lungs just to push the baby out. Though he did look like the part, Naruto noticed a wild spark in those black orbs.

"Did you have to abuse my ringer?" he asked only to be shoved aside the doorway as Itachi went inside without his prompt of invitation. It was clear that Itachi was barely paying attention to Naruto as Itachi looked right and left at the lounge before moving into the galley kitchen. Naruto didn't see him after that.

_Slam!_

Naruto heard it a few seconds after as one of the doors resounded under the strong velocity of being forced open. He grimaced and hoped that whatever Itachi seemed to be looking for be found already. He didn't want to have broken doors. If something in his house was going to be broken, it sure as hell would be under his responsibility.

_Beep_, his orange mobile lighted as it vibrated in his pocket. He took it out and flipped it open, answering brightly, "Hello, this is Naruto."

"Naruto, it's me Chōji."

"Boss!" Naruto cried as he remained standing by his open doorway. "I thought you said you were going to my party the other night?" His old boss gave a chuckle before answering, "You know how it goes with farewell parties. Everyone just kept on prolonging their gathering. They didn't seem quite ready to let their sibling go abroad. You could probably hear them bawling if you had been outside the restaurant. Moving on, you seemed in a good mood today. Everything must have gone well, eh? So, how did the surprise meeting go the other night? Have you fattened the scrawny lad yet?"

"Wha **-**"

"Naruto!" Itachi bellowed from somewhere inside the house. "Where is he?"

"Hang on a sec, boss. It seems I may have a loose madman inside my **-**"

"Damn it, Naruto!" Itachi shouted as he entered the lounge. "You will tell me where he is at once," he ordered as he stood in front of the blond owner of the house. "You have ten seconds."

"Itachi, just who exactly are you looking for?" Naruto questioned, not having a single clue of who was supposed to be in his own house. "Anyway, stop ordering me. This is my house."

Hoping to immediately clear the blond's curious and confused expression, Itachi enlightened, "Sasuke. Where is my younger brother, Naruto?"

"Very funny, Itachi," Naruto said scathingly. He knew the older male had a twisted humour but this was really trying it. "Try again."

"I'm not joking," Itachi informed seriously, his ire slowly going up again. It wasn't in his character to make jokes about something of this important. Sasuke was his only brother and his only remaining family. And he had been gone and couldn't be found. "He's back."

"Stop it!" Naruto hissed at the taller male. He was annoyed and wasn't in the mood to entertain Itachi's ill humour. Sasuke was a sore subject to both and he didn't understand why Itachi was acting as such. "We both know Sasuke has been gone for almost three years," he stated heatedly. "So, he can't be here!"

"Naruto, what do you mean he's not there?" Chōji interjected just as Itachi simultaneously insisted in a firm voice, "He's back. At least that's what your brother told me."

"I'm sorry, boss. I was talking to Itachi. Could you hold on for a minute?" Naruto excused before answering Itachi. "Where is Kakashi? I need to talk to him. Even though **-**"

"I'm here, Naruto," Kakashi Hatake - Namikaze announced below them, as he walked up the porch stairs. Instantly, Naruto swivelled to face his adoptive older brother. "Just what sick lies have you been spouting to Itachi?" he chided before turning back to Itachi. "And you, you should have been smart enough not to believe my housebreaking brother about Sasuke coming back because he's gone." He said with finality before gritting, "He's gone. Get that through your head."

"Naruto, I haven't broken into your house," Kakashi corrected simultaneously as Itachi clipped, "Did you lie to me?"

"I have evidence Kakashi. You put your clothes on my hamper and left me a potted plant here. And you even ate my pork sandwich that I left on my fridge. "

"I didn't lie to you, Itachi. I swear I saw him come out from the restaurant. We could check the restaurant's video if you want," Kakashi insisted before Naruto's accusation sunk in. "Wha **-** wait!" he suddenly exclaimed as he turned back to his brother. "What plant and clothes are you talking about? And what sandwich?"

Naruto stared at his brother noticing the confused grey eyes. But he was sure it was Kakashi. He had been sure it was Kakashi. Kakashi had a key to his house and he knew the code. _If it wasn't him, then who else could it had been?_

"Hello? Naruto? Can I speak now?" Chōji's voice crackled pulling Naruto from his musings.

"I'm sorry, boss," Naruto said quietly, still distracted by his thoughts. "But now doesn't seem to be a good time to **-**"

"Shut the hell up and let me talk, Naruto!" Chōji shouted, surprising Naruto's eardrums and resulting with the phone held at half an arm's length from his ear. "Okay? And put me on speaker I don't want to shout all throughout."

"Boss, this isn't really a good time **-**"

"Just put me on speaker!" Chōji roared. Naruto obeyed begrudgingly. It just wasn't the time to talk to his boss but he had never actually heard his boss this distressed and incessant, not even during rush hour. Thus, Naruto had relented.

"Sasuke is back, Naruto," Chōji declared to his unseen audience.

"What did you **-**" Naruto interrupted.

"Quiet," Itachi ordered sharply.

"I saw him two nights ago. He came by the restaurant looking for Naruto. At first I didn't believe him when he said he was Sasuke. 'Cause he looked different than I remembered him but I haven't seen him that much either after Naruto got his own place. So I asked Sasuke what was his favourite order for identification and when he answered correctly, I sat him on a chair and fed him. He was quite against it and was set to get going, but I didn't let him. He was too thin for my taste or anyone's. When I asked him where I can find him, so I could visit him and feed him more, he told me he planned to stay with Naruto from then on. So when he finished eating and just as I had promised, I gave him the address of O'Delifod. I was going to call Naruto but he said he wanted to surprise him. Didn't you see him at all, Naruto?"

"Say, how did he look like?" Naruto asked, tensed and with a sense of foreboding. His mind was already flashing him the moments he had with the emaciated man at his party.

"Thin, pale, curly hair, baggy clothes. He looked like a skeleton wearing a wig and borrowed clothes basically."

Immediately, Naruto left and quickly raced to his closet and searched for his black peace signed shirt. He flipped and shoved each hanger and clothing he owned carelessly until his closet was a mess. But the shirt was nowhere to be seen. "It's gone," he said, his voice strained. At this revelation, he felt his heart slammed and gave in, bursting wide open. In helplessness, in sorrow or in happiness, he wasn't sure. But he felt weak and cold and somewhere inside his chest, it hurt a damn lot.

"What's gone?" Kakashi asked as he ran into Naruto's room.

"My shirt," Naruto answered weakly, sweat starting to gather on his forehead and upper lip.

"You're thinking about your shirt at a time like this? Just –"

"He was wearing my shirt, Kakashi!" Naruto snapped angrily as he spun around to face his adoptive brother. "He was the one who broke into my house! It was his dirty clothes. It was him who ate my sandwich. And he…," he trailed as his anger suddenly ebbed. He took in a deep shaky breath as he slumped to the floor and hung his head in confusion. "He left me a rose. Damn it, he even made origami. Just what **–** fuck."

He puffed out hot breaths, trying to slow his suddenly accelerating heart rate. He raked a hand through his hair then half embraced his self as if trying to comfort himself as he couldn't make heads with what he was feeling and it was making him restless and edgy.

"The bloody fucker, where is he?" he asked irritably towards his brother. "I saw him that night and I didn't even know it was him. I was going to talk to him but Julie came and when I looked back he was gone. I even thought he was a gate crasher, some sort of pitiful man that happened into the restaurant. And you, you just instantly knew it was him. And I was looking at him, face to face for more than fifteen seconds. Fuck it all! Fuck! Fuck, I clearly believed I could pinpoint him against a sea of faces. You'd think I should have recognized him because he's all I see every time I close my eyes."

To add to his growing irritation, everything his body was doing was making him grow crazy. He slammed his closet door in intense frustration, his fingers tingling at the impact. He suddenly couldn't breathe easily. "Just… just what is wrong with me?" he asked panicky and wheezing. He hazily saw Kakashi start to move his lips from the corner of his eyes but he couldn't know more than that because the next moment everything turned into black.

**#**

"Sasuke, I **-** I brought you coffee with cocoa." Naruto announced nervously as he stepped into studio. He moved towards the only other occupant of the room and handed one of the steaming mugs to the bespectacled man.

"Have I told you that I love you, Naruto?" the man said as he turned from his drafts and grabbed the mug. Naruto blushed lightly at his question and quickly covered it by taking a big long gulp from his mug. When he thought he wasn't blushing anymore, he answered as even as he could muster, "Yeah, lots of times." He nearly patted himself that his answer sounded very nonchalant before shaking his head against the idea.

He turned to the glass windows and pressed his forehead against it. It was somehow refreshingly cold, a welcome reprieve. He traced one trail of rain flowing on the other side of the glass as he looked towards the architect out of the corner of his eyes.

"Is something wrong, Naruto?"

"Hmm…," Naruto answered vaguely as he moved farther away into the room. He needed time to think about this grim decision. His heart hammered achingly as he stared towards the littered canvases on the floor. He didn't want to do this per se but something inside him was getting out of hand. He valued Sasuke too much to lose him and he certainly didn't want to risk it. Besides, he already paid for the first three months so, he couldn't back out now. And Sasuke needed to know, _now_. Naruto sighed as he traced one of the paintings. Just what he would have to give to stay here infinitely, he wondered. He was going to miss this. He was going to miss all of this.

"Sasuke," he said as he moved back towards the working man hunched on the drawing table. "We need to talk."

"Hmm… What about?" Sasuke inquired as he labelled his drawing.

"Sasuke," Naruto started, his tone nothing but edgy. Afraid to slip and break the mug with his nervous hands, he placed it down on one of the scattered and unoccupied stools. "I'm moving out," he stated, looking apprehensively at the hunched figure. Sasuke instantly stopped drawing and slowly looked up. "When?" he asked quietly.

Naruto hadn't expected that to be his first question. "Three days."

"You already found another place," Sasuke stated as he continued drawing.

Naruto drew his eyes downward, embarrassed at the accurate statement. He hadn't discussed the matter with Sasuke before looking for a place. Not that his new place was actually faraway. It's just in the next town, a couple minutes away. The point was he wasn't living with Sasuke and there was an actual large distance between them. "It's a house in Bellford," he informed. In nervousness and embarrassment, he grasped his elbow from his back and bit his lower lip.

Sasuke didn't reply to the statement. Naruto knew he must have hurt Sasuke. But then again he really couldn't discuss it with Sasuke because he knew Sasuke was going to question him and then Sasuke would find out that he was getting attracted to him, that he was starting to see him in a different light and that he was learning to love him in a different way. Was the attraction because they had been living together for three months, he didn't know. Nevertheless, what he was sure was he needed to get away from him to save their friendship. He needed to hide **-** to nip **-** crush his emotions so that he could look at Sasuke straight in the face. They were friends, close friends and practically brothers in some sense. He couldn't let their relationship turn sour or worse, gone. His attraction **–** infatuation was not a priority over his actual relationship with Sasuke. No, Sasuke just was too important.

After a few moments, when he felt Sasuke wasn't ever going to question him 'Why?', he forlornly moved towards the door. However upon reaching the door, Sasuke spoke, "Do you need my help moving?"

"Ah, no need. Shikamaru's helping me move. Besides, you have work that day," Naruto answered before leaving and shutting the door.

**#**

"I'm sorry Julie," Naruto said, his tone detached at the final decision. He turned his phone off and left it on the side table. He didn't want to see her tonight or any other night, so he broke everything off by phone. As much as he didn't like how he was treating her, his mind was just too occupied with Sasuke.

Those midnight eyes, those sunken midnight eyes of that ghostly face. He traced a finger on Sasuke's picture as if the caress would reach him. He had gotten it from his restaurant's video camera. As it turned out, Sasuke had been standing and looking at him for a while. He looked happy to see him and Naruto's heart warmed at that. "Did you really mean to stay with me?" he asked the frozen man, his own voice quivering.

_Silence._ The sheet of picture couldn't answer him. It just stood between his fingers carrying his one desire, frozen in frame; malnourished and beaten.

Naruto caressed the pale face, imagining him just before his eyes. The hair, the nose, the cheeks, the jaw and the lips. But the vision slowly faded as warm liquid filled the front of his eyes. "Then why aren't you here?"

A tear slipped and splatted on the piece of coated paper. Soon enough, a number of tears joined after. He brushed it away, caressing the printed man before brushing away and stopping his flowing tears.

"Where are you?" he asked the man in the picture, demanding answers of questions he had long wanted to be answered. "I'm so damn pitiful." Tears started flowing again from his puffy and reddened eyes. Just how much more could he cry? Just how much was he willing to cry?

'_Is there a way I can find you?'_ he wondered with a despairing breath as he tucked his head between his knees and his body racked with his continued anguish. He had been harbouring this gnawing, consuming love. As much as he tried to douse it over the years, it would only fire and leap up. He didn't know what to do with it, except wait and wait and hope and hope, continuously, endlessly. "I just want you close to me, again."

His heart throbbed painfully. How many days had passed without him? How many more would go by without him? "I don't know where you are so, come back. Sasuke, come back." He cried and cried throughout the night, pleading and pleading, until his eyes grew tired and could no longer take it, shutting and leaving him inside a dreamless night.

Soon enough, the morning came and lying underneath its veil of warmth was an awakened resolute blond. He couldn't take another day wasted in grieving and moping, he had a restaurant to run. And it had been nearly a fortnight already. So though hard and heavy on his heart, he tucked the photo inside the highest cupboard, in a safe box together with all the memorabilia he had of Sasuke. The only remaining out in the open was the rose sitting by the kitchen window.

_What do you mean by this rose, Sasuke__?_

Though the thought of receiving a sign of passion and love filled his heart instantly to a brim, he couldn't let himself accept that sort of romantic notion. There was absolutely no reason why Sasuke would do that sort of thing. He sighed forlornly, a heavier weight dropping inside his chest. He fondled the soft petals. _Is this some sign I should know, Sasuke?_He bit his lips to compose himself and stop the onset of his tears. He huffed out a few breaths to even his swelling wave of sorrow.

"Why come back when you're going to leave again?" he whimpered, finally letting the hot trails of tears to flow down his tanned cheeks. "I've been doing great without you." That statement was a lie. He had been pretending, living a half reality for years. He didn't feel great in any sense, not even when he opened his restaurant. "Why do you appear and everything just go down the drain?"

"Why now when I'm finally starting to learn to let you go and stop hoping?" he whimpered, palming his face in distress. It was indeed a cruel turn of fate. "You appear and I'm **–** I'm just a mess." No matter how deep the pit he buried him, no matter how high walls he had erected, no matter how strong and tensile his fortress was, all those had come crumbling down and now lay in ruin, leaving only a midnight blue man standing amidst it all.

"You think I'm that easy? Well, I'm not. I'm strong and I don't need you!" In his rage, he had smashed the pot to the floor. He stared at the messy mound earth and plant before he angrily stormed out of his house.

Driven with regret, he came back two hours after and replanted the rose in his yard. However as he was watering it, he became overwhelmed with annoyance as to why he was doing all of it. He threw the watering can at the flower and stomped on it, breaking the stem into two.

Nonetheless by the time Kakashi came in the evening, Naruto was busy apologizing and trying to repair the flower. Even getting pricked by the thorns with his inadequate gloves, he bandaged the broken stem with splinters and tape. When it looked pretty patched up, he apologized one more time for taking his anger on it. The rose wasn't Sasuke and no matter how stormy his emotions for the architect were, the rose wasn't at fault.

Even so before the week was out, the plant had turned brown and wilted. Naruto crushed the faded bloom, furious that even after all he did to keep it alive, it died. It died, the only flower he received from the midnight blue architect. It died, the ungrateful red rose. It died and left him just like Sasuke.

…_Here am I, yet another goodbye._

…_Now you know why he's a reason to sigh._

…_Adios, goodbye._

…


	3. II

**Sweet Dreams (Of Wishes & Temptations)**

It is impossible to find someone who won't hurt you. So, go for the one who is worth the pain.

…

_Ting Kling_! A black-haired woman entered.

"Welcome to Supineru San Bake Shop," was the automatic greeting of the three employees as they heard the ringing bell.

The woman smiled warmly at the greeting and moved towards the shelf of sourdough breads where the only employee without a crowd or a customer about was rearranging the display. She tugged the sleeve of the employee. "Sasu-chan. It's me," she said as she tipped her sunglasses off slightly before putting it back in place.

Upon hearing her voice, Sasuke paled a little as his mind poured out a string of grim '_Oh no, no, no.'_He quickly glanced behind her and around the shop, ready to pull her just in case. He wasn't exactly in the mood to fend off frantic fans or be caught in the middle of it. He shuddered at the memory of the last one, just two weeks ago. He cleared his throat before he greeted her, "It's nice to see you Sakura-san."

She frowned at him. She had been reminding him to drop the honorific. It was making her old which was ironic because he was two years older than her. "Sasu-chan, what did I say-"

"What are you doing here?" he interrupted as professionally as he could. Though he really had no right to ask her that, since she was practically married to his boss but she didn't understand the complexity of the employer and employee etiquette and he didn't want to have the same lengthy discussion every time they see each other. He just wished she would drop the childish honorific of his shortened name. It certainly didn't sound like him at all. It didn't even sound manly!

"Mou, Sasu-chan," she grumbled. "I was extra, extra careful this time." She took a quick glance around before continuing quite proudly, "See? No one has followed me." She was right on that mark, not one rabid fan of her modelling career was to be seen. But that didn't entirely mean no roving eyes had been following her since she entered the shop. The guy by the cake display was looking rather intently at her back, as was the guy on the cashier line. The woman was utterly dense in that respect. She certainly should have known better than to dress up so fashionably. It defeats the purpose of blending in with the non-famous people and non-fashionable common people.

"Seriously Sasu-chan stop looking around. You're making me paranoid and people might notice something if you're acting weird," the famous model chastised.

He scoffed at the idea. She was doing a fine job at that already. He was just being alert. He glanced at the wall clock by the cashier. 'Two-fifty six,' that was more than enough time to make her go away before rush hour or at least persuade her to hide at the back and not help with seeing to the bake shop. The customers kept on instantly gravitating towards her. And it always turned into a mess of people.

"Sasu-chan? Sasu-chan!" she hissed. "You're not listening to me." He was caught. He gave a small apologetic smile as he asked, "What were you saying?"

"Syaoran? Where is he?"

'_Of course! Her lover, his employer. What else could she be doing here if not for him?'_ he thought.

Syaoran Li, the twenty-five year old pâtissier responsible for all of the sweet pastries and cake in the shop. It was often a wonder why Sasuke, a man who didn't like sweets, had applied in the bake shop. 'I like bread,' that had been his answer when asked. But that wasn't the reason, his main reason for wanting the job.

"At the back making bread," he answered at last as he added in his mind, '_Where else would the boss be?'_ He glanced at the wall clock again. "And in a minute he'll be out."

Sakura nodded at him, combing the stray hair of her black wig. "How do I look? It's a bit hot today isn't it?" she asked as she fanned herself.

Sasuke shook his head. She must be getting daft. Sweat was rolling in heaps on her face and neck. "Your wig," he said pointedly as he took out a hanky from the inside of his apron.

"Must be it. Ah well, little sacrifices," she said as she accepted the hanky. She quickly wiped her nose, cheeks and neck. "How do I look now?"

'_How could she completely miss her forehead?'_ he thought before letting the matter drop. Instead of answering, he took the hanky and dabbed her forehead for her. Suddenly, there was a sound of a swish followed by a thud, the sound of the swinging doors signalling the entrance of his boss into the shop.

"Sasuke," Syaoran spoke, his tone even and his carmine eyes directed at the woman. His expression was not hinting any emotion but serenity. _Hell_, no one needed any change of voice or expression from the young pâtissier regarding his love interest for how many years? _Oh wait_, just since primary school only. And that would be sixteen years give or take. He was easily jealous. Sasuke would be too, if he saw Naruto in the same scene.

_Ah shit,_ that brought a small pang in his chest. He let out a soft sigh. He seriously needed a break from caring for that blond who just **–** no, he needed to settle down his boss first. He swiftly turned to his boss, his hand still frozen up and ready to explain that there was nothing to be rattled about. But he wasn't given a chance as Syaoran had taken the hanky and was wiping Sakura's sweat.

"Syaoran?" the model began. "How did you know it was me?"

Sasuke wondered the same thing as he moved away from the couple and resume arranging the other displays.

"How can I possibly miss the legs that I see every day," the pâtissier muttered. "Hmm… How can I not? When those legs squeezed my waist so tight…"

Sasuke heated lightly and decided to entirely block the couple's private conversation from his mind. He didn't need any information from the two other than Syaoran was his boss and Sakura was his.

He had thirty more minutes till his off time and focused at the breads on his hands. '_Strawberry, cream, chocolate, strawberry, cream, chocolate_.' He repeated and repeated till his dirty mind clicked and the flavours didn't seem to be so innocent anymore. He chided himself in thinking as such. He really liked bread, soft bread with meat and lots of vegetables, not fruits and sweets. He sighed and was shocked when a hand clamped on his shoulder. He went in autopilot as his instincts took over. He almost choked his boss as he grappled his neck. _Doesn't Syaoran ever learn not to surprise him?_

He scowled at the gasping pâtissier. "I'm going to lose my job if you keep doing that," he accused his boss as he glanced around to take note if anyone had seen the small stunt. The two other employees were already very wary of him and he didn't want them spreading more rumours about him. The pitiful ghetto kid story was bad enough. And not to leave out the sympathetic looks they had been giving to him when they thought he wasn't noticing. Clearly, he didn't need to add more fire. Takashi Yamazaki, one of the patrons, was already hinting he might have schizophrenia. _The bloody speculators._

"You didn't tell her did you?" Syaoran inquired as soon as his coughing and gasping passed.

"Why did you even entrust the ring to me if you didn't trust me?" Sasuke pointed out.

"I was just checking," Syaoran reasoned. "She has radar for that stuff."

It was true. Couples, partners, significant others had radar for those major stuff.

"It's in a safe place," Sasuke reassured. "You don't need it now do you? Because I didn't bring it with me." He didn't like parading around work with a valuable ring on his possession, not that he can't replace it. But the main point was it wasn't even his. He was even wary when Syaoran gave it to him last week but his boss reasoned that their close friends might suddenly blurt out to Sakura that he intends to propose to her. That last fact wasn't surprising. Syaoran and Sakura had feelings for each other for so long as relayed by the people who knew the two very well. What was on Sasuke's mind during that day was '_What made him decide to propose?_'

"Ah, no, no," Syaoran whispered. "Just remember the tenth, Monday, Sasuke," he reminded him before leaving.

Sasuke went back to rearranging. He was really envious of them, of all the couples in love who was around his life. He wanted to be like that also but that wasn't very likely going to happen.

_Why does it have to be him? Of all the people in the world why do I have to harbour deep feelings for a breast lover guy?_ Even though he asked those questions he couldn't help muttering under his breath, "Well, why couldn't it be Naruto?"

'If you were a girl, I would be kissing you right now,' Naruto had admitted as he smiled to Sasuke. 'You would probably be my girl-friend to,' he added. That bitter moment was four years ago and Sasuke inwardly cursed that haunting memory. Was it his fault he was borne a guy? _Stupid Naruto._ Maybe it was Naruto's fault they couldn't be together. Naruto should have been borne a female or better yet, liked dicks than breasts. Sasuke had no qualms being with men. Naruto was just picky, and stubborn, and narrow minded. Why couldn't he understand that he loved him?

It was hard keeping his unrequited love. Harder when the said love was changing partners every two or so weeks, that much at least he knew. Just how much can his heart tolerate? Just how much can this love turn a blind eye to? Just how much was he willing to endure and love?

But Sasuke did it. Every two months he'd compile the entertainment columns and during one Sunday, he'd read it all. Yes, read and every single article about Naruto he'd stomach. All of it, to the tiniest dirty and stupidest fact about the affair he would know. Even as his face would turn into loathing, his heart just couldn't help but lurch at the image of Naruto smiling… in another's arms.

He often wondered what his life would have been had he not accepted being an undercover agent. Would he have to move to another country just to evade Naruto's parade of lovers? It was all very confusing thinking about the what-ifs. A lot of regrets came to his mind which always left him feeling low.

If he didn't leave three years ago, he would have meet Itachi's wife. He would have attended Gaara and Neji's wedding and Itachi's. He would have welcomed his blood related and not blood related nieces and nephews to the world. He would have doted on them. And if he hadn't left, he would have seen his company became famous. Not yet a household name but getting there. That he owed to his substitute acting president and cousin and genius engineer, Hotaru Nogi née Imai. He dumped most of his legal declarations and his box of videos on her responsibility.

He knew what he would have missed and he knew there was a large possibility he would die ever since the last week of December, two months before he left. That's why he prepared them videos. He left them videos in case Gaara and Neji got married, in case Itachi got married, in case Kakashi got married and in case… Naruto got married. There was also a video for Itachi's future partner. There was another video for his uncle Madara, too, to thank him for all his trouble in taking care of him and Itachi.

He certainly missed his family and friends that three years he was gone but he didn't regret the new ones he found.

"SASU-CHAN!"

Startled, Sasuke quickly was in defensive position. Sakura frowned disapprovingly at him in return, with her cheeks puffed out for being even considered an enemy. "What's wrong Sasu-chan? I've been calling your name more than ten times."

He relaxed, it was just Sakura. So much for being an alert person, he didn't mean to be so drawn in his musings. "Memory lane," he muttered before he could stop himself.

Sakura's minty green eyes quickly watered and before he could protest she was draped in his chest, crying her eyes out.

"Sasu-chan, you needn't **-**_ sniff _**-** worry about those **- **_sniff _**-** things anymore. You're safe **-** _sniff _**-** here." Obviously, she had heard the rumours and now she was crying for the wrong reasons and he needed to make her stop. The other customers were looking and Syaoran would definitely be jealous. But how do you stop a crying Sakura? His brow gave a twitch at the daunting course of action. _Sweet young_**-**

"Sakura."

Speak of the devil. Sasuke just implored Syaoran to help him out. He wanted to get away, fast and now.

"Sakura let go of Sasuke," Syaoran ordered calmly to his sympathetic and caring and nearly soon to be fiancée.

"But **-** _sniff_**-** Syaoran-"

"Take a step back Sakura."

"But Syaoran **-** _sniff_ **-** you don't understand."

"Then make me understand. Take a step back Sakura." Sakura yielded as she snivelled and took a step back. Syaoran quickly enveloped her with his arms as she tucked her head under his chin and continued crying.

Sasuke didn't wait for the explanation and quickly left the two and went to the back. It was already three-thirty-three, he could go. He took off his apron, bandana, and cap then grabbed his rucksack from his locker and a brown bag of pastries from the counter with the label 'Morino' then clocked out and swiped his identification card as he finally went out.

**#**

'_Just what's with me today? Maybe I should stay away from the shop,_' Sasuke thought as he turned off his bike and secured it to one of the bike posts. He quickly ran the two blocks to the Morino Detective Agency as the drizzle quickly turned to pouring rain. He shook his damp head as he went up the metal stairs and took his keys before opening the door as quietly as he could. The door was old and sometimes creaking. He didn't want to disrupt his boss, Ibiki Morino, if he had a client in his office. '_Morino should really renovate his place,'_ he thought as he carefully closed it and hearing an almost inaudible creak.

He went to the kitchen and dutifully transferred the pastries onto a plate. It was only three-fifty; he had time for a quick warm coffee. He quickly made a cup for himself to chase away the cold that was seeping quickly into him.

"Got caught in the rain?" his boss questioned though the answer could be plainly seen.

Sasuke didn't bother answering and just gestured for the waiting pastries on the table. "Ah curry. It has been a long time since I had one," Ibiki said before taking a bite off the curry bread.

Sasuke didn't understand the reason why it was a requirement for him to bring his boss three pastries when coming to work but he didn't dare ask. Ibiki was such an imposing figure aside from the visible scars on his face. But Sasuke knew the older man's appearance was part of the job. And scars, the scars were the souvenirs from their previous jobs. Sasuke knew Ibiki and him were somewhat alike. They had a past life that was meant to be hidden. Not that Ibiki had been a Scout like him. He was more than that, Sasuke was sure. Ibiki had been a Hunter; he definitely looked the part anyways. Though as to why he was out here in Crownedale playing Finder and Shadow, he didn't know. And as to how he got out of radar from the Ministry and living peacefully, Sasuke also didn't know. Hunters were extremely invaluable pawns of the Ministry of Defence; they wouldn't just let one Hunter get away from their claws.

"Nothing interesting happened?" Ibiki asked after finishing one pastry.

Sasuke shrugged. Ibiki was like that, asking how his day had been; a semi-parent figure of sorts. But Sasuke had a set of nice parents already, even though they were dead for seventeen years. He had aunts and uncles as replacement when that happened. Yeah, and they died. Only uncle Maddie remained. _The tough old tree._Sasuke rinsed his mug and left Ibiki with his pastries. He had a lot of files to organize and pull out.

**#**

As the clock rang eighteen times, Sasuke stretched his back and limbs. He had just finished the first half of the files to be organized. But even after that, he wasn't finished with his work yet. He still had the list of files to be pulled out. He once wondered why Ibiki didn't computerise his files but countered that electronic files were easier to steal. However, both were still easily destroyed.

He yawned a little and went to the kitchen for another cup of coffee and a cold sandwich. He was glad tomorrow was Saturday which meant he would be working at his office at Arkhitektonfrom nine to five.

He remembered clearly the expressions of his employees when he arrived together with Hotaru last April. There were a lot of new faces and he welcomed them. And the familiar ones welcomed him back. Kurenai Mori, his secretary, had burst into tears as her motherly instincts kicked in. And Asuma Sarutobi, one of the guards, had tried to hug him but got tackled. That had been a time. Sasuke still had a bit of difficult time reigning in his ingrained instincts. Well, he had relied on it for almost three years non-stop.

Hotaru even shot him with a boxing glove gun after he unwittingly almost choked her when she hugged him from behind. That had their first and only hug.

'_I must be getting old_,' he thought dryly. He kept on reminiscing today.

As he was eating his second sandwich, he heard shuffling of shoes out on the hallway, signalling Ibiki ushering his client out.

"What are you doing?" Ibiki asked alarmingly.

"I'm jumping to conclusions."

"Sir, I must ask you to put the gun away."

_A gun_? Sasuke stiffened and strained his ears at the conversation. His whole body ready and alert if the need arise.

"You must not shoot your wife. You will bungle the job. Your hand will tremble. At best, you will shoot her by the leg or shoulder. Then you will take her to the hospital. She will meet a very attractive doctor," Ibiki rambled.

"I will not shoot my wife," the client retorted. "I love my wife."

"Well then you must not shoot yourself."

"Nonsense. I won't shoot myself. I haven't done anything."

"Quite true," Ibiki agreed.

"You say they meet at suite 714?" the client asked.

"Exactly."

"And the gipsy musicians leave at ten o'clock?

"Exactly."

"Then at ten o'clock I shall walk into suite 714 and shoot."

"The other guy?" Ibiki inquired astutely. After a small pause, he continued speaking, "You do realize this is cold blooded murder and that you may have to spend years in jail?"

"I do."

"Is there nothing I can say to dissuade you from this foolhardy scheme?" Ibiki tried again.

"Nothing what so ever," the client said in a very determined tone.

"In that case you leave me no choice. I must insist on being paid as of right now."

Sasuke tried to contain his laughter. _The old gaffer_. All he could ever think about was money. Well, most of the time anyways and especially at a time like this!

"Oh, how much?"

"Six thousand silver."

_Creak_, the sound of the door being opened.

"Good bye, Detective," the client said.

"Good luck," Ibiki replied. _Creak and click_, the door was shut once more.

"Ah you're taking a break?" Ibiki asked as he entered the kitchen. Sasuke took a sip of his coffee and didn't answer. He was very used to his boss' questions with obvious answers. Likewise, after three months of working together Ibiki was used to Sasuke's silence and shrugs and grunts and scowls. He could as well be mute. 'The child doesn't understand the gift of speech,' Ibiki had teased, in his usual serious tone, only to receive a withering glare from the said child.

"You heard us?"

Sasuke curved a brow upwards as a smug smile crept up.

Ibiki nodded briskly as he said, "Good. See me before you leave, alright?"

Sasuke looked curiously at him as he gave an affirmative nod before gulping the remains of his coffee and getting back to his work. It was ten minutes past eight o'clock when he finished. He carried the last files to Ibiki's side desk. "I'm off," he shouted to the house slash office. Ibiki wasn't in the office and Sasuke wasn't in the mood to open all the doors and look for him. He grabbed his rucksack and went to the door.

"Sasuke, I said see me," Ibiki said out of nowhere, freezing Sasuke in his departure. Sasuke respectfully turned to face his boss. His eyes glaring as if saying, '_Now you've seen me. Can I go?'_

"I wanted to talk about what you heard earlier."

Sasuke shifted his weight between his feet, feeling uncomfortable at his hypothesised would be topic. He wasn't a blabber mouth. _Do I really look like one?'_ he asked himself before asking out loud, "What about it?"

"I think I should let you know someone is going to die tonight."

Sasuke nodded and answered dully, "Yeah, I heard." Was that the reason he wasn't let go yet? He wasn't deaf and everyday people die, so what was there to discuss about?

Ibiki raised an eyebrow at his ease of reply and tone. "Aren't you even interested?"

"To tell you the truth, not really," Sasuke admitted impatiently. He wanted to sleep. "But since you seem intent on badgering me, why don't you just say what you have to say?"

Not insulted at all by the rude order, Ibiki held out a high necked black dress with lace long sleeves and upon which Sasuke gave a considerable glare. "Consider this as me being a good and helpful citizen. So, try not to destroy this. I just borrowed it and it costs three thousand silver."

"And why would I want to destroy a pricey piece of lace?"

"Because you'll be wearing it tonight," Ibiki enlightened him before giving an eerie smile.

Both of Sasuke's brows twitched angrily at the statement despite the creepy expression on his boss. His boss must be certainly getting dumber and dumber as the days passed. "And why in hell would I be wearing a dress tonight?" He really wanted to chop the man right now. Did he look like a fucking cross-dresser?

"Because at ten o'clock in the Royal Hotel suite number 714, Mister Rutheford will shoot a certain golden boy identified as Naruto Namikaze," Ibiki informed dully as he flashed him a set of dim pictures of Naruto with a vaguely concealed partner and of a woman dressed in black and almost completely hidden behind a veil.

Ibiki's words got Sasuke. But it was the pictures that stilled him as heartache and dread quickly filled his being. Though jealousy raged inside him, he wasted no further time and grabbed the dress and ran to his motor bike.

_That bloody moron! Didn't he knew it was only time when he get bitten back by karma?_ Even though he should be happy that the idiot was getting payback, his heart was screaming, _'Save him, save him!_' He turned on his ignition and drove towards the fluorescent filled Downtown and let out a string of curses when he got stuck in the late night traffic.

**#**

'_What's wrong with you Naruto?_' Sasuke asked in his mind even though he knew already that Naruto was the ladies' man ever since they had reunited after ten years, four years ago. _Hell, how could fate be cruel? How could Naruto not see that he is mine? Mine to love, mine to keep, mine to care, mine to cry for!_ He had hoped for Naruto to realize that he loved him while he was gone. He had hoped he'd be missed so badly; that all Naruto would think was him, just like he did.

He even tried to forget him at one point but his heart won't let him. No, he won't let himself forget. And so, for two years and three quarters he had endured the cruel strings of his maddening job all because the thought of being together with him the next day gave him strength to move forward. He'd envisioned it many times that it was already ingrained into his memory, craving hungrily for it day and night, the only thread of his sanity. With days on end, he ceaselessly nurtured his bottomless thirst of love and touch.

Therefore, he tried his damnedest to stay alive. He was nearly in tears when he finally got out of his temporary work and he had lived. He hadn't really expected to be alive then, not after all that had happened.

After what seemed like an eternity, he was brimming in happiness. He was out in the open and finally returning home, to his only dream, bearer of hope and reason of living. Like a man forsaken on a maddening barren Desert Island, hopeless to ever leave, desolate in company and wildly parched with loneliness, he was utmost thankful and gravely indebted to ever be set free. Words couldn't even begin to describe exactly what he felt right then. But he knew, he couldn't wait and was undeniably excited to see those metallic blue eyes at last and once again.

It was October of last year. There was an early birthday party thrown for Naruto at his newly opened restaurant. Sasuke thought it was perfect, that they'd be meeting on his birthday party. It was Sasuke's perfect gift to him.

_Fuck_, he was such a romantic at heart.

He didn't see anyone from the crowd, only Naruto. He'd been searching and waiting for him and now that Naruto was in front of him, he was overflowing with joy. He watched him mingle and be greeted and when he couldn't contain it anymore he called out to Naruto from behind. "Naruto."

Naruto's eyes had passed his many times as the searching metallic blue eyes scanned around the crowd. Eventually the blue and the black locked together, twice, though only for a few seconds as a busty woman finally turned his head away. It was crystal clear in Naruto's gaze that there was no speck of recognition of Sasuke at all. It felt all wrong; those metallic blue eyes were seeing him but not really him, just another stranger.

Sasuke's chest gave a sharp twinge and his mood instantly dampened. Had Naruto forgotten about him? Wasn't he at least remembered or missed? Had he been gone for so long that his image – memory was already thrown into the bin of his mind? Didn't he remember him?

…_Don't understand why you don't belong in my arms._

"Naruto, sweetie, happy birthday!" The busty woman greeted before kissing the blond on the lips and entwining their hands together. "Let's go and blow out your cake." All that while, Naruto was smiling sweetly at her like she was his world, his air, his love.

Suddenly, the air was suffocating and cold. That short, short scene had hit Sasuke through and through. His heart prickled with impalpable sorrow; the intense pain that surged felt like a million icicles, mercilessly digging deeper and crushing him. He had hoped for too much. He felt lost among the celebration and unwanted like a puzzle piece trying to fit into another picture.

…_Now I can't spend my life standing by._

He dared not look anymore. He didn't want another memory of Naruto in the arms of another and quickly turned away and left. He didn't want it. All he wanted was of him and Naruto, no one else. He wanted to shout at him. Oh, hell, he wanted to kiss him that day! He wanted him to welcome him back. Just a simple welcome home would have sufficed for him. _But damn_, it hurt like hell when he saw Naruto with her and the blond couldn't even recognize him, for crying out loud! He felt like – _no_, he was insignificant, a nobody. Not even worth for a drop of care or recognition, just a _bloody_ nobody.

He wanted to tell him, 'Naruto, we belong together' because it was true. They belonged with each other and no one else's. He knew that with all his being. But he didn't, he couldn't tell him. He wanted for Naruto to realize it by himself. He wanted Naruto to feel the way he felt. And… and he just couldn't bring himself to ruin someone else's relationship - happiness. Naruto's happiness. He was kind that way. He was a martyr that way.

…_It's funny how my heart just won't let it go. I just don't understand._

He wanted to be far, far away from all of them. Almost stumbling and bumping, he left and ran once he was outside. So, he ran and ran going nowhere. He didn't even know where he was going. As long as he was far away, it didn't matter to him. His reason of living was lost to him; Naruto never even belonged to him. He didn't even have a chance in the first place. After all this time… after all this time he had been a fool. A big, big fool. He was a fool of meaningless shit. He was a laughingstock.

When he couldn't tolerate the smarting of his exhausted and acid filled legs, he walked. He walked and walked until he reached a small bridge over a river. Right at that moment, his whole being just felt very tired, not just from physical exertion but also emotionally, and mentally. He was just drained… of everything.

After all he had done, all he wanted was just for his happy ending. He had psyched himself to dream and to hope that tomorrow, they'd be together. Was it his fault that he used Naruto as his flare of hope and life? Was it his fault he loved the blond to bits? Was it his fault for wanting the blond to feel the same way? Was it wrong to think Naruto as the love of his life?

_Was it too much_?

Or was he just… unlovable?

_I just wished there was chance for you and me. I just wished… Damn it, I just wished Naruto…_

_Love me! Damn it!_

Wave after wave of intense emotion flooded through his veins. Was this how it felt like to be completely heartbroken? He couldn't take it. He wanted for all the feelings to go away. He wanted apathy!

He stood over the concrete ledge and felt the winds beating around him, encouraging him or pushing away he didn't know. It didn't matter because he just lost everything, the single man who had been his everything – held his everything. He closed his eyes and hoped his life until this point wasn't such a waste.

What was the point of loving when all it brought was heartache? Was all of it for naught?

_Fuck,_ he even left a potted rose.

…_And I still cry for you._

_Fuck_, he even made two fucking origami. _Fuck, fuck_, he even told he was going to stay.

…_And I still long for you._

_Fuck it all_. He wanted it all to end. His life was all fucked up. He badly wanted to end his longing, his suffering. He edged slightly off the bridge and yelled out to the night like a madman, a broken madman. He yelled as long as he could. He yelled every hurt he ever felt. He yelled all the mean expletives he ever knew. He let it all out, barely even noticing the onslaught of his tears pouring down and carried by the wind. He yelled until he didn't have any more words.

…'_Cause even when I miss you, you're still not missing me_

Why can't Naruto just love him? _I really don't understand it._

He looked at the expanse of the river. Just a knock of wind and he'll be underwater. His heart hammered as he thought about drowning and never coming back. It didn't seem so bad at all.

He let out a breath as he felt his knees give in and he went falling down the river. He was egoistic like that.

He smiled twistedly at his luck. _At last, farewell, farewell._

He didn't bother breathing. He wanted to escape his crappy life and be in the comfort of his mother's loving arms. He missed his parents. Itachi would probably curse him for considering this stupid moment. But he couldn't help it; he didn't have any will to continue anymore, it was already taken – lost from him. He didn't have his heart anymore; it broke down into two and into a million pieces, irreparable beyond all hope and science.

_Mama! Papa! Take me with you!_

His world was filled with a kaleidoscope of colours but that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted his mother, his father. He wanted their warmth, their guidance, their love. _Damn it_, he needed them. He wanted to curl between them and hear their comforting words, 'It'll be alright, Sasuke. We love you, son. We love you.'

_Mama! Papa! I'll be with you soon_.

He knew they were just beyond his reach and he ran as fast as he could. '_Mama! Papa!_' he cried out in his mind, reaching out for something unseen and beyond him then his world turned black.

Fate was indeed cruel. She wouldn't even let him die. How many times had he cheated death?

More than four times it seemed. He'd be damned if Naruto died now and he didn't, even though he wanted that last time. He quickly parked his motorbike and chained it to a biker's pole. He grabbed his rucksack and went inside the traditional Royal Hotel. He got inside the lift and pressed seven.

_Ding_! The elevator chimed for the third floor, a group of youngsters got off.

_Ding_! The elevator chimed for the fourth floor, a trio of ladies got off.

_Ding_! The elevator chimed for the fifth floor, an elderly couple got off.

_Ding_! The elevator chimed for the seventh floor, Sasuke got off.

As he rounded the bend, he saw a man heavily pacing in front of room 714. He quickly retreated and thanked the universe that he hadn't arrived too late. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw room 712 with its key still in place. He glanced at the would-be-killer before rushing to 712 and entering it. He didn't linger by the door and quickly went to the balcony.

Again, thanking every imaginable being in the universe that he wasn't afraid of heights, he got over the balustrade and stepped on the small protruding edge off the wall that looked quite like a narrow walkaway. Fortunately, it connects the balconies. _What were the odds_? He got on the balcony of room 713 then got off on the opposite side and stepped back on the small walkway.

From here, he could already hear the smooth cadence of the Fascination Waltz. A flash of Naruto dancing with him quickly passed his mind before it was trampled on by another picture, Naruto with the woman in black.

Reminded by his purpose, he got over the balustrade and stepped onto the balcony of room 714. This was it. They were going to meet once more. He slowly inched towards the partly unlocked balcony doors and took a peek inside. His heart ached at the sight of those yellow locks. It contrasted finely against Naruto's light tan and white dress coat.

With closed eyes, Naruto adroitly swayed in tune with the waltz. He leaned towards his brunette partner, smelling sweet vanilla beans upon her hair. He inched his hands lower and wrapped his arms around her. Her soft body felt very warm and very nice against his.

Knowing his jealousy metre was shooting upwards, Sasuke opened the doors and stepped inside the dim room. He swept a glance towards the group of musicians that stood by the fireplace. All the while, the dancing Naruto and the married woman on his left were completely oblivious to his arrival.

Sasuke was both glad and infuriated that the woman didn't look familiar to him. She was a brunette with pale skin and a voluptuous body. Sasuke gritted his teeth and marched towards the slow dancing couple. "Naruto," he called out softly.

No response from the couple. _Fucktards__._

"Naruto," he hissed in a tone louder, catching the attention of the brunette as she shifted her eyes to him. Irritated at the woman and the lack of response from the blond and wanting to waste no more time, Sasuke took off his boot and chucked it to Naruto's back.

"What in **-**," Naruto howled as he flinched from the sudden impact. Sasuke mentally cursed himself. He forgot how loud Naruto could be. He quickly covered Naruto's mouth as he whispered, "Shut up. This is urgent."

Naruto's eyes widened at that familiar haunting voice. His metallic blue eyes widened more at the sight of midnight eyes and midnight blue hair. His heart literally momentarily stopped. _S__**- **__S__**- **__Sa__**- **__Sas__**-**__ Sasuke? Oh, shit. Am I… dreaming_?

Getting worried by the unfolding scene, the musicians weren't paying attention to their song and the music dwindled to a soft tune. Noticing the lack of background music, Sasuke immediately gestured for them to continue and louder.

"Are you Missus Rutheford?" Sasuke asked the woman over Naruto's shoulder. She nodded as she went to Naruto's side. "Yes, I am."

_Ah, fuck_. Sasuke really had to use the dress and his eyes nearly crossed with blinding hatred when he saw the pale hand against the tanned arm. He wanted to snarl at the woman and snap her limbs one by one. But he couldn't do that. He had come for a different purpose. He had to save Naruto. Breathing out his frustration and averting his eyes from the object of hostility, he took hold of his self and solely focused on the still dazed Naruto. Sasuke snapped his fingers sharply at him. "Oi, snap out of it. Her husband is just outside the door. Once the song finishes and the gipsies leave, he will come here and shoot you, do you understand?"

Naruto didn't respond to the information as the words weren't registering in his brain. His mind was busy savouring the man before him. He had envisioned Sasuke a million – trillion times before but the fact that the man in front of him was probably _100%_ the real Sasuke stunned him to the very core and thus rendering his mind overloading and working overtime. And hearing that wonderful voice that had haunted him… how long had it been since he heard it? Not from memory, but face to face. Years, it had been years since he had heard that deep silky voice. Oh, how he wished Sasuke would sing for him one day. Maybe, dedicate a love song or two his way. Yes, like the love songs he had sung at the Nogi-Imai nuptials. _Mmm_, Sasuke had been very handsome that night. Hearts and eyes had swooned and followed the midnight architect at every chance, leaving him with no choice but to hide on one of the empty balconies. Not long after, Naruto had found him sitting cross legged with his head leaning on the balustrade. They talked for a while and before he left, Sasuke had asked him for dance. He could remember it all too clearly now, like it all happened yesterday. Their first dance as adults. Their first slow dance… It had been dreamy, every second of it.

"You're useless," Sasuke finally declared and turned to the woman, hoping she didn't have a flighty mind as the other male. "I got here through room 712. You should probably also use that way out unless, you want to encounter your husband outside and a murder scene at your expense. Also, do leave the veil," he instructed as curtly and well-mannered as he could muster. "On the pictures, you had your veil. So, he isn't a hundred per cent sure it's you here with that idiot. But he had the impression it was you. Anyways, you should probably leave now. I'm going to change."

Without even waiting for the woman's word or nod of understanding, he went inside the adjoining bedroom. He quickly discarded his shirt and changed into the dress. After a bit of fumbling, stretching and bending to close the back zipper, he hid his rucksack inside the closet then went back to the sitting room. Upon a quick glance, the woman was nowhere to be seen and Sasuke smiled a little at that tiny fact.

Time seemed so very slow as Naruto stood there in the middle of the room, utterly content to be an audience as the architect went about the suite. His mind couldn't even stop repeating over and over again, '_Sasuke's here. He's back and right here__._' His inner self was rolling and jumping and screaming and running all over inside his head, non-stop and deliriously rejoicing. As he repeated those two short sentences in his happily drunken mind, the weight of that thought barrelled down and the magnitude of the reality that the midnight architect was in front of him shocked him. It seemed Sasuke was really back! _He's back_! His eyes misted quickly as complete bliss filled him. He could barely keep it in check as a drop or two trailed down. He quickly brushed it away lest Sasuke would see it. It wasn't a time for tears but for warm welcoming smiles. He blinked away his heated eyes and swallowed the imaginary big lump lodged on his throat, suppressing his emotion entirely.

'_The fucking stupid is absolutely useless,_' Sasuke roared in his head as he dragged and placed a grinning Naruto on the loveseat facing the balcony. He couldn't understand the 'cause of the idiotic grin thus he couldn't share the amusement the blond had seen in this gloomy predicament. But the smile, though absolutely idiotic, was warm and inviting.

Sasuke couldn't help giving back a very quick quirk of lips before he turned to take the other pair of his boots and ducked to hide both under the settee. He quickly tied his hair into a bun and clipped the black gossamer blusher veil with a small hat on his hair. After checking nothing was amiss, he sat beside the blond on the settee. He folded his jeans to halfway of his legs then tucked both under him. He straightened the skirt and covered his feet as he didn't have girly small feet.

Naruto's breath hitched at the smile that ghosted on Sasuke's face, though fast it vanished. His eyes quickly misted and he almost broke down had he not suddenly caught up in turmoil. Everything that had been happening just seemed too good to be true. Was this another one of his hallucinations? Had he gone truly nutty?

"You're real, right? Because if I am dreaming, please… please don't wake me up again," Naruto said with fear and uncertainty painted on his metallic blue eyes.

Caught abrupt with the absurd question and urgent plea, Sasuke did them both a favour and pinched the tanned arm real hard. "Guess, I'm real alright," he deduced as Naruto cringed at the sharp pain.

"How did you get in here?" Naruto asked as he tended to his bruised arm.

Naruto had clearly completely zonked out earlier. "Through the balcony," Sasuke answered before relaying the situation briefly.

There was a notable silence as the music came to an end and the gipsies started to leave. He gave them an appreciative nod before he grabbed the bottle of white wine and poured some into two tulip glasses. "Be thankful I have androgynous form," he remarked as he handed one glass to Naruto. Sasuke took a sip of his wine as he juggled about what he was about to do. Reasoning that it was part of the rescue mission, Sasuke leaned his head against Naruto's shoulders. The top of his head against the tanned shoulder, his ear pressed against the left chest and his arm linked casually around the tanned arm and falling over Naruto's left knee.

Taken by surprise at the intimate gesture and liking it, Naruto's heart quickened and he fervently hoped Sasuke wouldn't hear the strong pounding of his cardiac muscles. But that wish was very impossible as Sasuke's ear was pressed against his beating heart. Naruto saw Sasuke smirk and his heart doubled its speed. Could the earth open up and swallow him now? '_Now is a pretty good time,'_he ranted in his brain_._

Taking the rapidly beating of his heart as panic and alarm, Sasuke took the tanned hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "It'll be alright," he soothed quietly. He squeezed it once more to let his message carry more weight.

A fraction of a second passed and the old fashioned doors crashed open as Rutheford ploughed through door, stumbling a bit at his momentum.

Naruto grinned at Sasuke's, albeit misplaced, heart-warming concern. He was still grinning when he turned his head towards the tripping Rutheford. Very fortunately, the door was still intact and seemed to be still in good condition. Naruto's grin faded quickly as he noticed a shiny glint from Rutheford's side. Rutheford had barged in with his gun drawn. _The lunatic!_ Though Naruto had been a cop, he didn't carry a gun nor a badge anymore. Not even a baton or Taser. He kept his eyes alert and trained on the gun. He couldn't – wouldn't let Sasuke be injured on his watch, again.

"That will be all for tonight Mister. Kindly disconnect yourself from my wife," Rutheford ordered as he stopped before the settee.

"I beg your pardon," Naruto objected, smoothly sliding into act.

"Go over there," Rutheford ordered as he pointed the gun towards Naruto. Not wanting to borrow more trouble and risk Sasuke's safety, Naruto got up and stood beside Rutheford. "Do we know each other?"

"Only by proxy," Rutheford answered haughtily. "I'm the foolish husband."

"Whose foolish husband?" Naruto questioned, sounding terribly confused.

"Her foolish husband."

"My foolish husband?" Sasuke queried in an unusually softer voice and utterly sounding scandalized. At the sound of his voice, Rutheford approached Sasuke slowly. With his gun still in his right hand, he lifted the veil.

Naruto's heart died during that moment. _The bloody stupid man had used the fucking gun to lift the veil! How dare he directly point that to Sasuke and mere centimetres away?_ His body was protesting wildly against control. He wanted to throttle the man away. But Sasuke's aura and the silent message from the midnight eyes stopped him.

Upon seeing Sasuke's face, Rutheford's expression quickly changed to a surprise. Sasuke looked adorable with his lips partly open and his chin poised upwards towards the man. After a moment of staring, he gave a soft smile and fluttered his eyelashes towards the sweaty man.

"Well, is this lady your wife?" Naruto asked with his anger very well-hidden. He gingerly took a calming sip of his wine.

Rutheford turned to Naruto. "Is your name Mister Naruto Namikaze?"

"Yes," Naruto answered calmly.

"Is this suite 714?"

"Yes."

"Then she must be my wife," Rutheford insisted.

Naruto stopped his mouth in time from blurting, 'No chance in hell, fat-ass. He's mine!' His cheek muscle twitched as he faced Sasuke, he really wanted to box the stupid husband. "Well, are you his wife?"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed slightly as he wondered what could have caused Naruto's twitch. "I don't think so," he answered in fake amusement and barely concealed horror and disgust at the mere thought of Rutheford as his husband. Heavens forbid! It was downright an appalling idea.

Naruto couldn't have been happier with such a reply. He turned halfway as he stifled his laughter, forcing his mouth to remain shut with his hand. If he could applaud, he would have. The way Sasuke had answered was just absolutely fantastical. It was very good to know that Sasuke was horrified with the thought of Rutheford as his husband. Not that Naruto would allow it in any means. Or not that Rutheford was actually Sasuke's type 'cause he was absolutely not. But anyhow that should have enlightened Rutheford that his dear wife wasn't with him.

Luckily for Naruto, Rutheford hadn't notice a thing and was preoccupied with looking at Sasuke in puzzlement. "It's all very confusing," he stated. "Would you mind if I use your phone?"

"Help yourself," Naruto answered almost grating those two words as he turned around. The man was clearly not leaving anytime soon. Just what must he do to make him go away?

Sasuke lifted the veil off his face and folded it atop of his head. He questioned Naruto via his eyes saying, '_What's wrong?__'_

_Nothing,_ Naruto answered as he shrugged. He couldn't really say 'You're mine and I want that idiotic pest out' with his eyes.

Befuddled with his own worries, Rutheford was oblivious to the silent exchange. He walked over the writing table, placing his gun on it before grabbing the phone. He pressed one. "Hello, give me the concierge."

"Concierge, is there another Namikaze in this hotel?" he asked.

Meanwhile, Naruto gave an unabashed appreciative glance towards his companion. He thought the other man looked enchanting, sitting on the settee, sipping wine and dressed in lace. It wasn't the first time he had seen the other garbed in long fashioned clothes. But it was the first time he had seen him in an actual dress, a woman's dress at that. And he had to admit, the dress and Sasuke fitted together very nicely.

Sasuke was feeling rather odd under Naruto's gaze. Was he checking him out? Or was he merely looking at him with no meaning attached?

"This is the Royal Hotel isn't it?" Rutheford asked the concierge quite loudly, effectively breaking the thoughts of the duo by the settee. "I'm terribly sorry. But you must understand I'm terribly nervous," he said after he hanged up and walked over to the settee.

Naruto handed the perspiring husband a glass of wine, trying to be sympathetic and comforting. "Here have some of this."

"It's so preposterous isn't it?" Rutheford asked as he took the offered wine. "Apparently I'm the victim of misinformation, a case of mistaken identity."

"Cheers," was all Naruto could reply.

"Cheers," Sasuke echoed and saluted.

_Sniff, sniff_, Rutheford scrunched his nose as he sniffed. "Perfume!" he exclaimed with sureness. "I just smelled my wife's perfume." Sasuke almost choked on his wine at the sudden outburst. Was the man actually a dog? Immediately, Rutheford placed his glass on a side table as he looked around the room for his wife. Finding her nowhere in the sitting room, he went towards the bedroom and opened the closet.

Naruto diligently followed the uncultured man, stopping only by the bedroom's doorway. When Rutheford glanced at him, silently asking permission to continue his search, Naruto gestured with his hand holding the wine, "Go right ahead. Help yourself."

At his consent, Rutheford wasted no time and went into the bathroom. It was empty. He patted the shower curtain. It was also empty. He walked back to the bedroom and flattened himself on the floor as he looked under the bed.

"Well while you're looking and you happen to find my left slipper…" Naruto trailed and glanced back to Sasuke who was still seated on the settee and following the turn of events with his midnight eyes. He looked entirely regal and Naruto couldn't help feeling taken more so with him.

"Is this it?" Rutheford asked as he stood up holding a black slipper, breaking Naruto's line of musing. As he handed it to Naruto, Rutheford apologized, "I'm sorry to cause you all this trouble."

Very amiably, Naruto put an arm around Rutheford. "No trouble. I'm glad you came. I've been trying to find this for a nearly a week."

"You've no idea what I've been through today. I was so upset that I went to a spa and had three massages," Rutheford rambled as they walked back to the adjoining sitting room.

"You look good," Naruto commented on the digressing man.

"Thank you," Rutheford said before turning to the seated Sasuke. "You know when I saw you earlier at the hallway I could have sworn you were my wife."

"Then you must not jump to conclusions." Sasuke advised very sweetly while inside his self, he was screaming, '_Because it was your wife you had seen!_'

Rutheford agreed. "Actually you don't look like her at all. My wife is much more…" He gestured his hands making a curve before he turned towards Naruto, continuing, "Not that she's having mind you. She's very beautiful. In fact, I'm sure she's one of the most beautiful women in the world."

Sasuke inwardly scoffed at the comparison. He was male and she was female. Of course, there would be a lot of differences and _preferences_. And that conclusion pained his heart as he glanced at his blond companion.

"I'm sure she is," Naruto agreed impatiently as he started to guide Rutheford towards the door.

"I do wish you could meet her," Rutheford stated.

"Well, perhaps some other time," Naruto replied, very anxious to see Rutheford gone. He really wanted to talk to Sasuke, alone and as soon as possible.

"Oh, yes. Yes, of course," Rutheford said, completely understanding that he had interrupted their time together. He tipped his bowler's hat and bowed towards Sasuke. "Good evening, my lady." Sasuke gave a small smile as he bid a perfunctory goodbye. "Good evening, Mister Namikaze," Rutheford said as he shook Naruto's hand then left, chuckling to himself.

Sasuke took a long gulp of wine as soon as the door was shut.

"How was that guy? He told his wife he was away in a business trip for a week," Naruto commented as he walked towards the settee.

"And he had good reason to do so," Sasuke said, leaving out '_And if I was in his shoes, I'd do it also__._' He placed his glass on the table and looked at Naruto before continuing, "He was testing if the rumours were true. And apparently it was. A couple of minutes ago, there would have been a murder scene in this room."

Naruto had the gall to look peeved. "A man has needs, Sasuke," he reasoned nonchalantly as he sat back ungracefully. "And you saved me from mortal peril, twice now, so no harm done."

Sasuke huffed at his excuse and argued mentally, '_A man has needs, a man has needs. Well, every fucking human has needs._' He wanted to stomp on that tanned face really bad. "Next time **-** " Naruto raised an eyebrow at his words. "Yes, there will be a next time because you're just that type of person," Sasuke accused. "Next time, don't expect me to save you."

Naruto let the accusation roll. He wasn't going to deny it because he knew he had that unsavoury image since his late teenage years. And he was doing it just as Sasuke had witnessed before it was interrupted quite violently. Though to tip the judgement on Naruto's wing, it was his only vice. So he couldn't certainly be considered a rake or that much of a bad character. And all his partners had been of sound mind and very willing. "How did you even know about my assassination?"

"I overheard him," Sasuke replied as he tinted lightly. He didn't want to be labelled as an eavesdropper. He was just being cautious. "And it was hard not to, his voice was loud enough," he added. It was just the truth.

Naruto smiled at Sasuke's slightly heated cheeks. It had been truly a long time since they have seen each other. "That's alright. If you hadn't, I'd be swimming in my blood right now." He wanted to cup those rosy cheeks and hug him but he wasn't sure how Sasuke would take the gesture. So, Naruto decided to trek it slowly, starting with a safe question, "How are you, Sasuke?"

Sasuke wasn't expecting the vague yet profound question. He wasn't expecting anything at all. He was so focused in just getting there and saving Naruto's hide. Now that he was faced with a question as such, he didn't know how to answer. He didn't even understand the simple question. More so, what to say, so he shied away his eyes from Naruto and answered vaguely, "Getting by."

"Your hair is straight again," Naruto noted. Sasuke was looking more like the Sasuke before he left the first time.

A tad conscious, Sasuke touched his hair, passing it as tucking his hair behind his ear. "I didn't like the curls."

Naruto caught his arm as he noticed him moving away and asked one of the many questions flashing in his mind. "When did you get back?"

Irritated that his night was to be filled with a questions, Sasuke shrugged his arm. But Naruto wouldn't let go. "Gaara found me last April," Sasuke answered.

_Gaara had found Sasuke? Since April?_ Naruto was dumbstruck. Why wasn't he told? They knew he had feelings for Sasuke. He even had a panic attack just because of him. They knew he love him even though he hadn't said a word, they should have known. Wasn't it obvious enough? They knew he was crazy sick when he left. They knew… So why did he only know now? Why did-

_Knock, knock,_ the door sounded. "Mister Namikaze? It's me the husband."

Alarmed at the sudden come back of Rutheford, Sasuke quickly moved his hand and cupped Naruto's elbow, balancing the odd and unromantic gesture before the idiotic husband sees them.

Upon seeing his chance and maybe his only one, Naruto cupped Sasuke's chin and kissed him just as the door swung open. He knew he shouldn't be doing this to Sasuke but all his pent up emotions didn't want to be ignored or suppressed this instance. _Damn slow and steady_. He had wanted to do this since four years ago and now Sasuke was within his reach. He wouldn't let this chance pass.

Sasuke's eyes widened in shock as Naruto's lips touched his, electricity running through his nerves and instantly he closed his eyes. '_This is just a cover_,' he said bitterly to himself. Even so, he leaned into the kiss and savouring it as best as he could and letting a tiny, tiny speck of hope flare.

"I left my gun on…" Rutheford began but the words he uttered fell on two pairs of deaf ears who were busy in their own little world.

The kiss was anything but chaste. It was needy and deep with pent-up desire. Naruto's tongue glided on Sasuke's lips, teasing and coaxing him to open. At which, Sasuke readily acquiesced and parted his lips further. With their teeth brushing lightly, both tongues readily delved into the moist, warm and open caverns. Naruto gave a lustful moan as his tongue touched against the other moving muscle, the taste of wine substantially the dominant flavour. Feeling the intense fire of desire, Naruto unwound the midnight blue locks from its tight bun, letting it cascade before he entangled his fingers with it. He deepened the kiss just as Sasuke cradled his head and pulled him, caressing his nape. Naruto's skin tingled pleasurably at the caress and his heart quickened at the overflowing emotion arising and purring within him. He leaned even more and cavorted into the kiss, passionately as he ran a tanned hand along the lace dress then stopping atop Sasuke's hip crest. Naruto pressed his thumb against the toned muscle and boldly slowly sliding down against the junction between the hip and the thigh. He could already feel something between his own legs rose slowly, titillated at the ardent exchange.

But before he even knew it, he was half hanging off the armrest and his head lolling upside down with his lower lip tingling at the surprised angry bite. He bet teeth marks were evident on it. Sasuke had shunted him away. Quite obviously, since he could still feel the force of a foot pushing down on his extended torso.

"I'm not a replacement for your married lover," Sasuke muttered viciously, his hair flailing wildly around and his heart still hammering from the heady kiss.

"No," Naruto answered as he tasted liquid copper running down his mouth and throat. "You're definitely not."

Sasuke retracted his leg and stood up, taking off the partly undone veil. He dropped it beside the blond and moved towards the adjoining bedroom. "Wait, Sasuke!" Naruto panicked and quickly pulled one arm of the retreating man. "Don't go."

"Let go," Sasuke countered before he cuttingly added, "I need to change. Unlike you, I don't fancy womanly dresses."

Unruffled with the remark, Naruto let go but not before chuckling. "I distinctly remember you wearing a frilly blue nightgown."

Sasuke whipped his head around and gave him an icy glare that would have worked out well had he not been blushing. "You know very well Mama made it for me." It had always been his mother's gift for him so he wore it just to please her. Also, it was comfy and airy so he didn't mind. And it was only his family and Naruto's family that saw him in it, anyways.

Naruto knew that. But still, he couldn't help teasing the man. He remembered Sasuke looked very cute in it. The nightgown wasn't girly in any level; it was just lengthy, passing the elbows and knees. The only décor, the two layers of frilly detail adorned the wide boat neckline, giving it an air of youth and attractive flair. "Do you ever still wear one at night?"

Sasuke moved away and continued to the adjoining room after muttering incoherently. Unknown to him, Naruto heard something along the lines of having difficult time finding one appealing to his taste and more, to suit to his height.

Upon reaching the bedroom, Sasuke opened the closet and grabbed his rucksack. He quickly fumbled with the hook and zipper at the back before gladly yanking the expensive dress off. But unbeknown to him, Naruto had followed and was standing at the doorway, openly gawking at the numerous marks that marred his snowy skin.

Sasuke opened the flap of his rucksack and took out his long sleeved shirt. He stretched it wide across his arms, poised to put it on, only to be halted by an anguish roar. The shirt was dropped instantly. Though before he could pinpoint the cause for the blond's outburst, he was enveloped with strong arms from behind and at his shoulder blade rested a kiss of lips. He could feel the strong steady beating of Naruto's heart on his back. Once more, his own heart quickened at the tender gesture before shaking from his thoughts and returning to the confusing turn of events. "Naruto, what **-**"

"Sasuke, must you always return to me scathed?" Naruto interrupted softly, tightening his hold. He distinctly remembered, four years ago, Sasuke's arm was bleeding from a bullet graze. The damn confused man had been standing in the middle of a gunfight.

Sasuke didn't know what to make of the question so he settled with the easiest to handle, anger. "I'm not some sort of trophy that needs to remain checked, polished and unblemished. I never knew you valued aesthetics so much."

No, Sasuke wasn't a trophy, he was more than that. He was Naruto's precious, precious… what? Possession, lover, man? What? Naruto could only sigh before kissing the tensed shoulder muscle. Sasuke was his precious person. "No, I don't… Tell me, Sasuke, who I should beat into an inch from death's door. Tell me who did those to you."

Amused with the gallant attempt, Sasuke inquired, "Which scar do you want to avenge?"

Naruto should have known those scars weren't the making of one hand but many. "You didn't get caught up in a gang did you?" he asked, his forehead resting on Sasuke's collarbone. His mind was already busy working out a list of names of gangs per area.

Sasuke gave a twisted laugh. A gang was probably better than those sick people. Yes, a gang would have been easier to deal with. The crazed laughter fuelled Naruto's desire to know the names of the perpetrators. He turned the taller man and forced him to sit on the bed. "Damn it Sasuke! Let's hear it. I want to hear all their names, all what they did. Come on."

Sasuke brushed away the hands that were holding his arms. "Don't patronize me. I don't need your pity."

"What? Which part of me pities you? Do I look like I pity you?"

"Don't take me for a fool. You want to hear what I've been through and you want to avenge it. Well you can't," Sasuke stated as he pushed the blond away and put on his shirt.

"I wasn't asking it for your sake. I was asking it for myself."

"Why?" Sasuke asked, his anger abating slowly and making way for curiosity. "What would you get from it?"

"Because I want to know what you had to go through, I want to share that burden with you."

"Burden?" Sasuke asked with his eyes narrowed and brows furrowed deeply. His anger was back on full throttle. "You call my scars burden?"

Naruto was confused at the angry snarl hence unable to form a reply.

"They're not burdens. Even though every single one hurt, I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't. I did what I had to do and those were just a part of it."

Seeing solid determination in those midnight eyes, Naruto asked quietly, "Sasuke, what exactly are those scars?"

Sasuke answered was succinct as he took the dress and folded it haphazardly before putting it inside his sack. "Punishment."

_Punishment?_ Naruto's mind clocked on twice as fast as he tried to make heads with that description. _Punishment for what?_ What had Sasuke done to receive such a punishment? _Damn it, was he really in a gang?_ But he didn't have any tattoos that say so. Just what happened to Sasuke?

As he was caught up with his thoughts, Naruto almost didn't notice Sasuke ready to leave and moving towards the door. Sasuke's jeans were unfolded, his boots were tied securely and his rucksack strapped onto his shoulder.

"Sasuke, wait," Naruto pleaded, his hand gripping the white sleeve. "Won't you stay?"

At the pleading tone, Sasuke's heart tugged but a thought emerged from to the front of his mind and it stung, deeply. "I'm not your damn woman. Let go."

"I know. We both know that. You're not a woman, Sasuke. Or a replacement… So **-** I just want you to stay… please?" Naruto struggled to make him understand and yet at the same time not to spook him away. It had been too long since he was in his company. Anything, anything, be it that he sounded whining and hopeless and pitiful, as long as Sasuke stays. _Stay and never leave me again._

Sasuke didn't know if he should feel angry that Naruto couldn't see him as any woman or that he wanted at least to be treated the same way. Not that he wanted to be the week's fling. He wanted more than that. Relenting upon those hopeful metallic blue eyes, Sasuke flicked Naruto's ear and ruffled his yellow locks. "I'll stay until you fall asleep."

…_One look at love and you may see it weaves a web over mystery._

**#**

Naruto opened his eyes, faintly registering the shutting of the door. As he glanced around the room, Sasuke was gone. He hadn't really expected him to stay after he was asleep and a quick glance on his watch said he had stayed for five hours._ '__At least, he stayed for five hours and not three,_' he mused consolingly before lying back down on the bed.

"You bloody idiot, Sasuke. I wanted you to stay forever with me!" he grumbled into his pillow, hitting the bed with his fists and feet.

_Crchk_, it was the sound of a paper being crinkled and rustled against the sheets. "Hmuh?" Naruto stopped moving and grabbed the piece of paper. It was a note from Sasuke. His heart skipped at the familiar habit.

The message read: 'Damn it! Since when did you snore like a bulldozer on the loose? Better stop smoking shit, Goldie. Or better yet, go see a doctor.'

And below the message was a drawing of a rooster head with a rather large comb.

His eyes misted as he re-read the note over and over again. And in every reading, his gaze would linger at the word 'Goldie' and the comic rooster. '_Some things never change_,' he thought as a smile ghosted his face. Sasuke still left him a note and he still remembered the moniker Naruto gave him when they were kids. And Sasuke still referred to him as Goldie, the goldfish. Though he should be insulted for being compared to a goldfish, he couldn't help feeling happy of all the familiar stuff that he once thought would never come again in reality.

"Ondori-chan, okaeri," he said to the vacant chair.

…_One breath, one word may end or may start a hope in a place of the lover's heart._

…


	4. III

**Fork in the Road (Up and Down I Go As the Wheel Turns)**

Stand at the crossroad and decide because if you don't, you'll be standing on the same spot all the following days.

…

After gruelling hours of stressful working Doctor Neji Hyūga definitely didn't expect that when he came home, he and his car would be greeted with a surprising sight of his dear friend sitting in front of his gate and the motorbike parked beside. He really hadn't seen this one coming. Ever, considering it was three in the morning and Sasuke was waving at him like they were in the park and he was having a jolly good time.

Alarmed at the reason for such an untimely and odd visit, Neji quickly turned off his engine and got off. "What's the meaning of this?"

"Hello, Neji. Can I come in for a while?" Sasuke said as he straightened up, unperturbed at the distress in the doctor's tone which he perfectly knew he caused.

Neji found the question utmost silly. Sasuke had grown into him and Neji considered him a dear friend and even as far as an honorary brother. Though they had known each other for a couple of years back in the academy, they were merely schoolmates, a friend of a friend, an acquaintance even. During those years, there wasn't a chance for their friendship to grow. It didn't help that Neji was three years ahead in school and Sasuke got transferred to his relatives.

Aside from the fact that Sasuke's cousin, Hotaru, was best friend with Mikan Hyūga née Yukihara and Mikan was quite infatuated with Neji's younger cousin, Natsume Hyūga, there was nothing else that would tie them together. It was only during college that they bonded and grew close. Perhaps, it was because that time Hotaru and Ruka Nogi, Neji's classmate and good friend for how many years, finally got around their differences and started going out. It didn't matter what made it start because he knew when it deepened.

Sasuke was truly a lost child then. He had been deviously curious trying to satiate his increased hormones and even out the pressure of higher education. Eventually before his first year was even out, he meet a rake and, as unfortunate as it had been, was quite taken with the rake's thrilling accompanying lifestyle. Nobody tried to stop the stubborn fresher then, though in their defence they gave him plenty of warnings to dissuade him from the foolhardy relationship.

It was only through experience did Sasuke finally understood what their incessant worries were for. After a month, he grew bored with the man and tried as hard as he might to break off, the other man wouldn't let him.

It was the first time any of them had seen Sasuke completely helpless and the stubborn, foolish, prideful child had been adamantly reluctant to ask for any help. Neji clearly remembered Itachi's rage and distraught appearance when the police- in-training had come to the campus after being informed that his only brother had been missing for nearly a week.

After what he had witnessed, Neji knew from then on he'd always want to try to protect this child. Yes, he was three years older but Sasuke was such a child it was hard to see him otherwise.

Neji waved a hand and returned casually, "Of course, what kind of question is that? Why didn't you ring the bell?"

"I didn't want to disturb," Sasuke reasoned. "And I didn't want to be inconsiderate."

"But you wanted to catch pneumonia, just great," Neji retorted sardonically as he went back to his car and clicked the gate remote open. Seeing the gate opened, Sasuke went inside and led his bike towards the awning by the back porch. Neji followed in his car and parked inside the garage.

"You could have been arrested," Neji informed as he ushered Sasuke in and moved towards the kitchen. "For loitering and suspicious behaviour while you've been lazing outside. How long have you been outside?"

"About half an hour," Sasuke replied, quite used to Neji's fretting. It was most probably because Neji had a lot of younger cousins, right and left, to see to. He was an only child. Thus from an early age, he was always encouraged to visit his other relatives and sometimes he was even called to babysit them. Eventually, it ingrained him with his 'parenting' tendencies.

"I can see to myself Neji. Go and sleep already," Sasuke said.

Neji gave a short snort. "Just how am I supposed to sleep after seeing you outside in the middle of the night like a lunatic having a picnic in the dark?"

"I wasn't having a picnic, Neji. And I'm perfectly sane, thank you," Sasuke corrected, earning a good glare from the doctor. Sasuke quickly apologized, "Sorry, I had nowhere to go."

At the given apology, Neji knew he wasn't going to sleep unless he had heard the whole story, the reason for this sudden night visit. "What happened?" he immediately asked. "And stop thinking that you can't drop in the middle of the night either, if you need to," he added as he took a jug of milk from the fridge. Catching Sasuke's gaze at the healthy drink, Neji chastised, "Oh, we're not having any caffeine. So quit looking hopeful, we're having warmed milk like kids about to go to bed."

"Fine," Sasuke grumbled as he leaned his hip on the island. He suddenly felt awful for turning up this late which was ironic because earlier he reasoned he didn't want to be inconsiderate. There were dark shadows under Neji's eyes and his face looked drably.

After a stretch of almost noiseless five seconds and as Neji was reaching for the mugs, Sasuke finally said, "I met Naruto earlier."

"When?" Neji put down the mugs on the counter, his movements considerably slowed as his eyes watched the other man rummaged through the cabinets and drawers.

"Just before ten at the Royal," Sasuke informed offhandedly as he opened the pantry. "Where's the nutmeg?"

"Two shelves to the right," Neji directed, still gauging the other man. "Why?"

"Why what?" Sasuke inquired as he finally pulled the narrow condiments drawer.

"Why did you meet him?" Neji poured the milk into the mugs then placed it inside the microwave oven, setting it for a minute and a half.

"Someone wanted to kill him so I intervened," Sasuke answered serenely, like it was a normal occurrence, as he pulled up each bottle looking for nutmeg.

Stunned at the unexpected reason, something in Neji's mind wired in place. "Don't tell me it was because of a jealous lover." His tone had a mixture of undertones: distress and amusement.

Humouring the older man, Sasuke didn't tell him and stayed silent, placing the bottle of nutmeg on the counter before staring at equally dark eyes. "It is?" Neji concluded after a split second of silence.

Sasuke lowered his eyes and stared interestingly at the nutmeg. "Lover wouldn't be his only title. Lawfully, he's also the husband."

"Husband?" Neji questioned, confusion marring his voice. Though, he knew the blond had a line of partners, he hadn't heard him get married or received an invitation for such an event. Did the blond purposely left him out? Yes, he disliked the blond but that didn't mean he didn't invite him during his wedding, a couple months ago. The blond restaurant owner was a good person though he was a womanizer. Goodness, it was the sole reason Neji was now always skipping the entertainment page. "I haven't heard Naruto getting hitched."

With that remark, Sasuke regarded Neji quite amusedly though inside something was twisting sharply at the thought of Naruto bound forever to someone, someone that wasn't him. He knew he was still stuck on that place and unmoving, his one-sided affair. "Not him, the killer," he answered flatly.

"You didn't have to kill anyone, did you?" Neji questioned distractedly as he gave Sasuke's appearance a glance over, looking for any splash or speck of blood. "The husband is alive, Neji. Stop worrying."

Neji gave a nod of relief and approval before venturing quietly, "What about Naruto?"

"He's still breathing, if that's what you're asking. He's sleeping soundly when I left him."

Upon the word 'sleeping', Neji instantly whirled around and faced him, curious. "Did you sleep with him?"

"No," Sasuke uttered a bit deflated before realizing the implication of the slip on his tone. He tried to cover it up by chastising the older man with vigour, "Neji!"

Chuckling at the red tinge and flustered voice, Neji asked knowingly, "Do you want to sleep with him?" If Sasuke had been drinking, he would be choking right now and Neji would be slapping his back. Sasuke's expression was very telling and Neji couldn't help chuckling more at his expense. Still embarrassed but growing irritated at Neji's chuckles, Sasuke clipped, "Isn't the milk warm enough?"

"It hasn't beeped yet," Neji answered, his chuckles coming to a halt. "Go on, how did the meeting go?"

"Full of questions. What else?" Sasuke answered, purposely leaving the other stuff out. Not that he was ashamed of it but was it something even worth mentioning? The kiss had been just an act, though he tried to savour it as much as he willed. But the hug and sympathy and the plea to stay over… was it all an act, too? What else was it if not that? Surely and obviously, it wasn't Naruto having romantic affection for him. That was too far-fetched.

"Well, did you answer any of it?" Neji queried, noting the pensive look upon the younger's face. Sasuke gave a nod as the microwave beeped then Neji took out the two mugs of warmed milk and asked, "Did you have any questions for him?"

Sasuke shook some nutmeg into one of the mugs. "Do you want nutmeg on yours?"

"No," Neji replied as he took a bottle of honey form the fridge. "So, did you?"

"No, I didn't ask anything about him."

"Why didn't you? It's kind of unfair that he gets to ask all the questions," Neji stated as he add a large dollop of honey.

"What was I supposed to ask him?" Sasuke said bitterly as his shoulders hunched ever so slightly. "Naruto, do you even know that I still love you? And that I hate you right now, you fucking boobie lover? Must you always make it into the gossip columns?" He paused to look the other in the eye. "Even now, I sound like a bloody hang up lover and I bloody wasn't even one."

Neji inwardly agreed with his comment and took heart at his predicament. "Still those could have been a very nice start," he insisted before he took a sip of his milk. He had the inkling that the blond held feelings for Sasuke. What else was his panic attack last year was for? Now, all he needed was Naruto's confession. But first, the blond needed to stop stringing women and being a damn man-whore. It was so wrong in many levels and didn't exactly add up if he really had strong feelings for the other raven. It was kind of a mix-up and the only thing stopping Neji's suspicion to be a hundred percentage utmost correct.

Sasuke didn't reply and took a nice big long gulp of his milk. He was scared to lose him, again. He wasn't going to try anything that would agitate him. Heck, he wasn't going to try anything at all. That was it.

"Hungry?"

"No. Just wanted to finish before you." Snorting at the antic, Neji said, "Competitive arse. Just don't choke on me." Once Sasuke finished his drink, Neji felt it safe to ask, "How do you feel now you've met him again?"

"I don't know...," Sasuke admitted. "Odd?" he wondered before giving a small smile of irritation and fondness. "I wanted to smash his face earlier. He was just standing in the middle of the room while I was panicking around before the killer arrives."

"You must have jolted him into catatonia. Though it is a wonder, he did not faint nor had a heart attack. You were practically a ghost to him. Quite the irony, when you nearly killed him with a panic attack last year."

Sasuke frowned at the new information. Naruto was much alive when he left the party. "He looked quite well when I left him last year."

"Of course, he was. He didn't know back then, that it was you he had seen and broke into his house. It was two days after."

Sasuke couldn't form a reply and stayed silent, mulling over his memories of those days. He felt quite ashamed as he ruminated about his suicide attempt and his reason, as he looked back now, seemed petty. If every person with unreturned feelings had come to the same decision he had and took their life, there would only be a handful of people living left and a large part of it would be new-borns.

Noticing his reticent companion and the troubled countenance, Neji said reassuringly, "It's not your fault, Sasuke."

"That's a lie," Sasuke stated before arguing, "Neji, I caused his panic attack and I nearly killed him."

"I'm not lying. Sure, you came back and left but did any of us know you'd be triggering a panic attack?"

"I shouldn't have come back then. It would have been better."

Neji stared at his long-time friend. Sometimes, he still couldn't help wishing that if only he hand a magic wand. He would have waved it atop his friend to dispel all those lurking murky memories and uncertainties. Then Sasuke's self-confidence wouldn't fluctuate so much. Even after all these years, Neji still could see the self-doubt behind those eyes. "Why did you leave again?" he asked as he shifted his gaze towards the nondescript part of the ceiling.

Sasuke stiffened and kept his gaze inside his mug. "I couldn't face him… with another woman at his side. I was thinking that maybe when I was away, he would come to realize that he has feelings for me. At least I thought he did have or maybe I imagined it all along."

As he said it, he couldn't help noting that he sounded so self-centred with his reasons. He hadn't even tried to ask Naruto of what was in his heart. But Naruto had looked so damn happy and loving that moment. It was very obvious to anyone that he cherished the woman before him. And Sasuke, just because he was a big egotistical person, decided he couldn't take it and couldn't support his childhood friend's happiness over his selfish desire and self-centred affection. Yes, all because of the mere fact that Naruto wasn't his.

It really did sound selfish and it reminded him of all the fanatical admirers of his and realized that maybe this was what they felt like. Always looking from afar and relentlessly loving someone who was obviously not meant to be with. It was utterly a depressing feeling. Was this karma? For all the transgressions and grief he had brought to those around him? It was probably it. His eyes started to smart at his ill unbendable fortune. Even with this knowledge, he didn't know if he wanted to stop loving Naruto. Or if he could actually stop loving him.

As much as Neji wanted to tell him Naruto love him, he couldn't. The blond was unpredictable and he wasn't sure if Naruto was going to deny it if ever. Not that, Sasuke would actually believe it, not with the way Naruto was acting this past months. Besides, it was best not meddle with the affairs of others because, more often than not, it backfires and comes out worse than before.

"But you saw him with another woman tonight."

"He had a death sentence tonight, that's what's different."

Neji took a sip before remarking, trying to lighten the mood, "But seriously Sasuke, you'd leave us because of him?"

"Yes, like you would leave me for anything about Gaara." Neji slanted his gaze towards him. "You're not being jealous are you?"

Sasuke snorted softly. "I'm not as childish as that." Neji couldn't resist rolling his eyes at the rebuke. "So, what happened to the woman?"

"I don't know. I just told her to leave through the balcony." Sasuke didn't really care that much for the woman. He just hoped he would never have to face or see her again. And that she stays away from Naruto. _Shit_, he was a certified stuck-up jealous self- proclaimed lover.

After a long stretch of silence, Neji inquired, "What are you going to do know?"

"Do what about?"

"Now that you've met each other again."

"Nothing, what am I supposed to do Neji? When I courted him four years ago, he turned tail and bought a house at Bellford," Sasuke argued snappily. "This time, I'm not going to do anything at all." He gave a nod of approval to his self as he continued, "Everything will continue as is."

"Times have change, Sasuke. If you're going to harbour that feeling for the rest of your life, might as well do something productive with it. And wasn't there a saying 'Try and try again'?"

"What are you saying exactly?" Upon Neji's words, the speck of hope within Sasuke grew up a millimetre.

"I'm not saying anything. Just think about it while I sleep, okay?" Neji gave a small smile towards the frowning man.

**#**

"…I'm not sure, why Gaara choose this song for you," Sasuke said. "Neji, maybe you'd get 'cause I don't." Sasuke paused and gave a small smile. "Or if you also don't get it, then let him explain it to you. So…"

"You came here to watch yourself sing?" Gaara Hyuga asked as he sat on the couch with Daisuke, the sleeping Rottweiler, nestled between them.

"Maybe if I watch it many times, it'll seem like a memory and I'd feel I was there at your wedding," Sasuke replied, his head resting on his arms and his arms atop his knees.

"Are you trying to fool yourself?" Gaara remarked as he caressed his dog's silky coat. Even under just the television's light, he could see dark shades under those midnight eyes.

"Just a bit," Sasuke admitted. "Is it already time to go to work?"

"It's only five," Gaara answered. "Have you slept?"

"Not yet. I can't sleep."

"Are you planning to leave anytime soon?" Gaara asked as his jade eyes observed the other man. When he found Sasuke, he looked different. His skin was reddened from travelling the roads and seas. His hair looked brittle and coarse and unmaintained except for a piece of cloth that tied it all. And his eyes, his midnight sunken eyes were hardened and miserable. Even though he had travelled extensively and a long time had passed, it hadn't done any good to him. He was still stuck in the place of shadows, roaming and roaming.

As Neji's lover, he had his fair share of knowledge about Sasuke's life, especially love life. Because if Neji wasn't around, it was him Sasuke confided to. And coincidentally, all the talks concerning Naruto were his turns. It was him who first knew Sasuke was attracted to the blond. It was also him who first knew when Sasuke had concluded that he did, in fact, have grown to love the blond in a different way. Sasuke had been blindingly happy and anxious all that three hours. And Gaara hadn't even tried to calm down Sasuke, just letting the architect pace around the room. Daisuke even got tired of trying to follow what he was doing and just moved out of the room.

It was also Gaara who first knew Sasuke planned to slowly court the blond. Sasuke had been panicky and nervous and short-tempered that day as he tried to plan it all out. Gaara, not a fan of theatrics unless it was a gore film, just sat in on place, mumbling a yes or no, nodding his head or rolling his eyes. It was quite funny and invigorating to witness Sasuke as such; so very determined and just set on vigorously writing it all down.

That evening when Gaara had relayed what had transpired to his lover, Neji had patted his back for doing the correct and safest thing. As it turned out, sometimes when Sasuke got really carried away he would get too physical with whoever was in his way. Perhaps, it was because Sasuke was an artist through and through that he was very emotional and volatile at times and almost bordering on moody, the ladies' kind.

"Did I wake you?"

"You know what I meant."

"No," Sasuke answered. "No, I'm not leaving. I don't think so. Don't worry the next time I do, I'll write you a note."

"With an address." It wasn't a suggestion, it was an order. Last time, Gaara had to exert his power over the realm of the seas and pulled up strings to locate the missing architect. And he was just tired seeing Neji sigh and worry whenever he remembered Sasuke. Gaara could only guess how Itachi and Naruto were fairing then.

"He asked me when I got back," Sasuke said. "I told him you found me."

Gaara didn't need to nod at the advance warning. Naruto was going to come looking for him, demanding answers. He had been waiting for this day. Perhaps, he could finally set the wayward blond straight. Though, he implored the universe to help him because he wasn't tactful enough for a man like Naruto and he may end up punching the blond. After the first video was finished, Gaara said, "Are you going to work? Even electronics need to recharge."

Sasuke shook his head at the red head's odd way of portraying his concern. "I have a client coming today, renovation for a school. Don't worry I'll just take some chocolate or caffeine as supplementary juice."

Gaara didn't say anything anymore and continued to watch his wedding earlier this year, two months before he had found Sasuke. He knew Sasuke had seen the whole wedding video set five times already. It was clear he wanted to be there but that couldn't happen anymore. The wedding was already over. Maybe, if Sasuke stuck around he could join the fifth year anniversary.

**#**

"How very nice of you to visit," was Neji's first line of greeting as he opened his front door and let Naruto come in. "Alive and quite well, not even sporting a single bruise," Neji added as closed the door.

At the contemptuous comment, Naruto understood that Sasuke had come here. He didn't bother to point out that he had a bruise, one that Sasuke personally designed inside his mouth and cannot be seen. "Why didn't you tell me he was back?" Naruto asked, skipping the proper greetings and whatnots. He had come for a purpose and wouldn't be bothered with trivial things.

"I had no intention of telling you," Neji stated impassively. If the blond man was going to be stubborn about his women then Neji was also going to be stubborn about his displeasure.

Naruto knew the man disliked him, as Neji had explicitly informed him a couple months back. But was it too much to notify him that their mutual friend had come home?

"But he did," Neji added as he gestured towards the red head that had come out to the foyer.

"I did call," Gaara defended, staring the blond in the eye. "But you weren't answering."

"Then you should have called again or better yet, left a message."

"I did. I left you a message the same day. Then I tried calling you for the next days but you turned your phone off." Though Gaara was also displeased by the blond's womanizing exploits, he treated Naruto the same as ever. It was too much of a hassle to do otherwise and Neji was already hounding on Naruto's case. It was very understandable as Neji was quite fond of Naruto and couldn't help trying to look out.

Naruto skimmed his memory of such a voicemail but couldn't remember one. He frowned at that conclusion. He was absolutely certain he would have remembered receiving such an important message. "I didn't get a voicemail."

"Your lady friend must have erased it then," Neji offered, still standing by the door and regarding the blond. He had been there when Sasuke and Naruto first reunited; Naruto holding a bratty Hanabi by the wrists. It was certainly a very uncanny reunion.

"What lady friend?" Naruto barked.

"Two weeks after Sasuke got back, you were on the papers," Gaara said. "According to it, you were back from a cruise with a pop singer."

"Pop singer?" Naruto tried to remember April and a cruise and a pop singer. '_Alicia? Wait, wasn't that was the director. Or was it Marie?_Upon hearing Neji's snicker, Naruto broke his thoughts and faced the doctor wondering what he found amusing.

"You don't even remember her." Neji smirked before continuing, "After all the women you dated, it's not very surprising."

"I didn't receive a message," Naruto insisted, letting the snide comments slide. He was used to Neji by now. And he couldn't fault or dislike the man for that because what he did wasn't something to be praised.

To prove it true, Gaara took out his phone and showed him the phone logs. '_Namikaze Naruo (Dialled): April 27 8:00/ April 26 22:00/ April 25 6:00…'_

'_This can't be… true,_' Naruto thought as he scrolled the list downwards proving Gaara had been saying the truth. But still why didn't he know? "Why didn't you come to me and say the news on my face?"

Exasperated, Gaara grabbed his arm and shook him. "Naruto, if you just stayed in one place and didn't entangle yourself with the next woman then maybe I would have had the time to actually tell you," he said quite riled up. Understanding his husband's quirks, Neji was immediately beside them. He placed a loving hand upon Gaara's arm, restraining him from doing bodily harm against the blond.

Naruto couldn't say something to that. So, it was his entire fault that they weren't able to tell him?

"Naruto," Gaara said, letting his tone lower down once he had composed his self. "I'm tired of seeing you on the papers, aren't you?"

Naruto evaded his question, deeming it unimportant, and asked, "Why didn't anyone tell me he was back?"

Frustrated, Gaara sighed. He would rather talk all day to the seamen and his staff of shipbuilders. "If you weren't caught up in your own world then maybe you would have let us tell you. Don't you think it's time to stop pretending?"

'_Stop?__' _Naruto choked inwardly but he didn't dare show it. _They just don't understan__d._

"Have you ever thought about Sasuke's position?" Neji asked. "Can't you remember that before he left you were avoiding him like the plague? Not only that but you stood him up on countless occasions. Think about it for a while, Naruto." The reminder prickled but Naruto had apologized. He apologized for those. He did and Neji didn't know that. Neji couldn't possibly know that.

With shock and confusion clearly painted on his face, Naruto turned to leave and only nodding to the married couple good-bye. "Oh, and he reads the papers so, he sees your face regularly," Neji added before he closed the door. That should stop Naruto from more stringing women.

Naruto stared at the closed door for how long he didn't notice. He swallowed the lump that has gathered on his throat before turning away and leaving.

… _No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man behind blue eyes._

…_And no one knows what it's like to be hated, to be fated to telling only lies._

**#**

"Know what?" Kakashi asked his adoptive brother, his mind still concentrated on his video game. Kakashi had been seven years old when his father died and was taken to Minato Namikaze. Minato at that time was engaged to Kushina Uzumaki. He remembered being afraid of the new family he was given. But eventually between Minato's soft smiles and Kushina's hearty teasing, he warmed up. Then a month before Naruto was born, he decided to take on their surname. If he was going to live with this family, wasn't it only proper to also have the same name?

"Did you know Sasuke was back?" Naruto was laid on the floor with limbs stretched, staring at their ceiling.

"Hmm… yeah," Kakashi answered impassively. He knew Naruto would caught wind of it, it was just a matter of time and how. Honestly, he liked it that Naruto was kept in the dark about Sasuke's return. Kakashi wasn't sure just what Naruto's reaction would be and he certainly didn't want his brother to have another panic attack. He had been scared shitless that one time Naruto fainted in front of him and wasn't waking up no matter what he did. That's why he decided to move in and left their dojo business to their cousin, Kurama Uzumaki, to supervise. Moreover, he had seen his younger brother cry on endlessly for thirteen agonizing days for that vanishing boy. It was that time that he finally understood just how deep his brother's feeling for that vanishing boy was. And he didn't know how to comfort and appease his brother's pain and tears.

"And you didn't tell me," Naruto accused. Why was everyone keeping it from him? It was grating on his nerves.

"Should I have?" Kakashi asked before pointing out, "You seemed hell bent on forgetting him."

Kakashi's statement stung a bit. It was true. Naruto had sought and welcomed the women and the pleasures they bring. They made him forget everything, even for just a passing moment. And he took it; he took them so he could forget. But as the days went by, instead of forgetting, he started to imagine Sasuke. _What was he doing? Was he okay? Was he alive? Did he need help?_His mind became obsessed with him even more. Sometimes when he imagined Sasuke, he would look so real and near that Naruto would be stricken in place. It was heart-breaking yet, he couldn't –wouldn't stop remembering Sasuke. It was useless trying to do something he clearly didn't want to do. It was foolish of him to try to forget when he doesn't really want to forget. "I wasn't trying to forget him," he returned. Though it was partway a lie, it was also the truth.

Kakashi pressed pause, the little red and blue plumber stuck frozen in the air. He faced his younger brother and decided this was probably a good time to splash him with the truth. "What are those bimbos for?"

Naruto looked away at his accusation. Today, it seemed everyone was going to point it out. Why they were so hung up about it he didn't understand. Couldn't they see it from his perspective? Why he did what he did and continued so? "I was trying to move on." Again, it was a half-truth as it was a half-lie.

"Isn't that the same?" From Kakashi's understanding, moving on and forgetting were basically the same. The line between them was all blurred to his eyes.

Naruto didn't respond as he thought about it. Were the two synonymous? Was that what he was doing? He promised himself he wouldn't forget. And here his brother was telling him that was what he was practically doing. No, he wasn't trying to forget. No, he wasn't going to forget. He aimed to be on the papers for one reason.

"Naruto," Kakashi said, noticing the thoughtful look on his younger brother. "I didn't tell you also because I don't think he needed to see you." Upon catching his attention, Kakashi continued, "You always fill the entertainment page, anyway." It was a partly excuse. In truth, he just wanted to protect his brother away from that boy as long as he could. He couldn't help it, he was the big brother.

Naruto bit his inner cheek to control anger and hurt that was building inside him. Everyone was accusing him. As much as he wanted to let it slide, the words, the tones and the looks just stuck on to him. It was clear to him now. They didn't understand that's why they wouldn't support his action. It hurt they were all conspiring to hide Sasuke away. It hurt that he didn't know. Five months, five months he could have enjoyed in Sasuke's company. He lost that chance, they took it from him. "Since when did you know?"

Kakashi gave a sigh at the change of topic. "June. I went to his company for the renovation with the dojo. I saw him on the hallway then we had lunch after my meeting with Tanuza."

The meeting had been nothing but terse. He could barely contain himself from smashing the meal at that boy. He wanted to punch him ceaselessly until he was bloody. He wanted him to feel all the hurt his brother had felt. But that boy just kept silent at all the snide remarks that Kakashi had thrown his way. It was infuriating as hell. Though when Sasuke had looked up, Kakashi instantly knew the boy had been affected. And the stubborn boy was trying to hide it as best he could.

Naruto ground his teeth. Three months, three months Kakashi had kept this important fact from him. He took the gamepad and continued the game, firing all the opponents out of the way. "Something else?"

"Hmm… You missed the gold star," Kakashi pointed out before relaying, "Last month, a day before the bon festival, Kurama said Sasuke visited mom and dad. They had tea afterwards."

Naruto's chest ached slightly. He paid his respects late this year. Why wasn't he able to, again? He was staying in a villa with another woman in his arms. He almost hated himself, now. For the first time, he was questioning himself about his supposed reason and ploy. Was it now worth it, what he did? If he hadn't been with another woman, he would have answered Gaara's call. If he hadn't been with another woman, he would have known Sasuke was back months ago. If he hadn't been with another woman, he would have received news form their cousin that Sasuke had come to the graves. It was sickening. He hadn't even bothered to visit Sasuke's parents this year.

"Have you thought why he left last year?" Kakashi inquired, pulling him from his reflection. Maybe it was time to intervene in his little brother's problems. And he hoped from the bottom of his being that he wouldn't regret what he was about to do. He was going to bury that boy alive if he hurt his brother one more time.

Many times Naruto had thought about that particular night. But no matter how he turned the vents in his head, he couldn't find the answer as to Sasuke's reason for leaving. "Do you know why he left?"

"Do you?" Kakashi pressed.

"I think so," Naruto said before finally accepting that maybe, he needed another perspective on the case. "Why did he leave, Kakashi?"

"Have you watched the video from Chōji's and your restaurant?" Naruto nodded, curious and confused. "Perhaps we should watch it again," Kakashi said to his clueless brother, fervently hoping that everything would turn out for the better.

**#**

Naruto looked at the twilight sky then to the crushed can of beer on his hand and the other two at his feet. He had been awake, thinking and thinking. That was after he was done crying. It was really time to stop. Yes, it's time to stop for Sasuke had returned.

"Would it have made a difference had I sooner known **-** accepted that I love you too? Would you still have gone away almost four years ago?" he asked nobody. After all this time, Sasuke loved him. He couldn't ever have imagined that conclusion had Kakashi not pointed it out earlier. Sasuke loved him. His heart brimmed with happiness at that realization.

Yes, dear Sasuke loved him. Sasuke had loved him. Four years ago.

And Naruto had been blind too even see it… to even know it! And how patient Sasuke had been all that time, letting all Naruto's casual frankness yet hurtful remarks slide. Though Naruto didn't intend to cause hurt, it still grated in his conscience just how many had he unwittingly hurt Sasuke. Sasuke had stomached all his countless rejection though unintended. And he certainly didn't mean to reject him, not now. Not ever.

Though remorseful, Naruto couldn't help feeling a little irritated at Sasuke. If Sasuke had just told him in the first place, then they wouldn't be in this mess. Not that Sasuke hadn't been vocal, Naruto couldn't even count the times he had seen I love you written on the kitchen blackboard or heard him say it personally. But Naruto had thought of it at times as a joke or bromance. Sasuke should have just been more straightforward. He knew better that Naruto could be intensely dense and would see things from an entirely different perspective.

"Oh, hell." He paled a little as another thought flitted in his mind. Would Sasuke still accept him? Would he mind having someone who had figuratively stabbed his heart over and over again?

If Naruto had just accepted his feelings for the architect sooner… then maybe they would be together right now… together for years now.

But the past was the past. He couldn't go back and change it. All he had was the present and the future. Yes, and he was going to make everything alright. Tomorrow, he **–** no. Later, later he would start to make everything alright. Then tomorrow… tomorrow they would be together.

He yawned. He felt drowsy and it wasn't entirely because of the alcohol. He hadn't drunk that much, only three cans. He wasn't much of a drinker, rather he was an eater. Drinking had been more of Sasuke's turf, though he was also a food fanatic. Now that he thought about it, he hasn't seen Sasuke drunk ever before.

He glanced once more at the sky, a lighter shade of twilight. Dawn was about to break into the horizon. His heart felt light as he thought about watching the daybreak with Sasuke. '_Soon'_, he said to himself. Tomorrow, they could watch the sunrise together.

He imagined Sasuke was still sleeping on his bed. His hair splayed over the cream coloured pillows, his hands curled loosely and bent by his chest and his red lips partly open as he slept. His lashes looked longer and thicker against his snowy cheeks. Sometimes, there'd be a slight frown between his brows but it stayed only for a while. Other times, he'd mumble something incoherently and Naruto would laugh softly. How he missed taking a peak at him while he slept or watching him for a minute before he pushes the handsome man down to the floor, waking him up.

Naruto pulled his curtains shut and stood up from the bay window seat and walked to his large bed. He slid in, his eyes tired and his back aching. Just before he shut his eyes, he recalled Sasuke bidding him 'Night, Naruto'. Though his heart ached a little, it also warmed and felt very light. _Soon we'll be together__,_ Naruto promised before finally succumbing to slumber.

…_My dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be._

**#**

It was three o'clock in the afternoon and on the coffee table was a two months' worth of entertainment columns. As it was Sunday, Sasuke's work only ran until one in the afternoon. He had been sitting and staring at the pile for half an hour. He had been doing this ritual for so long but today… today he couldn't bring his fingers to even reach for one. He could just dump all of it into the bin. It was sickening, this ritual. He knew it was unhealthy. But Naruto looked happy with those… those women. Why did it have to be women? No, he wasn't going to change what he was. That's just… that's not love. Naruto wouldn't love me for me but for… female anatomy. It was this time again, Sasuke was questioning and supposing and dreaming…

Forcing a sigh, he grabbed the first paper. As to why, he kept on torturing himself as such was a wonder. Maybe deep down, he was a masochist; quite fitting for a martyr. Yes, it was infallible. He was a martyr. Or maybe he was just obsessed like crazy. A crazy martyr that was what he was.

He looked down at the paper. On its title, 'Bachelorette with Golden Boy in a weekend rendezvous!" Below was a picture of the two holding hands in a café and looking like the perfect couple out on an ordinary day. Beside it was another picture of the two sitting on a bench, with her leaning on him. They looked like they were made for each other, peaceful, happy and full of love. Without even bothering to read the paragraphs below, Sasuke tore the paper. These articles, these exploits, these women were ridiculing him, mocking him, taunting him. He loved the blond. He really did with all his heart. So why? Why wasn't it returned? Were the women so irresistible that those blue eyes won't ever see him? Why was he invisible against them? Why?

Another article about Naruto, Sauske tore it. Another picture of Naruto… smiling broadly... with a reality show superstar by his side, Sasuke tore it. He tore another picture, another article. And another one, he tore all the newspapers and magazines in shreds. He stomped on those little pieces. _It doesn't hurt_.

Then images of Naruto slow dancing with the married brunette resurfaced. And at the thought of what happens after that made Sasuke's blood boil. '_He's mine!__'_ his whole being snarled. But technically and in actuality, that was an outright lie. He gritted his teeth. _Naruto's heart belongs… should be… mine, all mine._With clenched fists and tensed cheeks, he restrained his anger. He had no claim or hold of whatsoever on the blond. _Ah_, that reason really hurt like hell.

"Damn it!" He kicked the fallen shreds and slapped away all the tiny ones that drifted upwards, all the while mumbling, "It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt."

But Naruto had kissed him. They had kissed. Yes and that kiss was also a big fat lie. It wasn't reality, it wasn't love. Naruto was just shocked and was at risk. That was why… that was why the kiss was all crap. It didn't count! He never counted anyway. He didn't. It was all… "Bullshit," he muttered angrily, bowed and clenching his hair tightly and losing entirely to his emotions.

Perhaps, it was time to stop holding on the line when there was nobody on the other side. He should stop waiting for Naruto. Naruto didn't love him. He couldn't force and hope upon something that wasn't even there. He already tried to make Naruto learn to love him but it was an utter failure. He couldn't make Naruto love him.

Perhaps, it was time to accept defeat and move on. It had been four years already, Naruto didn't seem to change except, now he was part of the news. And was bloody parading to him all the women he had.

Perhaps, it was time to wake up and face the reality. Dreams could only last for so long. And he didn't want to live in a dream, in something non-existent. It was futile. All he gained from it were false sense of hope and heartache. No, no more seedlings of romantic hope. No more dreaming.

He was going to tuck all of it. He was going to zip all of it. He was going to be a friend. His eyes began to heat and water as he asked to no one in particular, "How do I stop loving?" He beat his thighs in frustration. "Damn you, why can't you just love me?"

It felt utterly lonely in his one-sided affair. And it gratingly hurt every damn time. He clamped his chest and beat it next. "I don't want this. I don't want it anymore."

Perhaps there was something wrong in him. Perhaps it was him that was the problem of it all. After all, if he evaluated Naruto carefully and unbiased from his rose coloured perception, Naruto had no romantic inclination of whatever towards him.

Naruto wasn't to be blamed with this pain. It was his pain, it was his love, thus it was his responsibility. He had been too hung up with Naruto that he'd been too blinded to see the bigger picture. He had gone confused all these passing years. It wasn't Naruto's fault he felt this pain. Naruto couldn't be blamed just because he couldn't return his feelings.

How foolish he had been all this time. It was his self who was to be blamed. He had been fantasying deliriously about Naruto and him. It was his own doing that he was now in a snivelling mess of crap. He had been deluding his self of a romantic future together with Naruto.

It was utter crap. Naruto was smart enough not to fall for a man such as him. He had been unwittingly burdening Naruto with his sick, sick infatuation, coercive attraction -and even going as far as naming it as love.

_Love?_ What sick joke was he getting at? It wasn't love he felt. It was twisted, unnecessary, demanding attention and devotion. All, everything that he had done was under the guise of – of that. It wasn't love! It was his twisted mind!

And Naruto had seen through it. Thus wanting no more of this sick obsession, Naruto had left him. He should have stopped and understood it all when Naruto avoided him like the plague. What kind of person - friend had he become? Some twisted, dark friend he was.

The blame for this heartache was entirely his. It was his thoughts, his responsibility.

And, and there were a lot of fish in the water. He didn't need Naruto. He didn't need this illusionary love. He didn't care for it. Naruto was an important person in his life. He would change. He would change for the better and he needed to shed this old filthy skin off. He was going to break free from his own twisted warped belief.

Naruto was a free man and he would stay as such. And he was going to be Naruto's friend. The best one he could ever wish for. He would surpass if not equal Shikamaru.

That's it! 

_I'm done with this sickening ritual and obsession. _

_I'm done causing myself useless grief. _

_I'm done with it all__!_

Yes, times had really changed and it was time for him to also change. Determined, Sasuke let all his past grief out, not bothering to wipe the wet cascades. He could only move forward once he had come to terms with the past. And he was going to do so. Naruto didn't need this stupid Sasuke. Nobody needed this stupid obsessive delusional Sasuke.

For so long, Sasuke had been fighting a useless battle that he himself caused. It was futile because he wasn't going to win it ever. It was time to stop this horrible cycle. Slowly and continuously, the flaring millimetre speck of hope was drenched with ice water; never to be lighted anymore.

There was no love, only lies and misery.

… _Come on, skinny love just last the year._

…_Pour a little salt we were never here._

…


	5. IV

**Rotten Indulgence**** (Tarts & Crumpets, Please)**

A part of me just wants to find the right words to hurt you, the very same way you hurt me.

…

It was already well into the night when Naruto arrived at East Grange Street. It was almost deserted except for one or two late night strugglers going home. The trees by the curb looked eerie as it rustled softly against the wind. His destination, the twelve storey apartment building, looked very welcoming with its warm lights against the darkness of the night. When was the last time he was there? He couldn't remember exactly. He purposely avoided this place as much as possible and now… he was going back to it.

Determined not to waste more time or worse, chicken out, he turned his engine off, grabbed the small wrapped parcel and got off. He had enough mulling about stuff. What he needed was action.

As he stepped inside the bright spacious foyer, he noticed an unfamiliar man sitting behind the porter's desk. "Where's the old man?" he asked.

Startled by the unexpected question from a man he had never seen, the young freckled guy gulped loudly. "I'm sorry sir but which old man?"

"Stern, the head porter," Naruto clarified as he wondered if the man was still alive. The man had been an excellent porter. "The bald?"

"Oh," the young freckled porter exclaimed as recognition set in. "Mister Stern had taken the week off for personal reasons. I'm Hopkins, his substitute. Is there anything you need from him?"

"Ah, no," Naruto said quickly. "It's just… It has been a while since I came here."

"Then welcome back sir... sir?" the young freckled porter beckoned for an introduction.

"Naruto. Namikaze Naruto, fifth floor," Naruto introduced. "Glad to make your acquaintance Hopkins," he said before taking his leave and going into one of the three tenant's lifts. Once inside the glass fitted metal walls, his heart gave a tense squeeze as he punched out Sasuke's security code, hoping Sasuke hadn't changed it in all these years. Fortunately, it seemed the code hadn't changed in all these years. Naruto let out a long sigh of relief as the elevator started to move upwards.

Upon reaching the fifth floor, Naruto got off. He stood there scrutinising the small adequate hallway. Upon closer inspection, the walls didn't look cracked or aged at all. It was still pale brown, fallow. Applauding the good work of the maintenance crew, he pressed a hand against it, dragging it across as he walked towards the left. At the sight of the only steel door on the entire floor, he slowed down and dropped his hand. Suddenly, the air seemed colder as memories of a particular night resurfaced.

He had been standing at the hallway, just like now. Only then he was in front of the door buzzing the bell incessantly. He had forgotten his key to the apartment as he was too excited to see Sasuke. It had been nearly a month since he had laid his eyes upon a spherical pair of midnight. He had wanted to see Sasuke two days ago but the architect was out of town, visiting his brother and relatives. But the real culprit for the almost one month of non-contact was Naruto. He had been hiding – sorting out his self. The moving out plan didn't do much for its purpose, which was to halt his feelings or at least divert it to someone else. But none of that did happen and for the life of him he couldn't understand why the complete opposite effect did, until a few days ago.

After six prolonged rings, the door finally opened revealing a dishevelled looking architect. Naruto merely smiled, torn as to how to approach somebody he had been hiding from. He had expected Sasuke to close the door on him, shun him away or let out an angry outburst his way but not one of those happened. Instead, Sasuke was his usual sarcastic, caring self. "What do you know? A fish will always be a fish. You're looking quite hydrated, Goldie," Sasuke greeted as he opened the door wider to let him in, baiting him with the insulting comparison.

Nonetheless, Naruto didn't take it. "Rain," he said gruffly with misted eyes. He felt his heart thump deeper inside him, making a secure hollow of its own. He really wanted to hug him that very moment but he was drenched, top to bottom. His heavy clothes were dripping heavily and messing the hallway. "I – I forgot - I didn't bring a - "

"Brolly," Sasuke finished. "Come inside already or are you going to flood the hallway?"

Naruto bit his lip, utterly embarrassed at his state of appearance at this very important sudden visit. "But I'm wet."

Sasuke had rolled his eyes. "News flash, we both know that," he said before moving further inside and sliding the entryway doors fully. "Do you want to stay out there wet or get dry inside?"

"Inside," Naruto answered meekly. Why was Sasuke acting normal? Sasuke must be angry at him at least. He had ditched his company countless times. The last one was just after New Year's. And Sasuke looked absolutely pissed off that time on his doorstep. Kakashi was too.

"Then be quick about it," Sasuke said at his frozen state. "You know where the toilet is."

"Yes. Sorry for the mess." Naruto gave a nod then dashed past the entryway, the sitting room, the kitchen, and into the hallway leading to the nearest toilet with his sneakers squeaking all the way. He gave a sigh as he toed off his soggy sneakers and deposited his wet clothes on the floor before hearing soft padded footsteps approaching.

_Knock, knock_, the toilet door sounded before it opened partly and a snowy arm appeared holding a cerulean bathrobe. "The tub or the shower?" Sasuke asked behind the door.

Naruto took the robe before he poked his head out, directly facing Sasuke. "Can I have the tub?" Naruto asked hopefully with an encouraging grin in place. He loved Sasuke's slipper glass bathtub. Unfortunately, it was also the only bathtub in the apartment and it is in Sasuke's bedroom, sitting right across the huge bed.

Without another word, Sasuke walked away with just a wave of a hand. Understanding the implicit consent, Naruto quickly put on the robe. Then he took his wet garments to the laundry room next door. He turned the water knob of the washing machine and added a scoop of detergent before loading his clothes inside.

Now that he was inside and he had seen Sasuke, an anxiety of a new level rose within him. His hand even trembled slightly as he turned the knob for a quick cycle. He almost shouted when Sasuke entered the laundry room from the opposite door.

"Use it while it's still warm," Sasuke said before questioning, "Naruto, are you alright?"

"Yeah," Naruto replied as his cheeks coloured a little. "You startled me is all." But Sasuke didn't seem to be placated with the reason as a frown etched onto the snowy forehead, so Naruto reassured him more. "Sasuke, I'm fine. I'm just a little tense from work earlier. A lot of customers had been coming by to Chōji's." He paused before effectively changing the subject, "Um, can I use your bath bombs?"

"There are some yellow ones left I think," Sasuke said after a moment of scrutiny and before leaving through the door Naruto came in. Naruto shouted thanks to the retreating architect on the hallway before leaving the laundry room and into the studio through the door Sasuke came in.

The sound set-up that ran from the wall was on and vibrating, emitting clear soft folk melodies that bathed the lengthy studio with a comforting laidback atmosphere. The chestnut curtains were drawn to the sides with thick saffron cords while thousands of trails of the pelting rain ran down against the glass windows. It was almost dark outside except for the occasional momentary white streak of lightning.

A hefty part of the studio floor was blanketed by a large linen cloth with a number of different sized canvases littering atop it. Grouped on one edge of the cloth were a trunkful of tubes of paint, a can with different brushes, a basin of murky water, and a number of bottles filled with different coloured liquids.

Leaning on the other wall, parallel to him, were a handful of previous paintings that he had seen before. And on the far side, past the sea of newly painted canvases, the two wooden easels showcased sceneries of a forest in spring.

'_I must have interrupted his painting_,' he mused as he moved away from the sucking colourful world of paintings. He slid open the pocket sliding door and stepped into Sasuke's achromatic grey bedroom.

Through the open glass bathroom door, the steady stream of water pouring down into the large slipper glass filled the room. He could already see the steam slowly rising and misting the entire transparent glass bathroom. His warm bath was awaiting him.

He walked past the bed and into the bathroom.

Unlike in the studio, the black curtains were loose and covered all the windows. He moved to partly draw one of the curtains and appreciate the view of a rainy night. He tied the curtain loosely then moved to the cubby and grabbed a yellow bath bomb. He threw the bomb into the tub, took off his robe and without waiting anymore slipped in. He groaned heartily as he rested against the high end of the tub. Having a tub bath on a rainy night was nice but…

'_How am I going to confess?__' _he pondered, eying the ceiling for any answer.

_How does someone confess? And apologize all at once._That was his main big dilemma. He had an idea on the subject but how was he to do it to Sasuke he really had no idea. Will flower and chocolates do the trick? Or will a weekend trip somewhere cosy and romantic do enough justice? He knew women relished those gestures and it always helped in the apology process. But would it work on Sasuke?

Finding no definite or helpful answer, Naruto got off the tub and drained it. After drying his self and tying a white towel around his hips, he walked towards the open armoire and borrowed a V-necked long sleeved shirt and plaid designed shorts. He sniffed on his borrowed clothes; the faint scent reminded him of a midnight blue architect. He sighed; he would just have to apologize first then he'll worry about the other stuff next. With that course of plan, he left the bedroom, wanting to find the subject of his visit. He found Sasuke in the laundry room.

"Sorry, I probably picked a wrong time to come," Naruto said as he moved closer. Sasuke took out the dry garments from the dryer before he faced him, staring significantly. "Do you want pizza? I still have a couple of slices in the warming drawer," Sasuke offered.

Naruto moved forward and grabbed his dry shirt. "Sasuke, are you mad at me?" He busied himself with folding it as he anxiously waited for the answer. But, as it turned out, he couldn't wait for it. A lot of words pestered him to be let out, thus he started with the first apology. "I haven't been the best or at least good friend - person these past months," that was how he started his lengthy contrite speech. "Especially these past few weeks," he remarked before finally admitting, "I have been avoiding you." He fixed his eyes on his hands and shirt. He didn't dare to look up and risk seeing anger and annoyance in those midnight pools. He was being coward but he was just damn nervous. He knitted his brows in concentration as he refolded the shirt again.

"I was avoiding you," he repeated. "Something so utterly childish that it's shameful," he commented. He personally wanted to box himself for such a thing. He was twenty-three years old already for crying out loud.

"And I hurt you because of it." That he was completely right on. For almost a month he dodged, retreated, hid away from the midnight blue architect. "I hurt you again, Sasuke," he said, his voice nothing but trembling.

"You should have stopped me," he suggested the architect before his own brows knitted closely as a memory came up. "Well, you might have been trying that time you were shouting at my door." This time, he really didn't want to ever look up. "And I know, Sasuke because I – I was watching you…,' he trailed before confessing embarrassingly, "**-** from the bushes across my house." He shut his eyes completely now and focused on the words that he was saying.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke. I couldn't stop hiding and go to you. I'm really sorry I'm such an arse." He bit his lip before blurting the next on his list, "And that time, we we're going for a ski trip? Th - the one that I planned? I'm sorry I forgot. I didn't mean to but I forgot. It wasn't because of that woman I was with; I just met her a night before that."

He breathed out a pause. "I know you were mad at me. Kakashi was, too. He didn't even bother to talk to me for almost a fortnight. I'm not sure about Itachi if he was angry. Shikamaru wasn't. But that was because I called him after you guys left and I couldn't contact Kakashi. I didn't dare go follow. Kakashi was already shouting at my front yard before you guys left."

With every word that left his mouth, he felt smaller and smaller. _Hell_, he had a really long list of things to apologize. But he would do it. His apologies were way long overdue. "I'm also sorry for ditching you when we we're supposed to go see a film. Sasuke, I was there at the Cineplex but then I turned back. I was just so - "

"Naru -," Sasuke tried to interrupt.

"No. Let me say it," Naruto interrupted back. It was very important though awkward and embarrassing. "I need to say it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, because you need to hear it," Naruto said before commenting, "Sometimes, Sasuke, you're just too kind."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Yes, can't you see why?" Naruto argued as he finally looked up. Sasuke smiled wryly at him. "And why is it a bad thing?"

_Why is it a bad thing?_Naruto tried to think of a reason as he stared into Sasuke's glossy midnight eyes. After a moment of blankness, Naruto reasoned quite indignantly, "Because!"

Sasuke snorted at his childish reasoning. "You're easily side-tracked. And I don't think it's a bad thing." Naruto tinted lightly as he disapproved highly, "I am not!"

"Uh-huh," Sasuke disapproved whole-heartedly.

"Stop side-tracking me, will you?" Sasuke only rolled his eyes at the request.

"Sasuke, you must understand I'm trying to make you understand," Naruto explained, grabbing a snowy arm. He wanted to shake the man just so he would listen properly at him. This was important.

"Yes, I avoided you and hid from you but I don't regret it, not entirely. Except, I wished I hadn't hurt you at all," Naruto said, his tone solid and serious. "But it was for something better, Sasuke. You see," His anxiety was rising back again, overwhelming him. "Sasuke, because of it I realized sa – something." His breath hitched as Sasuke's intent gaze focused on him.

…_And the words that I could never say are gonna come out anyway._

"Something great. I - I realized that Sasuke I was - am…," he trailed as he tried to remember the words he was going to say, the words that would convey his feeling. The right words he should say to Sasuke…

"Yes, Naruto?" Sasuke prompted quietly.

However, Naruto was completely enraptured at those tender midnight pools that were gazing down on him. He was utterly content to just stare up all night long. '_Oh dear,' _he inwardly sighed.

…_You give me something that makes me scared alright._

_Fuck._ Naruto had broken out in cold sweat. He lowered his hands to take a handkerchief from his pocket then realized he was wearing Sasuke's shorts. With no other choice, his hand tightened on his newly washed and dried shirt. He lifted it up to wipe his sweat but his hand stopped midway as he his eyes caught sight of those tender midnight pools and unresistingly he continued to gaze. He just couldn't take his gaze off those tender, tender eyes.

…_I'm willing to give it a try. Please, give me something._

Sasuke took the shirt from him and used a small towel from the cabinet to dab his sweat off. At the movement, Naruto quickly tried to piece in his mind as to how he was going to confess his love. It had to be really awesome. He'd moved them out of the laundry, he'll ask him out to dinner and then he'd… he'd…

_...Because someday I might know my heart._

"Sasuke," Naruto started again. He was going to do it now. He was going to confess to Sasuke in the laundry room. The place doesn't matter as long as the words of love come out.

"Mmm?"

"Sasuke, I – " Naruto stopped as his stomach growled very loudly, protesting to be fed at once and breaking the important moment. Sasuke laughed at the primal sound and dragged a stuttering and protesting and embarrassed Naruto to the kitchen then taking out the platter of left over pizzas from the warming drawer. "Here have a bite," Sasuke said as he handed Naruto a slice of pizza.

"Sasuke, I," Naruto started again as he took the slice before letting the statement trail and reluctantly biting a piece from the pizza. The moment was lost. It was probably better. This way he could plan how to tell him. He'd make a dinner reservation or take Sasuke to a recital. There was one in two days. _Yes, then I'll tell him. Then I'll make him fall in love with me._ With his mind made up, he indulged into the pizza heartily. "I'm hungry."

That was by the end of February almost four years ago, the last night before Sasuke disappeared purposely.

Naruto leaned his head against the cold metal door as he took out his key. It wasn't uncommon for Sasuke to disappear. He had taken leaves before, ranging from two days to a fortnight.

Naruto had waited the following day for Sasuke, thinking he would come back home soon enough. The note had just said, 'I went out.' But as the day passed and the moon came out, Sasuke didn't come back. Naruto had been worried and terrified and immediately called Itachi. Nevertheless, search couldn't be made until forty-eight hours. It had been agonizing just pacing around Sasuke's apartment. But before the forty-eight hour had struck, the Uchiha's cousin, Hotaru, called. A missive from Sasuke had arrived on her post.

Naruto had been utterly depressed and lost in state soon after that. Just when he was going to tell him… Sasuke conveniently disappeared.

_You just know when to pick a time, Sasuke._Naruto lightly banged his head against the metal door, cursing inwardly as he unlocked the door. He took off his shoes and placed it in the shoe cabinet by the entryway then took a pair of black slippers. He slid the entryway doors open, casting light into the dark sitting room. He moved towards the left wall and turned the light knob before sliding the entryway doors closed.

The sitting room looked absolutely the same. The wide screen television was even the same old model. And it was still placed by the wall, facing the kitchen. A black leather couch faced the television and the ivory fainting couch was on the side, perpendicular to the other couch. As he moved forward wanting to feel one of the couches, he noticed the mess of papers around the coffee table. He moved around the fainting couch and stepped onto the circle of papers. As he leaned down, he couldn't help picking up one torn picture.

It was a picture of him. He quickly grabbed the rest of the torn papers. It was all about him, about his exploits. Dread quickly filled him as horrible thoughts rained in him. Sasuke must have been angry and disappointed and disgusted with him to tear all the articles. _No_, this couldn't be happening. _Not now_. He needed to find Sasuke, to explain at least. But first he needed to clean this, to dump this stuff. These were the past and he was done doing that. It wasn't until now that he realized just how gravely stupid his stunt was. As he stared at the pile of torn pieces, it was blatant that the cons were heavier than the pros.

He picked up all the pieces and scooped it on his shirt and dumped it on the kitchen's bin. He moved the furniture to be sure not a piece had escaped his cleaning. When he saw not a piece anymore, he moved from the kitchen and into the hallway.

As he was about to open the laundry room, he heard snores coming from his previous bedroom. '_Sasuke?'_ he wondered as he moved in front of it. As he opened the door into the dark bedroom, he couldn't help muttering under his breath, "It doesn't seem like I was the only one snoring loudly." The snores were really annoyingly loud. This was what a bulldozer on the loose sounded like. He couldn't help chuckling at the irony. Sasuke, himself was a snorer now.

Wanting to surprise him, Naruto turned the light to very dim. Excited and trying to contain his amusement, he slowly moved forward by the bed. "Sasuke," he said as he threw the covers off. The man didn't move and just continued to snore in his sleep.

_Typica__l_, he thought. Irritated that the man wasn't waking up and briefly noticing the shortened black hair, he grabbed a shoulder and swiftly turned the man.

_That should wake him up._

Surprised, he caught the shoulders again and shook the man. "Wake up! Wake up!" he ordered. "Wake up!"

"Huuugh?" was the sleepy answer, eyelids starting to slide open.

"Who are you?" Naruto demanded to a pair of unfamiliar black eyes before punching the living day lights out of the just awakened stranger. Staring at the fallen man, he muttered, "Oh shit. What have I done?"

**#**

Naruto heavily paced around the sitting room as he waited. Clearly distraught by the thoughts that were storming in his mind, he unconsciously bit his thumb. The sleeping man had been almost naked and only wearing boxers. _Did Sasuke have a lover? _His teeth sunk deeper onto his thumb, clearly upset by that thought.

_Or a new flatmate, perhaps? _That wasn't as upsetting as the first one but still he couldn't accept that Sasuke was living with someone else.

Where was Sasuke? That was the biggest question in his mind. _Did he leave again? Or had he moved? _

"Noo-o!" he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Was that why he isn't here?"

_But… but the furniture were the same. Even the position was the same. And the code was the same…_

_Or… _His mind instantly whirred back to his first thought. Had he been too late and Sasuke had gotten a lover? He desperately hoped not. Very upset, he curled his fist atop his mouth, stopping the trembling of his lips. His heart shook at that very unpleasant idea. '_Please, just not a lover or a husband. Oh… just no. Please,'_ he pleaded to the heavens. This was too much. '_Not again, I'm not going to lose Sasuke again. No, I'm not – I don't want him to be with anyone._ _He's my happy ending,_' he said sternly to the heavens. '_So no one, no one other than me will make him happy. I'm his happiness!_'

Convinced that the heavens would obey his will, he sat on the fainting couch, Sasuke's favourite couch, and waited for the other man to arrive.

He didn't have to wait long as the man appeared beneath the archway connecting the kitchen and sitting room.

"I'm sorry about earlier," Naruto said, his hand pointing towards the man's blue ringed eye. Now under bright light, he could see those eyes weren't black but brown. "I thought you were Sasuke then suddenly you weren't…"

The man approached the couch and cordially stretched out his hand, introducing his self, "I'm Eric. Lyndon Eric. What's your name?"

"Naruto. Namikaze Naruto," Naruto introduced as he accepted the pale hand, quite relieved that man didn't seem to be going to sue him. "I'm really sorry about that. I think you should put some ice at least." He moved towards the fridge and took out an iced tray before opening a cabinet to grab a Ziploc.

"I must have really scared you earlier. Sasuke probably hadn't had time to tell you about me."

"No, he hadn't," Naruto agreed, leaving out the fact that he had just seen Sasuke by chance last Friday night to stop his execution. "Here, this should help with the pain and bruising."

"You must be very close to Sasuke. You know where stuff are," Eric commented as he took the ice pack.

Naruto tinted as he bit his lip, hesitating on how to answer. "Uhm…"

Eric gave a chuckle. "You don't have to be embarrassed about it. I'm glad he found someone like you." Naruto gave a nervous and relieved chuckle in return. He didn't have the heart to correct the man's assumption. It was only a matter of time, anyways. Well, at least Eric wasn't Sasuke's lover. Or was he before?

"Tell you, just a tip mind you. Don't ever give him any kind of goldfish as a present," Eric said before stressing, "He doesn't take it too well."

Alarmed and confused with the advice, Naruto asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"Yeah, you probably don't know about. But almost a year ago, the night I found Sasuke, it turned out Sasuke's goldfish was eaten by a wild eagle," Eric said before adding, "He must have really liked his goldfish."

"Er, why do you say that?"

Eric knotted his brows for a while as he decided if he should continue. "I'm not sure if I should tell you. Sasuke looked fine earlier when I saw him. But you seem really close to Sasuke so you could probably help him in case it happens again. This stuff, not many people really tell their family about unless they witness it like during or after. So…" he trailed as he looked to Naruto's searching and wanting to understand look. Resigning, Eric continued, "Well, Sasuke must be pretty attached to his goldfish because he – he…"

"Eric, please tell me," Naruto coaxed. "I want to help Sasuke in whatever way I can and the way you're acting…" He paused as he took a sharp inhale, remembering the scars imprinted all over Sasuke's back. "It seems like something awful and serious happened to Sasuke."

"It is a depressing serious matter," Eric confided reluctantly upon those worried blue eyes. "He was completely devastated and decided to jump on a bridge."

"HE WHAT?" Naruto exclaimed, completely surprised.

"You can't tell him that I told you," Eric rushed. Naruto nodded gravely as he gulped the astonishing fact. Sasuke jumped off the bridge! He jumped from a freaking bridge! "Can you tell me when exactly this was?"

"October 4. I was returning home from a convention," Eric informed before noticing his companion had gone stricken. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, just shocked is all," Naruto said quietly. _Oh, shit_. He made Sasuke jump off a bridge. Damn it, Sasuke loved him. He came back for him. And what did he do? Made him go jump a bridge. _Oh, shit._ He had been truly blind, dense, and stupid on the highest form. And he had been angry for Sasuke, cursing him even. _Oh, fuck._ He even wrecked the flower he had given him. Would Sasuke ever forgive him?

"So, remember no goldfish. I tried giving him one but he didn't want another one. He didn't even look at the ones on the pet store."

"Yeah, I'll stick that one on my mind. I'm glad you told me. I don't want to lose Sasuke ever."

"Indeed, every life is important. It's such a waste and disappointment if he died like that. Kind of regretful, too."

Naruto agreed. "Say Eric, how long did Sasuke stay with you?"

"Just for about a month before he started Drifting. I'm an astronomer in Rockbourne, I have a flat by the observatory. And it is definitely smaller than this place," Eric said, smiling a little. "I was hesitant to let him go then. He must have really have liked his goldfish to starve himself near to death. And when he said goodbye, he was still thin looking like a skeleton. I even insisted he stay one more week before he started to travel. But he wouldn't stay anymore, said he needed to move away. But it looks like he's settled nice here, eh?"

"Yeah," Naruto answered softly. Sasuke looked nicely settled without him. "I'm sorry for all the questions but could you answer one more?"

"Sure, shoot."

"How did you find Sasuke?"

"Oh, you mean this apartment?" Eric clarified. "He talked about his company once. And its name was easy to remember, ne? Architect, Arkhitekton, it's not that hard to forget. So I called his office and he said I could visit after my convention. Well, I got carried away last night and went star gazing then when it was almost dawn, I stayed even more. I also liked watching the daybreak. By the time I got here, it was around seven I think. Then I was too tired to go back to the hotel so Sasuke offered for me to stay here. Now that I think about it, tomorrow's my cut-off from the hotel."

"Oh, I see," Naruto commented, a little deflated that this man had found Sasuke easier than he did. And the midnight architect was just in the next town all these past months. "Thank you for confiding about Sasuke. I really appreciate it. You don't know just how invaluable he is to me."

"Geez, it's nothing. Just take care of him. Show him you care but also say it. Words and actions go hand in hand. And the impact is stronger and deeper isn't it if they're together?" Eric said and Naruto agreed with him and took the advice to heart. Suddenly, the kitchen clock started to chime softly, signalling that Sunday was over and Monday was starting.

"Oh no," Eric said.

"Is there a problem?"

"Sasuke – he – "

"What? Sasuke's what? Eric, tell me," Naruto pleaded, feeling very alarmed and worried. Eric broke off from his grasp and left the kitchen, only to return shortly with a note in hand. "I – I'm supposed to go there. He woke me up shortly to tell me to pick him up there if he wasn't home by the time I woke up. Do you know where that is? I'm not very familiar here. Could you go and fetch him?"

Naruto nodded before he opened the folded note. His eyes widened as he read the location. Never in his mind had crossed to go to such – such a demented place. "Fuck."

**#**

Sasuke stood below the wide golden archway entrance. The blinking red neon sign of Pirates was looming above him and its sizzling sound was enchanting all folks of sorts to come inside. He was a fresher when he last went to such a place. And the ending of that entire folly wasn't pretty; he ended up in the hospital.

"Coming, honey?" a dark skinned patron asked, partway as he was about to go inside. "We'll be inside," the man behind him added saucily, eyeing the midnight blue architect unashamedly. "You're welcome to join us, anytime." With a wink and a charming smile, the two went inside. A steady stream of well- dressed people were passing him and moving into the huge silver doors.

After a half-minute of indecision, Sasuke followed the flow. With the brief reflecting lights from the colourful laser lights as the only guide, he sauntered onwards while encountering a few indecent and unwanted attentions. A flash of white, a flash of red, a dart of hand, and a mist of moan were all he could make of the reflections he caught glimpses upon the dark mirror hallway.

The club was on the roll, heavy bass music blaring from the overhead speakers. And the mass of people that littered every spot and shadow were very appreciative of the loud music that was droning their own lustful sounds.

He moved towards the long white bar. Catching the eye of the bartender, he took a stool and sat down. The bartender winked at him and slid a glass of vodka to his hands. Approving, he gave a nod and took a long sip. It tasted nasty but that was what he needed at this very moment.

A gaudy middle-aged woman moved beside him. She smiled enticingly, boldly cupped his cheek and traced his jaw. He disengaged her hold and shook his head. He wasn't interested in her.

His eyes roamed the huge room and glanced at the stage of dancing people. The young ones were shaking their bodies against the loud techno grit hop music. A mini battle was taking place at the middle and people of all ages waving their bets openly. A swing of hips, a bounce of chest, a wave of arms and a fast ball change. The crowd roared and an exchange of money and bumps ensued.

Smoke swiftly filled his view, the teasing sweaty bodies beginning to fade against the white vapour cloud. Irritated, he looked to the left. Invitingly, the red head man blew out smoke rings towards him before offering the lit cigarette. Sasuke shook his head. He didn't like cigarettes at all. Wanting to move away from the cigarette smelling man, he emptied his glass and moved towards the throng of people against the LED poles.

A woman fanned her skirt to him. "Hello," she said silkily before grabbing a pole and sliding against it, pressing forward, back and forward. She continued to entice him, forward, backward, and forward. Once the bass music changed to an erotic techno pop, she sashayed alluringly towards him with her hips bopping perfectly in tune. Her warm hand slid on his waist as she circled him, her palms gliding across his muscles. In return, he snaked an arm on her sinew body, pressing her back towards him and completely feeling each other.

She began to slide upwards then she slid downwards her arms kept above her head and her thighs splayed open. Again, she slid up then down, up then down, letting her soft body feel the slopes of his body. Then sometimes she leisurely passed the middle part, tantalizing him to desire her. She twirled and popped her chest towards him with their lips almost touching. Teasingly, she snaked her body downwards her fingernails scraping against his leather jeans. She pursed her lips, licking it wet. "Mmm,"she breathed.

She stood and turned her ass high up in the air, shaking vigorously in front of him. Dutifully, he slapped those teasing cheeks. "Oh, ah, yes," the woman moaned lustily against the stinging aggression, arousal starting to leak between her legs. He squeezed both soft cheeks then rubbed his hips against her, his hands tracing her curves. She pushed back and ground heavily against him with his hand openly cupping her surgically implanted breast.

Across the room, men and women twirled around the poles and chairs. Against the hypnotizing sultry sounds, numerous hips swayed as hands respectively groped each sensuous muscle and grinding in rhythm against each other. The entire club was attaining the peak atmosphere of heady delicious rush as a deafening chorus of lustful moans resounded from every sweaty flesh and limb.

Sasuke took the glass of whiskey and downed it all in one gulp. _Ah_, his throat stung. He drank another glass. And another one. His throat stung, his eyes stung. He licked his lips wet, tasting the nasty poison and revelling in it. The taste was perfect upon his lips, bitter, biting and alcoholic.

He glanced to the right and noticed a brunette, watching him three chairs down. A predatory glint upon those leering eyes was all he needed to saunter three chairs down. 'Finally, someone to play with tonight,' he sighed inwardly. Provocatively, he leaned and whispered warmly to the brunette. "Are you clean?" He licked the soft earlobe and cupped the nape, twirling the deep hazelnut locks.

"My name's Takumi. But you can call me Baby or… something dirty," the brunette answered huskily, utmost pleased with the attention. Sasuke kissed the pale jaw as he dipped his finger on the dirty martini before pressing his wet fingers against the brunette's lips and encircled his waist. "And who will I be this night?" he breathed against the pale ear, giving it a tantalizing generous lick.

…_I left my boy back home. I don't love him no more._

"Ren," the brunette moaned tugging on to the midnight blue locks and fumbling on all the buttons. After a hasty removal of all their clothes and heated wet kisses, they moved towards the cheap bed, the only furniture in the dim blue lighted room. Pale hands roamed freely between their naked bodies, their breaths mingling as they kissed fervently again and again. With wanton silky thighs open wide and a soft needy command, Sasuke sheathed himself within the warm and tight crevice. "Ngh-ahh!" they both gasped from sharp pain and intense sensual gratification. Without pause, Sasuke moved. In and out, in and out, he repeated the pleasurable motion. The loud slapping of skin was in perfect melody against their shameless moans. In and out, in and out, his thrusts grew deeper, harder and erratic. "Ah!" the arced brunette screamed as a stream of white fluid burst between them. Unrelenting with the nerve curling motion, soon Sasuke, too, breathed release.

…_Bring the drugs baby, I could bring my pain. I got my heart right here._

"Wanna try some?" Takumi asked as Sasuke assessed the innocently looking bulky aluminium pipe upon the brunette's pale hand, white tendrils of almost colourless smoke escaping from the bit. After some deliberation he took hold of it and inhaled its vapour, tasting a bitter edge. Very exhilarated, he harshly grabbed the brunette and exhaled into his bruised mouth. His insides were energized and all fired up. Taken with the feeling, he inhaled again and again into the pipe.

…_Just let me motherfucking love you. Listen ma I'll give you all I got._

"How are you feeling?" Takumi asked, nipping on Sasuke's ear before licking his pinna with his fingers trailing and scraping along the nipple line. "Bit sleepy," Sasuke answered lazily, barely feeling the teasing sensations. "Then sleep, my hands and mouth won't be leaving your skin for a bit longer," was Takumi's promise, his hand already trailing downwards, between and inside a puckered opening.

…_So tell me you love me only for tonight even though you don't love me, just tell me you love me._

"Faster," Sasuke ordered with eyes nearly closed, gripping the brunette in between his thighs and eagerly taking control. He moved the bowed head wildly, pulling towards and pushing away. With each thrust, he went deeper and his engorged head hitting the back of Takumi's throat. It felt good. It felt wild.

…_Bring your love baby, I could bring my shame._

A trail of kisses traced Sasuke's shoulders before that pair of red lips settled on greedily sucking a rosy bud of nipple. "Mmm… I want to mark you," the brunette murmured between licks, sucks and kisses. Gripping the male's hardened length, Sasuke muttered his approval, "Go ahead."

…_Bring your body baby, I could bring you fame. And that's my motherfucking words too._

Hours later, when Sasuke went back down to the club, the music seemed to be louder and blaring right against his ears. With the thunderous sounds ruthlessly ploughing through his skull, he slowly moved towards the bar and signalled for a couple more rounds of alcohol.

He tried to call out the bartender but his words came out somewhat incoherent. So he tucked a couple of ten silver notes under his empty glass and very slowly stood up, glancing across the hazy jungle of flesh. Though still dancing, a large number of men and women were already in various stages of undress all over the room. He chuckled drunkenly; he was one too.

…_I'll give you all I got, get me off of this. I need confidence in myself._

As he stumbled outside and onto the deserted street with his top unbuttoned all the way and his hair mussed and damp, he felt downright unclean and his troubled heart felt heavier. Leaning onto the wall and using it as support, he walked a few feet away from the club. Then when his feet couldn't move a step anymore, he slid down crumpled, waiting within the shadow.

As he was resting his flushed cheek against the cold cement, he caught sight of a blond getting off an icy blue pickup truck across the street. He squinted against the dim yellowed lighting and tried to decide if it was a trick of the light or a hallucination that the blond looked strikingly exact like Naruto. Surely, he was dreaming right now. Or maybe, he died and he's in paradise? _No,_ he was just drunk and imagining him.

But the man looked extremely corporeal and what more? He was coming towards him. Sasuke closed his eyes for a second and the next he knew the man was crouching beside him, a frown on his forehead. "Sasuke, you look effing shitty tonight," Naruto said, thankful to see him again in one piece and alive.

"Whoomahnghier," Sasuke accused inarticulately, his pointed hand only lifting up for a few inches before falling back down. Laughing at the slurred and failed accusation, Naruto tipped his chin up. "And you're a smelly drunkard sitting on the street." But no matter how much inebriated he was Sasuke could still give a disapproving grunt and glare.

"Have you had enough air to clear your head?" Naruto asked.

"Hyah."

Trusting the word of a drunken man, Naruto said, "Then come on." He looped his arm under one of Sasuke's arm and heaved. "Oops," he said as they fell back down. "Well, it seems we should sit a little longer until you could function again," he deduced smartly as he sat back beside the drunken architect. "Sorry, I can't carry you, Sasuke. You're too heavy in drunken dead weight."

Upset at the remark, Sasuke tried to shake his head in disapproval but couldn't. So, he settled for a very slurred,"Nath fhath."

"I'm not saying you are." Naruto sat beside him, chuckling, and then moving his hand to close the unfastened shirt of the drunken architect. "You're going to get cold and raped like…" The words left him as soon as he noticed numerous dark marks across Sasuke's skin under the dim lighting. "Sasuke, who did this to you?"

"Oohuah, khishesh - khiiish from - "

Naruto's fist was beside a startled architect, the abrupt loud sound stunning him to silence for a few seconds. "Nyharuto, whiy yah here?"

Ignoring the question and driven completely with regret, anger and remorse, Naruto cupped his drunken companion. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, Sasuke," he repented, his forehead leaning against the other. "I didn't mean any of it. If I could take it all back, if I could undo all of it I would. Sasuke, I'm sorry. So – sorry," he sobbed, his tears cascading down to snowy skin and drunken midnight eyes. "I'm so stupid, Sasuke I know that now. All those, all those times Sasuke, I can't take it all back but – but I want to. I want to make it all fine. I'm sorry…"

When the first drop touched Sasuke's skin, he blinked, uncertain as to what to do. Soon enough, the drops continued trailing down on his face. He tried to touch the root of the wetness with his fingers and brushed them away. But his fingers couldn't reach it and the salty wetness was raining on him even more. Giving up trying to brush it away and opting for a more finessed and tactful action, he smiled drunkenly before he started to sing, "Rhain, rhain gho ahwaay hum aahnoher dhay…" But the wetness didn't seem to stop and was still rolling down. Irritated at the wet feeling of his face, he sang even more loudly, "Rhain, rhain gho ahwaay…"

At the drunken drones of the children's rhyme, Naruto half-sobbed, half-laughed. "What a pair we are," Naruto commented as he wiped away the wetness on both their faces. Now somewhat calmed, he set the unfastened shirt closed as fast as he could manage. "Don't come back there again, Sasuke."

"Whiy?" Sasuke asked, relishing the freedom from the wetness of his face.

"'Cause no good will come out from there. It's an illegal place," Naruto informed as he sat back beside the drunken man.

"Hilighal," Sasuke repeated but it came out as a tone of question and sounding as if he never had heard of the word ever before.

"Yes, illegal," Naruto emphasized as if giving a talk to a schoolboy. "Everything inside is illegal though why the whole place and business are legal I don't even know. Someone up in the system must be fucked up in the head. I don't even go there."

"Whiy?" Sasuke asked again, trying to clear his drunken mind to piece the words faster.

"Because it's bad," Naruto reasoned sternly. "And you could get caught up in there and you'll be hurt. Just what will Itachi think? No, just what will he do once he finds out."

"Hitachi?" Sasuke frowned at the name he heard, still in the process of registering the words.

"Yes, you're older and only brother. He's a bobby, Sasuke, for fuck's sake. A bloody inspector! He's even stricter than Kakashi most of the time. Don't try going there, okay? And if you really can't stay away, then tell me. I'm going to kidnap you and trap you far, far away from here, you hear me?"

"Mhmut ish ghud," Sasuke argued after a moment or two as his mind pieced the information.

"Even so, Sasuke," Naruto admonished the twenty –seven year old drunken man. "I'll just whip you up something better than that place. Trust me, there are finer and better things than that place."

"Huhlyk whemun?" Sasuke suggested while smiling crookedly and drunkenly.

"What?" Naruto almost laughed at the way Sasuke was saying stuff. It reminded him of babies gurgling and babbling. Maybe he should have gotten the raven drunk before.

"Whemun," Sasuke repeated, stressing the syllables and coming out more slurred. "Yah lyk em."

"Oh women? You mean the women on the papers."

"Nou," Sasuke objected before clarifying, "Hall whemen whit youh." Finally understanding Sasuke was pertaining to him being a man-whore, Naruto tried his best to explain. "Well, I don't like them like that Sasuke. I don't like them that much either. But you left again and I didn't know where you were."

Confused with the answer, Sasuke uttered a stressed, "Huuh?"

"Sasuke, I know what I did was stupid and my reason stupider. But there were so many selfish reasons at first. But you know what? I couldn't help thinking about you."

"Fhafanee," Sasuke said utmost sarcastically and not believing one word.

Ignoring the remark, Naruto continued seriously, "Sasuke, I kept doing it because… because I wanted you to see me on the papers. For you to know that I'm alive and to know where I am. For you to stop me, to scold me. You're with the better brain out of the two of us. So - I thought it was for the best. But it's not. But at least, you came and saved me the other day. So maybe it was worth a long, long shot. Even still, you should have stopped me from having stupid ideas like those, Sasuke. Just look where it got us."

After eight heartbeats and when Sasuke's mind had wired the entire paragraph, Sasuke asked in consternation, "S'all fhor mi?"

"Yeah, it was all because of you. At first, I was angry at you. Then I saw the brighter side of things. But it wasn't that bright at all in actuality."

"Chraazy fhool," Sasuke mumbled as he felt something in his drunken state lightened. Naruto laughed at the comment. "Just like that, Sasuke. Exactly like that. You should have said that a year ago. Maybe should have punched me even."

"Fhool. Fhooool," Sasuke repeated with drunken gusto. Naruto laughed more. If anyone passed them, he knew they wouldn't think of him as crazy but rather it was Sasuke who acting crazy. "Only for you," Naruto muttered under his breath as he turned his head away and blushed. Then he felt a head leaning on him. "Oi, Sasuke don't sleep. I told you I can't carry you. Wake up! Wake up."

"Grrh?" Sasuke answered tiredly as he slowly opened his eyes to a half-lid.

"Want to sleep?" Naruto inquired as he forcefully rubbed Sasuke's cheek and chest to wake him up.

"Hyah."

"Then, come on," Naruto ordered as he hauled Sasuke up and supported the inebriated man with his body, holding him as close as possible. "Come on, Sasuke. I'm not superman. One foot in front of the other, there you go." Even though frustrated at being treated like a child and invalid, Sasuke couldn't make his feet walk normally as he would like. The walk towards the truck was slow and very agonizing.

"Almost there, Sasuke," Naruto said as they rounded towards the passenger side.

"Ngh." Sasuke tried to make him stop moving but the word wasn't forming out. Inside him, he could feel an unstoppable fast uprising of acid. With all his remaining might, he pushed his head away from the man and vomited onto the sidewalk. "Ehckk."

Naruto groused loudly, "Heck no, Sasuke." The thought of having a drunken Sasuke was losing its charm as the said person continued heaving his stomach remains while Naruto held his hair back for him. "Come on. Spew it all out." It was definitely going to be a long, smelly night. "That's it, Sasuke." He patted him lightly on the back.

…_So what, we get drunk? So what, we smoke weed? _

…_We're just having fun. We don't care who sees._

…


	6. V

**Carpe Diem (Fall in Love With Me)**

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

…

It was almost ten o'clock in the evening when Sasuke opened the main doors of his apartment building and stepped inside. As usual, the young freckled porter greeted his arrival and he, out of courtesy, returned the greeting before moving into the tenant's lift.

It was exactly ten o'clock when he finished entering his security code and lift started moving upwards to his floor. The latest he had arrived back from the Morino Detective Agency was nine o'clock but not today.

Hours earlier, around three in the afternoon, he had woken up to a dull annoying and nagging headache and a very foul bitter taste in his mouth and the only one to blame for that was him. He had gone out to Pirates and smashed his self shitless, a little celebration and rebellion on his part. His personal party was all good until it got to the part where he was outside and Naruto had seen him very intoxicated and talking very loose and funny. He was ashamed to remember it, more ashamed that he had acted as such in front of Naruto, no less! _Just great_.

But he was more embarrassed with what happened afterwards. He really wanted to hide from the world and never go out again. He wanted to erase all those moments but life wasn't easy like that. What he could do was put the memory into the back burner and move forward. Then again, life wasn't easy as that. Try as he might, the night just kept on replaying on his mind the rest of the day which was the reason he was coming home late and he hadn't even finished his job. He still had half of the list of files to be pulled out. He would have finished by midnight at the rate he was going and he would have done exactly that had Ibiki not interfered and ordered him to go home. 'It was late,' Ibiki had said to him, already dressed in his night shirt and night cap. In his whole life, he didn't want to see ever again the unfamiliar get-up of his boss. The memory was still fresh on his mind and it was truly a disturbing sight to remember.

Tonight, his mind was full of moments he didn't want to savour but they all kept coming back after a short while, tormenting him with mortification and regret. He wished that at least he wouldn't dream of those. That would be really troublesome.

_Ding!_ The elevator doors opened to fifth floor, he got off.

At least earlier, when he awakened, he was saved from embarrassment and was all alone in the apartment. Apparently from the message on his electronic blackboard, Eric had gone back to his hotel and moved back to Rockbourne. Sasuke had wanted to question the man about what transpired last night that ended up with Naruto fetching him. But he couldn't do that, because he didn't know the astronomer's number, not yet.

And Naruto… he hadn't left a message which Sasuke completely understood. Naruto must be repulsed or at least annoyed by last night's events and wasn't in the right state of mind to at least inform him that he had left. He seldom left him messages anyway.

Sasuke slid in his key onto the keyhole and unlocked his door and went inside the entryway. He toed off his shoes before picking both up and putting it inside the shoe cabinet. He almost blinked when he caught sight of a pair of shoes he certainly didn't own. He grabbed one and inspected it. It was sized eleven. _Eleven? Who had a pair of size eleven?_ And what was that noise? _Is that the telly?_

He didn't think more of the shoe and focused entirely on the thought that someone else was inside his apartment and was watching with his television. Curious and wary, he quietly slid the entryway doors open and moved into his dim lighted sitting room. The television was on and the volume was relatively loud but there wasn't anybody watching. He moved to turn it off but was halted by the sound of metal. He swiftly turned his head towards his kitchen.

Lo and behold! His cooktop was turned on and a steaming pot was sitting on the blue flames. Just who was ransacking his house? He moved to his kitchen, halting by the mini L-shaped island that holds his cooking equipment when he saw movement on the other side of it. He quickly moved to accost the unwanted and pompous moocher.

"Naruto," he said as he looked down to the crouched man picking up the fallen casseroles and long handled spoon off the floor. "What are – "

Startled, Naruto looked up. "Sasuke," he breathed out, tremendously relieved to see him. "Welcome home."

Stunned by the greeting, Sasuke stayed there looking down to his metallic blue eyed childhood friend. 'Welcome home,' those two words that he had longed to hear from those lips were now said to him, almost a year too late. But still, 'welcome home', those two words held a deeper meaning to him and the immense power of that meaning melted his steeled resolve about the blond. "I'm home," he thickly whispered the delayed greeting.

Naruto smiled before he bowed his head and retrieved the fallen items. "Sasuke, you shouldn't work this hard. It's already ten," he said before confiding, "I kind of panicked earlier but Neji reassured me that you were just working. Do you always work this late?"

"Sometimes," Sasuke answered and collected himself. He even cleared his throat. "Doesn't your restaurant close at ten? Why are you here?"

"I didn't work today. But I got called during rush hour when Ayame and Haku suddenly got sick. Then when the flow of customers slowed Sakura came by…," Naruto continued to ramble as he moved to deposit the fallen utensils to one of the corner sinks.

But Sasuke's ears became deaf as soon as he heard the name 'Sakura'. He never did like the name Sakura coming out of Naruto's lips. No, that woman, that name wasn't even supposed to be in the same sentence with Naruto. '_Sakura_,' he thought irately. Instead of a famous brunette fashion model, it was a pink haired paramedic who was a patron of Chōji's. All this time, she was still in Naruto's life. _That woman, the annoying little cockroach_.

"Sasuke, are you alright?" Naruto asked upon noticing the lack of response. "Sasuke?"

"I'm just tired from work," Sasuke reasoned, trying to control his self.

"That's why you shouldn't work hard. Your previous schedule was fine enough, wasn't it? So, better just stick with it, okay?" Naruto advised as he turned the fire to a low. "Hey, I already made supper, spicy coconut chicken curry. Do you want to eat now or wash up first?"

"Yes, I can see that," Sasuke said as he stared onto the transparent lid. "Earlier, I was planning to strangle the unknown moocher that invited himself in."

"Uh , I – " Naruto chuckled sheepishly. "Well, I was waiting for you."

"I wasn't expecting someone waiting for me." Though unintended, Sasuke's words carried more than one meaning. And like a cold splash of water, a forceful shift of awkwardness descended them.

'_I was waiting for you all this time. I have been waiting for you all these years,_' was what Naruto would like to say but would his words be enough? Would it be taken as truth? Would Sasuke even believe him?

"Well," Naruto started nervously, treading carefully as he could. "It has been sometime. So…"

"I'll wash up first," Sasuke decided, wanting to escape and inadvertently dismissing the sudden awkwardness he brought and moved to open the kitchen door leading to the hallway.

Had he not gripping the counter hard enough, Naruto would have slumped on the floor at the sudden relief. He had, for a second, thought Sasuke would throw him out or worse, throw the curry at him. As Sasuke was about to leave, Naruto couldn't help commenting, "Sasuke, you go to work in jeans now?" It was his attempt to relive the casual atmosphere.

Without turning or halting in his steps, Sasuke replied, "Some days." And the door swung shut behind him.

**#**

Sasuke sat down on his bed and rested his chin upon his folded hands. In barely a day and just barely even five minutes with Naruto, Sasuke's steeled determination of a new life, a new relationship melted and was in an upheaval. And all of it was just because Naruto was in his kitchen, in his apartment. How was he going to last? The sealing of his long running delusion was fresh and still healing. He didn't need this encounter to rip it open.

But he couldn't just throw Naruto out. Sasuke promised himself he was going to be a proper childhood friend. What proper friend throws one out? Nonetheless, he couldn't help himself from reacting too emotionally about just everything. Like that paramedic brandishing a shock of horrible pink as hair.

'_Sakura,_' Sasuke gritted his teeth upon that name. He couldn't even stop himself from being hostile as he imagined numerous ways how to dispose of her just because of that single event that made him green with utmost jealousy.

Ever since that rainy November night Naruto had told him that he was moving out, things had gradually changed between the two of them. Sasuke had tried to act normal and nonchalant as best he could but Naruto kept on turning away from him even as far as suddenly running out of the room. He didn't even invite him at the house warming party.

It was about a fortnight since Naruto had moved out and four days after the house warming party that Sasuke finally decided he couldn't take it anymore and drove towards the two storey pale blue house. He couldn't remember how long was he standing there, banging the door and ringing the doorbell. He knew Naruto was at home; there were lights inside. And just when he was about to leave, the door opened.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked croakily with his nose reddened and dripping. He coughed before wiping the running clear liquid with his sleeve. "What are you doing here?"

"You're sick," Sasuke stated as he sauntered inside, grabbing the sickly blond with an obvious intent to lay him down. "You move out and now you're sick. And you rarely get sick," he fussed. "Where's your bedroom? You're quite warm. You shouldn't even be out of bed."

"Uhm, upstairs and you were banging on my door."

"Come on," Sasuke said as they trekked upstairs, ignoring the point that he indeed was banging on the door. After plumping the pillows, he made Naruto lay down without resistance and tucked him inside the covers and turning the room temperature to cool. "Since when were you sick?" Sasuke asked as he glanced around for any medication. "Never mind that, where are your medicine?"

"Medicine?" Naruto repeated, closing his eyes.

"Yeah, medicine. Drugs to alleviate your runny nose and fever and that sore throat. Ah, wait don't sleep yet. Where is your house key?"

"Drawer," Naruto mumbled tiredly.

"What's your house code?" Sasuke asked as he took the set of keys. "Same."

"I'll be back shortly." Sasuke he pocketed the key and inspected the fridge before going out to the nearest convenience store. When he came back, he quickly made thickened soup with bite sized chicken chunks.

"Naruto," he said as he shook the blond man. "Wake up for a bit."

"Naw," Naruto mumbled sleepily.

"Naruto, come on," Sasuke insisted as he forcefully hoisted Naruto into a sitting position then positioned the pillow upright. He unpacked the newly bought aural thermometer and placed it in the ear canal. After a moment, the beep sounded with a reading of thirty-eight point six degree Celsius. "Here, soup," he informed as he gave Naruto the spoon and placed the bed tray in front of the sick man.

"I want to sleep," Naruto grumbled as he started to scoop out the soup.

Sasuke placed a new box of tissue on the bedside table before turning to him. "When was the last time you even ate, huh? Last night? Breakfast? Just eat so you could take your medicine then you could back to sleep."

"What this?" Naruto asked as he held the cup.

"Juice. It has kiwi, tomato, grape, apple, orange, pineapple and… green tea and broccoli."

"Wh - what?" Naruto stuttered at the two last ingredients.

"Don't you like it? You need vitamins and minerals. Or do you rather take them in capsules?"

Gingerly, Naruto took a sip and tasted it. "I do like it," he answered as he looked interestingly at the green liquid on his cup. "It's sweet and tangy."

"Good, then finish up. Here's the paracetamol," Sasuke said as he placed a tablet on the tray. "Is your nose still bothering you? I have antihistamine here. This should help you to sleep also." Naruto barely nodded as he finished the soup and dutifully took the two tablets. When the cup and bowl were cleaned, Sasuke took the bed tray and Naruto slid down, grabbing the pillow with him and tucking himself with the cover.

"I'll wake you from time to time, okay? Lie on you right for now, you have just eaten," Sasuke said before turning off the lights and moving downstairs again to wash the dishes. He explored every inch of the house then stayed on the couch. The following day, Wednesday, he busied himself with cleaning the house, doing the laundry, buying groceries and waking up the sick owner every four hours or so. By the end of the day, Naruto's fever had gone down and was able to move about before taking long naps again. So sensibly, the next morning he left the able man and went to work. But due to nagging worry, he came back later in the afternoon using his own copy of Naruto's house key.

He stood there silently for almost a minute just staring and staring at the two nude bodies upon the bed with the bedroom door wide open. He had a very hard time averting his eyes and when he finally did, as silently as he came, he quickly left.

Sasuke shook his head as he chastised his self. He must stop thinking thoughts like jealousy. A good and proper friend wasn't like this. This was one of the wrong memories to recall. He should stop bothering himself with those kinds of stuff. He wasn't going to turn back. He was not going to obsess anymore. He wasn't living in a delusion anymore. He was the childhood friend. He needed to cool down and gather his wits. He walked from his bed and turned the curved faucets to full to quickly fill the tub.

It was foolish to go back and chase nothingness. He was sane and he was free. It had to be right. It was going to be alright. Their relationship was going to be alright. One step at a time, one day the Sasuke he had been would be gone forever. It was going to stay frozen as an unpleasant and learning memory.

Convinced and somehow calm, Sasuke lowered into the water, letting it pass his mouth and nose and resting just below his eyes. Now, Naruto was waiting for him. He was waiting for him for supper. He was waiting, just like those days of long ago.

**#**

"Don't you like it?" Naruto asked worriedly after noticing Sasuke barely ate any of the meal. "Is it too spicy?"

"I like it just fine," Sasuke assured as he properly laid his chopsticks down on its holder.

"But you're barely eating. Are you sick? Are you tired already? Do you want to sleep now?"

Sasuke shook his head and stayed silent. As much as he tried, the entire meal was awkward. The familiarity about this evening was overwhelming. It was one thing to be talking with Naruto in the hotel room, it was another thing when he was responding drunkenly but it was altogether another thing when Naruto was welcoming him, cooking for him, dining with him. It was just so much like the past. It was too similar. And that was scary in itself. It evoked what they had been, what Sasuke had been.

"Are you… uncomfortable with me?" Naruto inquired quietly as he intently studied the love of his life. Sasuke stayed his eyes on his plate and not answering. Even though in itself the evening was something he wanted, it was just consuming.

"Are you disgusted with me?" Naruto inquired apprehensively. "Is it because of what I've done? Of what I had become?

"I'm not… disgusted with you."

"Oh…" Then Naruto understood what it was. "You're ashamed and disappointed in me, aren't you? Even I with my own self, I am disappointed and ashamed. It was a stupid thing, Sasuke. And I'm… I'm really sorry about that. I regret it. I really do, Sasuke," he said as his hand slowly inched towards the other across the table. "But I can't make it - Can't you – Will you give me at least a chance?" he asked imploringly as his hand stopped an inch away from the other, hesitating if this gesture would be accepted or even needed in such a situation.

"Naruto, it's not that either," Sasuke consoled as he folded his hands together. He had noticed the other hand inching his way and the hesitation. "It's true I don't like what you did. But every human being isn't perfect. We all fuck up once in a while. But it's what you learn, what you realize that counts. And you're determination to not fall prey to it anymore." He gave a wry smile to make the situation lighter and less dismal. "I just smashed myself useless last night. The last time I went to such a place was when I was a fresher. I only lasted about ten - nine years."

'_Just like that_,' Naruto thought in awe. Sasuke just stated quite indifferently that he accepted Naruto no matter what he did. Who in their right mind would do that? A fresh wave of tears appeared upon Naruto's face. "Sasuke," he cried. "Why are you so kind?"

Sasuke shook his head, refuting Naruto's image of him. He lowered his eyes to his plate before he said quietly, "Don't compliment me because I am not. I just know what it feels like because I've been there. No, Naruto, I'm not being kind. You could describe it as selfishness on my part."

"Even so, you're still someone who is better than me," Naruto said as he wiped his tears with the back of his hand. "You're just awesome and I'm such a cry-baby," he commented, half chuckling at his self.

Sasuke wanted to tell him, it was the other way. That it was Naruto who was better than the two of them because he remained unashamed to tell and accept what unpleasant stuff he had done. It was him who was stronger than the two, standing right back up after falling down. But Sasuke didn't speak. He didn't want to change Naruto's view of him. He didn't want him to see him other than that, someone who was awesome and better.

A long stretch of silence reigned as they resumed eating. It was only when they were on the sitting room watching late night news with Naruto eating desert and Sasuke holding the remote, that it was broken.

"Naruto," Sasuke said as he turned the television to very low.

"Hmm?" Naruto questioned with the spoon still in his mouth.

"Why are you here?" Sasuke finally asked the thought had been nagging at the back of his mind.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No. Just answer the question, Naruto. Why did you come back here?"

"Oh," Naruto said, his lips lifting into a soft smile. "That's a silly question, Sasuke. You were so drunk last night I just had to come see you. I need to be here. What if you smashed yourself again? I need to be there – here," he said, explaining it as best he knew and could. But each person saw things differently and understood things differently.

"Is that so?" Sasuke remarked evenly, though inside he was very disappointed. He couldn't rebuke Naruto's reason because he knew it himself, he was a screw up. That's what everybody called him. That's what everybody saw in him. He could hear the whispers and taunts and ridicule. He could feel their disapproval and mocking glances. And the touches, those snaking touches that was full of scorn and lie. He was just a screw-up that nobody really wanted. He hated himself. He hated himself the most. He hated that he was such a royally fucked up man. He did try to make it right, to make it the way it was but he just ended fucking up things and fucking his life into a shitty mess. He doesn't ever learn and he kept on committing the same thing over and over again. He was a royally fucked up person.

If he wasn't, maybe Naruto wouldn't have bothered to come at all. Was that how Naruto saw him? He wasn't awesome and better, Naruto had lied. He was just another fucked up person to look after, to control and keep in check. Was he just another someone that needed redemption? Redemption? Was he even still in league with redemption?

"Yeah," Naruto answered as he faced his seatmate then his smile waned slowly as he took in the other's deep frown and angry expression. "Am I a bother?" When his seatmate didn't reply, he spoke louder, "Sasuke?"

"Naruto, I'm perfectly fine," Sasuke stated curtly as he stood up from the couch. "So, you don't have to worry about me. You can go home now. You know where the way out is. Please, see yourself out, now."

'_Please, see yourself out now__,'_ that sentence resounded in Naruto's mind and it hurt. Sasuke's blatant rejection hurt badly, biting like he had been shot by a gun at point blank. "You don't want me… here?"

"Just go out, Naruto." Sasuke didn't want to be reminded of things he had tried to forget and to atone. He wanted to escape from those binds but he couldn't and he still remained trapped, the shackles growing heavier and colder.

"Sasuke," Naruto cried as his eyes started to warm and his nose started to itch. "Sasuke…"

"I'm sorry. Just, please, go." Sasuke wouldn't turn and look at Naruto. His resolve was shaky right now.

"I don't understand, Sasuke," Naruto said, unmoving from his seat and tears starting to fall.

"I don't need a bloody babysitter! I'm fine on my own!" Sasuke yelled sharply, his carotid artery protruding prominently. "I was drunk, so what? I can do whatever bloody hell I want! I don't need you! So just get out! Get out!" In his anger, he threw the remote towards the seated man, striking the chest before bouncing to the floor.

Naruto stayed frozen, barely feeling the sharp pain. He had seen Sasuke like this once before, when he was caught up in the middle of a case that Naruto was on.

Sasuke had been so confused between the two shooting criminals, not knowing that the one was an undercover and was really Naruto and not a criminal. He was thrown into a war that wasn't his. Moreover, it didn't help that for the past three consecutive days he had been trying to save his own life from villains. Not knowing who to trust and eventually being tricked left and right. The first one was Karin Uzumaki or, as Sasuke had known, Rinka Nakayama his ex-lover. And due to complicated events, the last and the one who continuously lied to him was Naruto. Sasuke didn't even trust him after knowing the two names Naruto had given him were fabrications.

That night, by the fountain when Jūgo Kaguya got the upper hand, it was Sasuke who saved Naruto. With Naruto's bullets, Jūgo got shot three times on the arm, head, and chest, before finally falling down and filling the fountain with a bright crimson shade. Jūgo was Sasuke's first kill. But instead of seeing shock, denial and guilt, Sasuke's eyes were remorseless and his voice unfeeling. He didn't even bat an eye when he directed the gun at Naruto next.

He couldn't fault Sasuke then. Sasuke had been continuously pushed and shoved to somewhere he didn't want and need. The 'Daemones' case had been their reunion after ten long years; it wasn't hugs and smiles but guns and stolen treasures.

"Sasuke, you're scaring me," Naruto whispered, oblivious not until a second after he had uttered those words.

"Scared?" Sasuke laughed very darkly. "Yes, you ought to be scared with me. I'm someone to be feared! And you don't want to mess with me. So, get out and get lost!"

"I'm not going!" Naruto huffed with equal vigour as he finally stood up, looking up and matching midnight eyes with his own. He wasn't leaving because he knew Sasuke needed him right now. "I don't want to go. Sasuke, you clearly misunderstood me - "

"Misunderstood? I understand you just fine," Sasuke gritted angrily.

"No, Sasuke!" Naruto retorted before lifting a palm and holding the snowy cheek. He saw the midnight eyes thundering with immense darkness. "You did misunderstand. I tried to tell you… but yeah, the words weren't right. I can't do it like you do," he ranted before finally saying, "Sasuke, I'm not going to babysit you. Hell, I don't ever want to be your babysitter."

"Then what?" Sasuke murmured as he stared upon those tender metallic blue eyes.

"I just care for you," Naruto answered honestly as his cheeks started to tint. He didn't mind that because he could see the thunders were fading from those midnight eyes. "I want to care for you. It's simple as that." Sasuke didn't know what to say. "Please?" Naruto insisted. "Please, let me."

A beat passed as the taller man looked down, losing the will to fight. '_Care?'_ he repeated to himself brokenly. Almost a year ago, he wanted Naruto to care for him even just an ounce of it and now… Naruto was asking him to let him. His lungs were constricted at the thought. "I… I don't know what to say."

Naruto chuckled a little. "Just say yes, that'll do fine." But Sasuke was a stubborn person, instead of saying 'yes' he hugged the smaller frame, murmuring warmly, "Care for me, Naruto. Care for me, won't you?"

Naruto couldn't help the misting of his eyes at the emotion he heard. He hugged the taller man, muttering, "I said yes was fine, stubborn man. Yes, I care about you." He hugged him tighter trying to convey his silent apology as his throat ran dry with raw emotion. _I'm really sorry for how I had treated you, Sasuke. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of it_. He perfectly knew it was his fault why Sasuke was acting as such.

_I'm sorry, Sasuke, for everything._

When their hug broke, Sasuke wiped the tear stains on Naruto's face and apologized for his behaviour. "Well, a discussion once in a while is healthy. Thanks," Naruto said as they resumed sitting down. Naruto let a few moments pass, bending his knees and embracing it before he said, "Ne, Sasuke…"

"Yeah?"

"Can I sleep here, tonight?"

Stooping down to retrieve the fallen remote, Sasuke said, "You know the code. You have a key. And the guest – your bedroom is free again. There's nothing stopping you from sleeping here." Naruto smiled warmly at that. Instead of just saying 'yes' Sasuke had to list him reasons of why he could stay. He was truly a stubborn man. It was a good thing Naruto was also one.

**#**

Dressed in borrowed clothes and unable to actually sleep, Naruto slid the door quietly and went inside the large bedroom. His footsteps padded very softly as he ambled towards the bed. He sat on the floor and folded his arms together atop the bed, resting his head on it. Content, he stared at the sleeping figure. He missed doing this, staring at the resting architect.

After a couple of minutes of continuous greedy staring, he felt drowsy and then daringly he crawled onto the bed. Then carefully and slowly as to not disturb the sleeping person, he lifted the cover. But as he was about to fully lay down, he froze as midnight eyes stared at him.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," Naruto murmured. A single black brow rose in return, telling him, _'You certainly failed seeing as I'm now awake.'_

"Sorry. Can I sleep here?" Naruto said upon which the architect didn't respond. The situation was nice and very nostalgic of once a peaceful time when they were kids, before everything started going downhill. "I'll try not to snore, is that okay?" Naruto bargained.

"We shall see," Sasuke finally said as he moved towards the blond. "Move."

"Move?" Naruto repeated as Sasuke continued moving to the right side. "I don't want to sleep on the floor, Sasuke. Can't I just sleep beside you, here on the bed?" he pleaded before emphasising, "I will really try not to snore."

"Stop moving away or you'll really fall on the floor," Sasuke admonished as he climbed over Naruto and onto the outer other half of the right side. "Sleep on the other side."

"Oh. You should have just said that in the first place," Naruto grumbled as he obediently went to the newly vacated warm left side. "Why do you want to sleep on the right side anyway?"

"It's nearest to the door," Sasuke said as he righted the covers over them. "So, if we're attacked, they have to face me first."

"Attacked?" Naruto asked doubtfully. "We're five floors up the ground."

"You never know, Naruto."

"Sasuke, is this why you wouldn't let me sleep on the left whenever I slept over when we were kids?" Naruto asked. "Where'd you learn that anyways?"

"Papa, it's one of his rules," Sasuke replied before closing his eyes. "Night, Naruto."

"Sweet dreams, Sasuke," Naruto answered as he closed his eyes.

"You too." Ten minutes passed, before eyelids opened up and Naruto resumed staring at his bed companion. Unable to continue sleeping due to the distinct pressure of someone staring at him, Sasuke warned and ordered, "Stop it, Naruto."

_Ack!_ "Sa – Sasuke, you're still awake?" Midnight eyes appeared with a mildly irritated glint. "Sleep, Naruto. We still have work tomorrow."

"Sasuke, can I hold your hand?" Naruto asked hesitantly. As much as he would like to deny it to anybody, he was simply afraid that Sasuke would disappear on him again. And he needed to feel the small weight of physical reassurance and reminder that Sasuke was back and still with him when his eyes couldn't anymore. Moreover, he just longed to hold those hands.

Disturbed at the sudden request, Sasuke asked, "Why?"

"I just want to, can I?"

The room's lights were off and the only one serving as a dim shine was from partly opened toilet door behind Sasuke. He titled his head as he studied the metallic blue eyes inches away from him. They were troubled. "Afraid of dark now?"

"No. It's alright if you decline," Naruto replied before trying again, "I just want to hold your hands tonight."

Sasuke bit his inner cheek as the reason descended upon him. "I'll let you hold them," he said as he shuffled against the covers, moving closer to the centre then inching both of his hands towards Naruto's side. "If you do anything funny like draw on it with a marker, I'm going to punch your nose."

Relieved and thankful, Naruto also moved towards the centre and held the offered hands. "Not even if I draw you a classic skeleton chronograph?" he joked and Sasuke glared at those twinkling metallic blue eyes. After a moment, he gave in because no matter how long he glared, Naruto was just a prankster through and through. He would know come tomorrow morning if there was a nose to be broken.

When snowy lids finally covered the midnight eyes, Naruto couldn't help inching closer and whispering mischievously, "Fine, I'll draw you a sports' watch instead."

"Are you ever going to sleep or not?" Sasuke asked, contemplating if this was a good idea at all or if he should just punch Naruto now. "Sorry," Naruto whispered before obediently sleeping, content and happy, with Sasuke's hands cradled between his own and near his heart.

…


End file.
